Losing a best friend

[lorri716 256]

I know I've seen a thread on here about losing g friends but I can't find it so I've started another one.

I have a best friend who we talk about everything and anything. I'm sure most of us have that person. However I think mine is purposely avoiding me. We live only 3 miles from each other, so it's not distance.

We used to call each other every morning and discuss our evening ad plans for the day or whatever, but I haven't heard from her on 2 weeks. I've left messages I've texted her but she only responded once and with some lame excuse.

I think that she's jealous of my weight loss as now I look much thinner than her and I'm down almost 50lbs. I'm trying to accept that some people just can accept this but damn it sucks not talking to my bestie.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Have you asked her outright why she is avoiding you? That's probably your best course of action.

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,443]

@@lorri716 -- If you haven't been specific in a text or VM, leave one that is specific as to a get-together. Suggest a particular day to avoid the back-and-forthing, name a neutral place (a walk in the park or some such). The neutral location eliminates the chance for either of you to feel a "power" imbalance because of being on the other's territory. If you're correct about a negative reaction to your weight loss, it's more effective to clear the air in person than by phone.

[Pillar2butterfly 391]

Ah honey, I'm sorry...I agree with everyone else, being direct will get to the bottom of it. Hopefully you get through whatever it is and come out stronger. If it were my bestie, I'd show up at her door if I had to....unannounced if necessary.

[The Candidate 3,215]

Change has a way of showcasing hidden insecurities. I agree with the others. Find a way to tactfully confront her about it. Whatever happens it will at least put all your unanswered questions to rest, and you can move forward.

Hope it works out well for you!

[lauriev 71]

My bestie had gastric bypass surgery 3 years ago. We were good for the first few months while she was still losing, but once she got pretty close to her goal weight she started talking about "oh, I am getting fat again" and saying things about how big she was, which totally ticked me off so I will be honest, I would go for a bit without being around her because that just made me feel even bigger! I got over it each time and we still hang out but it hurt my feelings when she would say things like that. Mind you, I didn't have a problem with her talking about her surgery or how she had to eat now or anything like that, it was the talk about how fat she was when she is clearly wearing a MUCH smaller size than me.

Now that I am having surgery she was the first person to jump up and down with me, cheer for me, make sure that I know to get all my Vitamins and things bought, where to go buy them, what I should and should not try to eat and is even taking off the day of my surgery so I have someone there.....couldn't ask for more!

[livvsmum 2,368]

I've had the same exact thing happen. My best friend since kindergarten & I both had sleeve surgery. My weight loss has been significant & I've maintained it for over 1.5 years. Unfortunately she was not ready to change her behavior and/or deal with the underlying cause of her overeating, so she has gained all of weight back plus some.

She's been pulling away from me more & more and it finally occurred to me that it is likely because of my "success" with the weight loss. I don't know if she's jealous or if it makes her feel badly or what but it totally sucks.

I just kind of came to the resolution that she will always be my friend, but I really have to focus on surrounding myself with people who support me on this journey.

I'm sorry you are going through the same thing, I know it sucks.

[lorri716 256]

Thank you all for your support. I will confront her this weekend.