Hello everyone,

I'm not sure if this belong in here or not..

But I really do need some support..

Most people around me don't understand the surgery and what we go through so they really don't understand what I'm going through.

Its been almost a year for my surgery (11 Jan 2015).

I'm on diet since I did the surgery and all...

There have been an ups and downs but I'm trying my best to survive...

I lost weight .. losing weight become harder this days and I'll tell you why in a min..!!!

my problem is ....

I look at myself at the mirror and feel like this won't last...!!

I'm so afraid that I will lose all of this someday..

all I can think of is .. what if some day I gain weight again .. what if I return to my old weight....

All I can think of is pretty and beautiful thing don't last.

and because of this I start to have so much guilt and I cry myself out whenever I eat anything..and I only eat healthy food.

I'm afraid I will stretch my stomach again .. I'm so scared it will expand ..

Every meal turns into a hug guilt and I start asking myself "why did I eat this and that now my stomach will expand.."

I stopped going out with my friends and even visiting people because I'm afraid I'll eat and I will ended up expanding my stomach..

I locked myself in my house......

I start to eat less than 1000 calorie a day and I do exercise..

I start to feel dizzy when I stand up .. every time..

I don't loss weight like before .. my process become slower and slower and my body now is craving all kinds of food especially sweets and chocolate..!!!

I'm tired.

I'm really tired of over thinking..tired of having to cry after every meal..

I'm really tired but it's out of my hands .. I don't want my stomach to expand I don't want to get to the old weight

I'm tired of being dizzy most of the day and being afraid I will faint someday.. I do a blood testing for vitamins and all every 3 months .. everything is okay but I still feel dizzy .. and there have been some days when I actually faint!!

If anyone went through this please tell me how can you get over this?

I want to eat a meal without crying and feeling bad...

I want to eat my treat without crying and turn my day to bad day!!!

I tried to stop treating myself but I couldn't .... "I use healthy/diet chocolate and sweet only"

I'm sorry this is a long post but I'm really desperate.

. but this days I'm always dizzy, lazy and I have no energy

That's because you only eat one meal a day.

The 60+g protein/day is universal, you don't need to talk to your surgeon to verify. So is the MINIMUM 64oz Fluid rule. So is the taking Vitamins and getting regular bloodwork done to check for deficiencies. These are basic guidelines for all WLS patients forever.

You WILL NOT stretch your sleeve eating appropriate portions (2-6oz) of healthy food. You WILL NOT stretch your sleeve drinking fluids. This includes Protein shakes if that's what it takes to meet protein goals. You seem to have developed a serious eating disorder. If you can't bring yourself to nourish your body appropriately, you need to seek professional help. Call any therapist, psychologist or counselor you can find. If they don't feel they can help you, perhaps they can refer you to a specialist that can.

Please get help before you do some serious, irreversible damage.

I do feel I'm doing something bad..

I'm trying to change this I don't want to harm myself !!!

it takes time .. but I'm trying to fix this i'm aware of it ><

but this fear is still there so i'm trying to change this!

My start was about 52 BMI. The recommendations have evolved over the last 4 years, but 60 is a pretty standard minimum. What I was banded in 2001 I was given zero guidelines. ..just told I would become a delicate eater.

I will start taking some Protein shakes that for sure!!