Having spent the first 4 months of this year procrastinating about whether to have surgery or not I finally saw the surgeon today.

But a little more about me first I think. I am 56 years old and been overweight since I was 8. Sure I have lost weight plenty of times, but it never stays off. Eventually that nibble of cheese in the evening becomes a plate full of cheese and crackers or that couple of squares of chocolate becomes a whole bar ... or two. Damn the supermarket for always having a 2 for 1 special on some type of chocolate.

I can't deny it is my own fault. I know I eat way too much of the wrong things but somehow after intense periods of self control it falls through the floor and I am back where I started. Of course I never set out to eat a whole packet of chips, or a whole bar of chocolate (family size of course) but that is how it ends up.

4 years go I decided to give up sugar completely. I literally dragged myself through the first few weeks, but by about 8 weeks, I was no longer craving and rarely thought about it. I didn't lose any weight but at lease I didn't put any on either. Then I stopped eating breads .. well anything with flour in it really. I also cut out potato and rice. So I was basically left with fresh vegetables, meat, dairy and fruit. I did marvelously on that diet and lost 20 kg with hardly any effort. I kept on losing slowly for nearly 2 years. Then I went on a cruise ... I stuck with my eating regime for the first week, but then decided that the Desserts were only little and one wouldn't hurt. Those croissants at Breakfast were only small too, so they wouldn't hurt either. Nor would the chocolate sauce on the pudding, and the hot chocolate at the coffee shop. I had a wonderful time on that cruise, really let my hair down and managed to undo everything I had done over the previous few years. Oh I didn't come back with all the weight back on, but when I tried to stop eating the "bad" things again and return to my healthy eating my head just wouldn't let me. Time and time again I tried but never with the success of that first time.

Recently I tried to give up the sugar again with a friend's help. She suggested that I get a tape measure and cut a centimeter off for each day I didn't eat sugar. Today I cut off the 50th centimeter. I still find it hard to go past chocolate in the shops, but for the rest of the time I don't worry about it as much. Tomorrow I am stopping the bread and crackers again, moving back to more fresh vegetables and a piece of fruit a day. Then next week I will slowly introduce my VLCD one meal at a time. I will replace lunch first since I enjoy my porridge at breakfast and find I can manage well without lunch if I eat a good breakfast. I won't go without lunch though, just replace it with one of those drinks *shudder*. I am going to buy some bars as well since I prefer them to drinks.

So why have I chosen to go the surgical route? Well aside from the obvious continual failings, I need knee surgery, two replacements but they won't do them until i lose weight. Since I can't walk without a cane now, I need to do something about my weight quickly. Sure I could just do a VLCD and lose the weight I need to for the knee surgery but this time I want a permanent solution. I also have a heart problem, high blood pressure and diabetes. All of these will improve if I lose significant weight and keep it off.

I suppose by some measures I don't have so much to lose. I weigh exactly 100 kg and at 5 ft 2 that makes my BMI 40. I would like to get to about 60kg but even 65kg would make my life significantly better. These days I have given up worrying about what I look like. I just want to be able to move around more freely and feel more healthy.

I used to be a nurse (in operating theater so I know exactly what this surgery looks like lol). I had to give up nursing last year because me knees would no longer hold me for a full shift (or even half a shift). Now I am doing a PhD and am really enjoying the change of pace.

So back to today. I saw the surgeon, one of my old colleagues and we agreed that they best surgery for me was Roux en y. However, he suspects a hiatus hernia so I have to have an endoscopy first. That is booked for 5th July. Hopefully if all moves smoothly I will have my surgery mid July. I have to see the dietitian, psych and a cardiologist/intensive care physician because of my heart problems. With any luck I will be able to book them all in before the endoscopy so that when it is done I can get the actual surgery booked fast. It only takes a week or two here in Australia to book into a private hospital I already have the paperwork which I can send in now so they have me on the system. Then my surgeon will just give me a date and it's done.

I am still not 100% convinced I want to go through with it, but I will most likely need to have the lap hernia repair anyway so I might as well do the lot in one go.

First step on the path so to speak

Congratulations and good luck on your upcoming surgery. Let us know if we can be of any help.

It is a hard decision. I thought about it for months. But in the end, I wish I did it years ago. You will be very happy.

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So I was wondering how things are going. Your story sounds a bit like mine however i am 45 and i haven't lost use of my knees yet. I have contemplated surgery for years but always walk away because"if I could lose it before I can do it again" however this time I maxed my weight out at 419. I smcurrently in the 6 month lifestyle/nutrtion holding pattern until i can have surgery. Did you get a surgery date. Should i do this?

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Update at 3.5 months out

So I had the surgery .. and survived lol. The first week was terrible, just constant vomiting. But it passed and I went home from hospital still scared but able to drink whatever I wanted in fluids.

I found that for the most part clear fluids (broths and such) were the easiest, but each day i would try some thicker Soup etc because it was on my meal plan.

Slowly I got to introduce puree, then soft foods, then normal diet. It didn't always go well and there were many days where I needed to go back to clear fluids to give my stomach a rest. It took a lot of patience.

But I made it. I know now which foods I definitely can't eat (at the moment at least), which foods can be iffy, and which foods are mostly "safe".

I say mostly safe because nothing post RNY is definite in the first year or two.

The hardest challenge for me has been eating out. There have been a few family events that involve eating out and I find that I often just order a latte and pinch a chip from someone's plate or go with a side salad. For me that is safest and I really don't want to be rushing to the bathroom in a restaurant (I have had it happen a couple of times and it is no fun at all).

The surgeons have put me on the list for double knee replacements and my heart failure has gone. I have cut down on my blood pressure meds and last week the doc took me off insulin .. although I do need to take tablets at least for a while.

I reached a psychological goal for me as well yesterday. I am now the lightest I have been in 25 years. If I lose another 5 kg I will be the lightest I have been since I was 17.

The road to recovery hasn't been easy. There have been a lot of setbacks. The ups and downs of weight loss have had me in tears at times, but I had good support from friends who got me through the worst of it. Now I am focused on enjoying life instead of what the scales say. And the scales are being much friendlier to me as well.

So I am facing the next 3 months with more enthusiasm and joy for life.