Have you noticed people treating you differently?

[Chrystee 838]

I have noticed lately that men open the door for me (or RUN out of their way to get the door for me).. Or just smile at me, or make small talk..

Even women seem to be nicer to be lately..

Just wondered if anyone else noticed going from pretty much invisible to a little more attention at a certain point of their weight loss..

[gowalking 10,790]

Oh absolutely. When I was obese, I was invisible. Somewhere on my weight loss journey, I started to feel better about myself and began to wear makeup and do my hair. I had already started to wear more fashionable clothes. You find that you carry yourself differently...more confidently..and it starts to occur to you that people...both men and woman...are noticing. Now...if you really want to attract male attention...wear a dress. I've been wearing dresses to work regularly for a little over a year and can't help but notice how guys not only hold open doors, but they let me in and out of the elevators first, they even let me get ahead of them on the lunch line.

[bikrchk 1,313]

Absolutely! Looks, smiles, people seem to greet me first, even the solicitors at the mall who never approached me before won't leave me alone now! The whole "invisible fat person" thing is really a thing! I always wore makeup before and dressed well, (in a vain attempt to hide my weight). I'm also fully aware that a portion of this is all about the vibe I give off... How approachable I am. I am am happier, more confident person these days and it shows! That's probably part of it too.

[OKCPirate 5,323]

@@Chrystee - This is a tough one for women. The new attention is initially fun, but also brings resentment for being objectified. And then you get mad for being ignored in the past while you were fat/invisible. If this really becomes an issue you might want to talk to a therapist about it. We all want "normal" in our lives, and sometimes we need help to transition to a new normal to prevent unconscious self-sabotage. Maybe not you, but others reading this thread.

[Chrystee 838]

I'm not really resentful.. the attention is sometimes a little weird for me.. I've always dressed well, worked out.. and done my makeup and hair.. but I actually feel pretty. I've always been told I had a good personality.. I don't really blame anyone.. I'm superficial at times myself.

[gowalking 10,790]

@@Chrystee - This is a tough one for women. The new attention is initially fun, but also brings resentment for being objectified. And then you get mad for being ignored in the past while you were fat/invisible. If this really becomes an issue you might want to talk to a therapist about it. We all want "normal" in our lives, and sometimes we need help to transition to a new normal to prevent unconscious self-sabotage. Maybe not you, but others reading this thread.

Resentment over being invisible when heavy my friend is a whole other thread..

Speaking for myself, I've come to terms with it. It just is what it is. Hell, I find I do the same thing...avoiding random interactions with larger people. I think we are afraid to make an obese person feel even more uncomfortable than they already may be. At least that's what I think I do when I don't engage with a larger person. And it's true...there is a vibe often of 'leave me alone'. I'm sure it's all part of the 'leave me alone' thing...which is why the layers of fat may be there to begin with.

I know that many folks feel they are just the same, only in a smaller and healthier body. I am of the opinion however, that for the majority of us, we have undergone both outside and inside changes. I know I am not the same person I was when I was heavier. My basic identity is the same...as is my moral compass. But everything else is up for grabs.

[JamieLogical 8,684]

Definitely a lot more door holding. I work at a college so there are always a lot of people around and a lot of foot traffic. Now both men and women hold the door for me more. I also seem to get mistaken for a student a lot more, maybe because I'm dressing "younger" now?

[*Lexie* 1,486]

I have definitely noticed this. From people opening doors for me, getting hit on, to getting more opportunities in my career. I enjoy it, particularly when it comes to career opportunities. I enjoy it intentionally because like @@OKCPirate mentioned, this can be tough for women. When I lost weight on my own around 6 years ago, I was very uncomfortable with people noticing me. I'm sure you can guess what happened. I gained the weight back. I think I still wanted to hide. I am not making that mistake again.

[sharkgirl 251]

Most definitely but I've also noticed women being more bitchy. Makes me remember why I had more male friends in my teens/twenties when I was thin.

[catwoman7 10,846]

more looks from men - but fewer of those "look at that freakishly fat woman" looks when I walk into a room. I feel like I "fit in" better. So I'm more invisible in good ways, and less invisible in bad ways.

I also get offered senior discounts now, which I never used to. It was really bizarre at first. I actually *do* qualify at a lot of places, but I always looked young for my age. Evidently, not anymore. That fat evidently plumped out my wrinkles!

[Chrystee 838]

I actually find some women being nicer to me too.. like in the grocery store, striking up a conversation.. which I never had before either..

[bellabloom 2,467]

I get a lot of looks from men now for sure. It's not that weird for me because I was only overweight 5 years and I used to get looks before I gained. Sometimes the looks are a little over the top though. One guy followed me around the grocery store.

As for women, I both get treated better and worse. I feel appreciative looks, feel like more women are open to a friendship with me... I also feel some envy from others.

Work opportunities have grown as well, especially since I'm in the fashion/arts industry. I'm received a lot better by everyone.

I enjoy the attention and try to take it in stride. After all, this is just the cover of my book and people don't know me until they know me.

When I was overweight I remember feeling so envious and angry towards thin women and also obsessed with them. I don't feel that way anymore. And I find overweight women very beautiful.

It's quite an adjustment I think. I also think the attention and positivity comes from how happily I now carry myself. People are drawn to that.

[LovinSoul 113]

I'm not really resentful.. the attention is sometimes a little weird for me.. I've always dressed well, worked out.. and done my makeup and hair.. but I actually feel pretty. I've always been told I had a good personality.. I don't really blame anyone.. I'm superficial at times myself.

Good that you never had that resentment going on, but @@OKCPirate I do experience that resentment. When people who used to look right through me in social situations now find it appropriate to comment on my appearance, I find it so amazingly rude. For me it highlights the fact that they have serious issues surrounding appearances (particularly weight) as it relates to me specifically. But, of course, so must I if I resent it so much. So there you go! I'd like to say appearances don't matter to me, but clearly I'm concerned about them as well. I hope I never made someone feel invisible, though. That is just such a bad way to feel.