So my SO is totally supportive and has been really excited for me but now that surgery is getting close, he keeps making comments about when I'm skinny and different sly things about how I will prob leave. My surgery is really high risk. I know he's scared to death and now I think he's starting to question us. He doesn't have a weight issue and works in the entertainment industry. He's never had a problem with confidence and is the life of the party. Anyone have any tips? Do I just ignore it? Reassure him? Let him act like a whiney baby?[emoji38] Why are they so complicated ?! [emoji13]

There's nothing more complicated than human emotion. Love is simple, but we are silly creatures that make things WAY more ridiculous than they need to be. It's likely that he's just feeling a little insecure and even though he jokes or says it on the sly, he may actually be worried you are going to leave him.

If I were in this situation, I would sit him down and say openly and honestly "I am not with you because I'm fat. I am not with you because I feel like I have to settle. I am not with you because I didn't think I could do better. I am changing my body for the sake of my health. My mind and heart are still my own." And I would say it very clearly while looking straight in his eyes.

Society as a whole pretends that women are the insecure, fragile ones. But any person who actually knows and loves a dude knows that their insecurity can run just as deeply as ours. Make him understand how you really feel and why you're really doing this.

Congrats on your upcoming surgery! Getting close now, I see. Exciting!

Good luck on your upcoming surgery. You might integrate him more into the process. Take him to a few bariatric surgery support group meeting. You might even see if he would be willing to stay with you when you are in the hospital. Many hospitals allow that now. Undergoing bariatric surgery can be a hard road to travel, at least for awhile. Hardship can bind two people closer together, if you work through the problems together.

Thanks for the responses. He will be at the hospital. And I have told him but I haven't had a real "serious" talk about that just because my body will change doesn't mean I will. He's been through so many surgeries with me but they were heart ones and totally different. And he's loved me when I was thinner and larger I think it's sinking in, that I am really doing this and it will change our lives.

My hubby is my best friend ???? and he knows I'm doing this because I want to live longer and be a good mom and wife so he knows that my love is permanent