I got a new FitBit Blaze last Friday. I decided to start tracking my food on the FitBit site for this first little while, just to get a sense of all the features available to me with the Blaze. I have been maintaining at or below goal for 6 months and I am currently training for a half marathon.

The problem I'm having is that every time I have ever tracked my food regularly in the past, it has been in an effort to LOSE weight. I have an obsessive personality and I find that I am now becoming super obsessed with the numbers and I'm finding it hard to force myself to eat enough to MAINTAIN my weight instead of trying to lose more weight. I've run a significant deficit every day since I started tracking on Saturday.

Saturday: 1698 in / 2446 out

Sunday: 1672 in / 2104 out

Monday: 1886 in / 2824 out

Tuesday: 1685 in / 2374 out

So I've averaged a 700+ calorie deficit each day. And as of this morning, I'm down 0.8 pounds since Saturday.

I know I tend to naturally eat around 1700 calories a day and I've had to add in extra Snacks since I started my half marathon training in order to "eat back" the calories I'm burning. The problem is, now that I am tracking, I am psychologically having a hard time eating back those "extra" calories. It feels "wrong" and "bad" somehow.

So I guess my questions are:

• Do any of you still track in maintenance?
• If so, how do you force yourself to eat enough calories?
• What tips/tricks do you have for getting in extra calories?
• Did you struggle to disassociate tracking from "weight loss mode"?

You and I are a little different in that you are burning more calories than me during the day and if I remember correctly you are also good about doing weight training work, which I hate because I'm lazy, ha.

Do any of you still track in maintenance?

Yes, I use MyFitnessPal everyday. I saw today that I hit 165 days without forgetting to login. I stopped tracking for awhile last summer and while I didn't gain weight immediately when I did start gaining a few pounds as soon as I went back to tracking I was right back at maintenance. It makes me feel like I'm more in control. As an example, this morning I woke up about 0.8 heavier than yesterday, which is still within my normal fluctuation range but I only had like 800 calories yesterday. Of course, 230 of it was because I decided to try a Pasta steamer, which not only made me sick but also cost me a little bit of temporary weight. I have had pasta less than 5 times since surgery so I knew I'd be heavier this morning, but because I had everything in MyFitnessPal, I'm not worried about it because I can see that I was well within all of my set goals and actually quite a bit under compared to my usual calories.

If so, how do you force yourself to eat enough calories?

Yeah, usually I don't have a problem with calories. If I go over 1800 I gain weight, around 1400-1700 I'm fine, and I think the few days a week where I'm just not interested in eating and I get about 800-1200 calories are probably what makes up for the higher calorie days. I know that there are days where I eat more than I should, so I don't worry about the lower calorie days when I don't feel like food.

What tips/tricks do you have for getting in extra calories?

Ohhh no problems, haha.

Did you struggle to disassociate tracking from "weight loss mode"?

Yes, very much. I don't wear my fitbit anymore because I'm not as concerned about hitting steps. Also, to be fair as long as I stay a little bit in weight-loss mode, I don't have to worry as much about gaining. When I was losing I was obsessive about tracking everything, however if I halfheartedly attempt to lose weight, the result is that I maintain, which works out for me. I guess in that sense I never really totally moved out of weight loss mode.

Good questions -- see my answers below:

* Do any of you still track in maintenance?

Yes, I do. I reached my goal (150 pounds) nearly a year ago. As soon as I could, I ate 1700 cals/day (you can't jump from 1200 to 1700 overnight, as you probably know). And I STILL lost, albeit slowly, another 15 pounds. I'm now maintaining at 135 pounds. And about a month ago I went up to 1800 calories. I don't always make it though.

* If so, how do you force yourself to eat enough calories?

Well, as I said -- slowly. I raised calories by adding (mostly) more carbs. I still eat a lot of Protein (80 - 110 grams) and more oil. I cook more now, and sometimes add in extra olive oil when cooking. I now eat butter sometimes. I occasionally even eat things like biscuits, granola bars, ice cream, Pasta. But I choose one of these things only daily -- and usually not every day. Nonetheless, about the only thing you can do to get in calories is overcome your new habit of avoiding higher calorie and higher carb foods.

* What tips / tricks do you have for getting in extra calories.

See above. Also, healthy crackers that contain protein, Fiber, seeds, multiple grains (NOT wheat thins ), full-fat cheese, healthy breads. More treats -- although recently I had to cut out dark chocolate, which had become a daily *need*, not an occasional treat.

* Did you struggle to disassociate tracking from "weight loss mode"?

