Like many others, I have gained and lost weight over and over again. Self sabotage is a well known behavior for sure. But now I can see where some of it comes from. My dad, who never gave me the unconditional love and acceptance all children crave and need, asked me yesterday if I 'found' the 12 lbs. my boyfriend lost.

It's something I know I should ignore, but I happen to be struggling right now and it's like he knows it....even though I've not said a word to him. I am just about those 12lbs. over what I'd like to get back down to and somehow, he knew that and called me out on it. Now I know he really didn't know I put a few back on and am actively working on taking them off. You can't see any gain in pictures. I know because I posted a side by side yesterday of my grandson when he was born, and for his one year birthday this past Saturday. But my dad....he just knows how to push my buttons. And I let him do it. I actually gave him hard numbers when he asked what I weighed at my lowest and what I weigh now. It's none of his damn business..and yet I told him anyway. And then I started stammering when trying to defend myself. He goes on to ask me if my clothes were tight and I'm thinking, why am I even having this conversation with the man? He's so unaware of what those comments do to me. All he has to do though is look at his other daughter, who is still obese. There's a reason why his girls at one time, were both 'Two Ton Tessies' as we were once called.

I'll have to follow my own advice I give to those out there with this type of issue....let the comments roll off my back, and just do what I have to do. I'm going for a fill on Thursday and hoping that will help. I swear....I hate him sometimes and I wish I could tell him how this stuff is none of his business. This is so my father's MO....praise first.....so I get my guard down...and then a slap as he's walking away, just to make sure I don't get too confident and happy with myself.

OK, I'm done with the rant. Thanks for listening, my virtual friends out there...

@@gowalking ... first, I'm sorry your dad is a perfect a*****e. And he really is.

Second, I hope your fill is just what the doctor ordered.

Third, you are such a pleasure to hang out with here at BP. You really are such a smart, lovely person. It's really nice to know you. Thanks for being here.

Thanks sooo much for the support and advice. You folks rock...you really do.

My mother is a petite 5'2". She would give me weight loss advise because she had to lose 20 pounds after I was born and always struggled gaining and losing those 10 pounds. There were times she would actually get too thin. Mind you she was not fit just thin. Weight loss advise from somebody who needs to lose 10 pounds isn't real helpful to somebody who needs to lose 100 pounds (as you all know).

I got to the point that I told her my weight and weight loss in general was not a topic we would discuss. If she started to stray there I just reminded her that we would not discuss this.

Sorry your father is such an a$$hat. Limiting contact isn't the worst thing in the world. You need to protect yourself. You also need to make sure that your children and grandchildren don't get subjected to the same judgmental treatment. Hopefully you would cut ties with a "friend" that treats you this way. No reason you need to put up with crap just because you are related to them.