First post..

I'm frustrated and need a place to vent. I've been browsing these forums for the past week reading up on the gastric sleeve procedure, success stories, and complications. Here's some history on me:

Last week, I went through the bariatric workup program at a very prominent, high profile, good reputation clinic. My goal was to meet with the physician and his team to help me lose weight non-surgically. I'm 34, just weighed in at 295 (my absolute highest, I was mortified), and have tried several attempts at low carb resulting in 20, 40, or 60 lbs lost. I was able to keep off the weight for about two years with maintaining a low carb lifestyle and running in the mornings until I injured my knee at my old job. I regained the weight quickly and have been discouraged many times since.

The really discouraging part, though, happened during my appointments. I met with the nutritionist and she listened carefully; we mapped out a diet program for me and I left the office feeling positive about making smaller, incremental changes instead of drastic 'no sugar ever' changes that I've fallen from before. Next was the psychologist.

The first question that the psychologist asked was, "So, what kind of surgery are you contemplating?"

I told her politely that I hadn't been interested in surgery, that I was coming for a doctor-guided weight loss program since I've until now just worked on my own. That's when the appt went downhill..

From there on, she told me that I would not ever be able to break the cycle of weight loss/frustration/weight gain. She said my body would always want to be 295 now that I'd topped out at this weight, and that nothing would work for me except for biological intervention (cutting out that hunger center in the stomach) through surgery. She said choosing not to do surgery would be choosing to be morbidly obese for the rest of my life, and spent the rest of the appointment going over the two kinds of surgery they provide (bypass and sleeve).

I left that appointment feeling miserable. I'm a very rebellious person, so my tendency is to want to prove her wrong and double down on my weight loss attempts. The other part of me is miserable and worrisome, and concerned that she's just telling me a hard truth that I don't want to swallow.

I don't know what to do. I'm conflicted, sad, and frustrated. That appointment has left me an emotional mess as I try to sort out the truths and fallacies in her statements towards me. I'm open to the concept of having surgery, but I have avoided serious consideration until now because it seems like such a drastic intervention.. but now I feel like I've been punched in the gut saying that I can't do this through dieting and never will be able to. I'm 34 and I've been heavy since I was a teenager. I've failed multiple attempts at diets. But does that really mean I'll never be able to do it?

Would love to hear your thoughts

Edited January 7, 201610 yr by Ruth Shepherd

I really wonder where these low numbers come from... hadn't heard 27% before, but I've heard the 60% of excess weight one. I guess it's the people who post here that their sleeves "failed" and they only lost like 16 pounds post-op that drag down the average. I see far more people posting here that have lost 100% or more of their excess body weight. I'm still technically slightly above a healthy BMI, but I wouldn't want to lose another pound. My excess weight is all skin and muscle. I am below 20% body fat.

Yeah, your over-achieving tendency is a good thing. Actually, it's a great thing.

Now that that's out of the way, the psychologist is f**king WRONG about losing 27% of your weight via a sleeve!

I, too, am an over-achiever. I've lost 100 pounds with the sleeve. I now weigh 135 pounds. So that means I lost 100% of my excess weight and 43% of my total starting weight. BTW, I'm twice as old as you (70 years old now), so I expect your weight loss rate compared to mine will be faster. You go, girl!

Once again, although she was right about the likelihood (no greater than 2%) of losing and maintaining a large weight loss without WLS, she's totally f**king WRONG in her predictions of how much weight loss you should expect!

Sight unseen, I don't care for her either. Just grit your teeth and get through her "education." As is often said around here, take what you want, leave the rest. Exercise your emotional intelligence, as well as your intellectual intelligence.

I dunno what a psychologist is doing quoting statistics anyhow, it isn't exactly their field.

Tune out what you don't need. be willing to learn, and keep on with the goal in mind. Thank heavens your surgeon is more skilled than the psychologist seems to be!

@@JamieLogical @@VSGAnn2014 Thanks for the words of encouragement!

@@VSGAnn2014 I am so impressed with your loss at a mature age, that is incredible!

There is so much noise associated with WLS. It's hard to know what to filter out and what to hang onto when words are needed. But man this lady is frustrating!

No mental health official should ever attempt to lead you down a path you aren't willing to follow. If it was your choice to pursue a non-surgical weight loss plan, that is certainly your right.

You have to be ready, 100% ready in mind, body and soul in order to consider weight loss surgery. If you're not ready, or perhaps will never be ready, because you don't wish to go down that route, that should have been it.

Forcing or even influencing someone to have this surgery, who is not ready, is simply a set up for failure that is every bit as detrimental as yo-yo dieting.

WLS is big on family support. But in actuality the first person you need to have on your side is yourself, or that house of cards will have no foundation to stand on.

You should definitely seek out another psychologist. Good luck!