Oh, yeah. But you know what ... eventually, I did make the transition. Here's the deal: When you get thinner than you've been in a long time (40 years, in my case) you think you're too thin. And then, over months of time looking at yourself and dressing yourself, you realize you're actually not too thin; you're just NORMAL-SIZED. At least, that's been my reaction.

Remember -- we're only 18 months post-op. I'm more focused now on learning how to eat healthy than I am on losing more weight or even trying to gain more weight. I really believe @@CowgirlJane and others who are longer post-op than I am who say that it gets easier to regain as time goes along. I'm no longer afraid of getting too skinny, since I'm not losing anymore. But I'm still a bit nervous about gaining 15 pounds again. And I don't want to. I really don't want to. Because NOW that I'm comfortable at this weight, I would like to remain here if I can.

BTW, I'm not exercising nearly as much as you are. So ... milkshakes?

Also, remember, you don't have to eat exactly the same number of calories every single day. Splurge a few days a week.

@@AvaFern and @@VSGAnn2014 Thank you so much for the detailed responses. I think one of my main obstacles to getting in more calories is that I still have a lot of restriction. In order to get to that 1700 mark, I'm already eating 6 times a day. Fitting in more food is a challenge because it means working it into my schedule. I had already made the jump to more calorie dense foods. For lunch almost every day, I eat 2 oz. of cheese and 1 oz. of peanuts, which is a total of 400 calories in one sitting. I need to find a balance that lets me fit in more "feedings" and ensure those feedings include calorie-dense foods I guess.

I wasn't doing too badly with maintenance before I started tracking, because I knew I needed to eat about 600-700 more calories a day and I was usually doing that with two extra "feedings" of pure carbs. But now that I'm tracking, I feel SO GUILTY eating those extra carbs every day.

When I was training for 100km bike rides, I was working with an RD who was a marathoner. She really worked with me to change my thinking to "eating for endurance". Bonking once on a long training ride was all it took to convince me. I had the added challenge of hating even the idea of eating when I was training hard. On long bike rides (several hours at a stretch), eating during the ride is necessary, and I couldn't handle solids at all.

It really is a whole new mindset. I don't wonder that it takes a paradigm shift.

@@JamieLogical ...

The guilt we feel associated with food is something I believe we need to turn around. As we know (intellectually, at least) food is neither good nor bad. But (emotionally, at least) we long felt guilty for eating *more* than we *should* have.

Ever since surgery, we've practiced eating so much less than we used to eat. Even before surgery (when I was pre-op dieting -- on my own and then later on my surgeon's liver-shrinking diet) and ever since I've been building the mindset and the habit that I eat less and have for over a year and a half now felt tremendous psychic and psychological rewards for eating so much less and feeling so satisfied while eating so much less.

It does not surprise me at all that we feel conflicted and feel the old guilt for now trying to "eat too much."

I think this phase is just like every other phase -- something we have to work at. We just have to remember that losing the weight is only the first step of this journey. Maintaining a healthy weight and learning how to balance our *needs* with our *food intake* is a very sophisticated thing for those of us who've been obese so long and now newly slim / healthy to deal with. It's a lot to ask of ourselves. Our skill in these areas won't develop overnight. We have to be smart and disciplined about this phase, just as we've been smart and disciplined in losing the weight.

The danger that lurks in this new phase is that our activity levels will fluctuate -- due to bad weather, training injuries, exercise goals, work pressures, family stresses, etc. And that means we have to be alert to our changing dietary needs. I type this realizing it sounds like I know what I'm doing. Not particularly! I'm just thinking through all this stuff like everybody else does when they get to this point.

We can do this.

I think a lot about how I will need to adapt my diet as my activity level changes. Obviously right now, while training for this half marathon, my caloric needs are artificially high. When this running season is over and I undergo my second round of plastic surgery, I will have at least 6 weeks of no exercise and then slowly ramping up duration and intensity as I recover. My caloric needs will be very different through that period. That's why I am trying to construct my diet so it is "modular". I have this feeding schedule and a rough idea of what to eat at each feeding. But, I want to be able to cut back the number of times I'm eating as a first step when I need to cut back calories. And then change what I am actually eating at each of my remaining feedings as needed. On the surface, I want to be very analytical about all of it, but I clearly still have a lot of emotion tied to food.

I cant add much EXCEPT it has been my personal experience that what you need to do varies alot over time... be prepared to keep evolving!

Yesterday I manged to have a 110 calorie surplus! But it meant eating out for lunch, having a candy bar in the afternoon, having some potato chips when I got home from work, having an extra Protein bar before bed, and it being a cardio rest day, so only doing strength training. And I was still down another 0.2 pounds on the scale this morning.