I I don't even know how to start this. I've always been afraid to try new things for fear of failure, so I just stay stagnant wherever I am at. I think this is in part the reason why I have steadily gained weight. After I dropped out of college 5 years ago , I just stopped caring. I once fasted on just water for a week straight because I wanted to re-set my body. Now I can't even stick to a diet and exercise program, but I know the discipline is somewhere in me. I have Blue Shield of CA and I've gone through my appointments. I am just waiting so I can complete a year at work and qualify for FMLA. Where my negativity comes into play is now I'm getting worried because I keep playing all these scenarios in my head. What if the insurance doesn't approve me? What if they find something wrong with me once they're doing the procedure and I wake up still with no WLS? I think I need a therapist but I'm not sure. Then I think about how good I'll feel and look once I get it done. I'm 5'1 and weight 270, I need to do this. Any advice would be greatly appreciated and thanks to those who read this.

Edited October 24, 201510 yr by jescoto86

Okay so I haven't had the exact same concerns but trust me I've had them. For me it is was the hair loss (because I already have permanent hair loss), complications, and what if I become disabled and cant work because I support myself. I could not live on disability with my bills! So I just had to talk to myself and what i said to myself was GET THE HELL OVER IT! I can no longer live like this anymore. It has taken a toll on me physically, emotionally and financially. I know what my life will be like if I don't do this. If I do, maybe I'll have complications, maybe not. It's a risk I'm willing to take so I can have a better life.

If you review the requirements of your insurance, you shouldn't be denied and even if you are, you can appeal. The surgeons office can help you with all that stuff. I've never known anyone who didn't lose weight because the surgeon found something wrong during surgery. You will likely have a lot of testing before surgery anyway.

Lastly, you hit the nail on the head so to speak...find a therapist to help you work through this.

@@jescoto86 I know in South Dakota they send you to a therapist before they send into insurance for approval. Try giving yourself positive affirmations instead of focusing on stinking thinking. I'm here for you if you need someone one to talk to. This is a great group and everyone here has been a great support. You can do this.

You are definately letting your fears get the best of you. The good news is that those fears are normal. We all had them.

I learned that I really needed to reverse them. For example what will happen if you do nothing at this point? You will continue to gain weight most likely and if you don't already have comorbitities, you will develop them. I know, I did it. I waited and waited and waited.

By the time I realized me fear was the problem I developed high blood pressure. High cholesterol, severe Gerd, sleep apnea and worst of all stage 3 kidney disease. All of this from waiting too long.

I tried diet after diet to lose hundreds of pounds over the years only to gain it all back and then some. I had my metabolism so screwed up that finally I could no longer lose weight at all.

I ruined my joints, especially my spine and that cannot be reversed.

I did however cure my diabetes, Gerd, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, sleep apnea and got my kidney disease into remission in a matter of months post op.

Don't let your fears stop you! Use them to move forward. Go see a psychologist that specializes in obesity. They can help.

Good luck and keep us posted!

. I've always been afraid to try new things for fear of failure,. I once fasted on just Water for a week straight because I wanted to re-set my body. Now I can't even stick to a diet and exercise program, but I know the discipline is somewhere in me. Where my negativity comes into play is now I'm getting worried because I keep playing all these scenarios in my head. What if What if I think I need a therapist but I'm not sure.

I know quite well what you're talking about. Despite and because of that, I shall not coddle you. Digging for some reality seems more the thing.

The common wisdom is that people don't fear failure; we don't fear the familiar. It's fear of the unfamiliar that makes us break out in hives. What do you think the unfamiliar might be in context of what you've said?

A week's fast on water? That's not too masochistic. What does it mean to "re-set my body?" It sounds like an orthopedics procedure.

If you can't stick to a diet and exercise program, it's likely that you're not ready for surgery. The procedure isn't magic. Losing and maintaining weight loss is a matter of your doing the work. If during the psych eval you tell the psychologist that you can't stick to a program and want to rely on surgery for a cure, you will not be approved. A major part of getting approval is being able to say truthfully that you understand that. There is no magic in weight loss. Never make that mistake. You'll go through surgery and remain as you are or perhaps even continue to gain weight. Approval depends in large part in demonstrating that you're expectations are realistic and that you are capable of understanding and following doctor's/RD's/NP's and whomever else's instructions.

"What if,"what if," "what if." Waste of time. Anxiety will see you locking yourself into a closet. One thing at a time. Tormenting yourself is not permitted on my watch.

Do you really think you need a therapist? Why ever would you say such a thing? From my perspective and my own experience, I'll venture a guess that you sure do. There, too, the work is yours to do. The benefit can be invaluable in helping you sort out lots of things that need sorting out, the emotional and psychological as well as the pragmatic.

Try sitting down with paper and pen. Real paper and pen, which I think will connect you more closely to the task. The task is to write down what you want. Not what you think you need or what you think you "have" to do. With very few exceptions, no one "needs to" anything. What matters is what one "wants to (fill in the blank)." Really wants.

Make a list of what you want in broad terms, not only about losing weight.

Then work on a list of all the reasons you want to lose weight and other goals. Keep them very specific. Example: "I want to be healthy" is far an excellent reason, but too broad for this exercise. Break it down into what you want to change, listing each health concern separately. You'll learn more, e.g., your values, priorities, et al., about yourself that you may have known. Lots of good information to have. Start by writing the things that come to mind immediately. You don't have to sit for hours until you think you have a complete list. Add things as they occur to you.

You'll keep those lists because, when you do begin your journey, you'll still use them. As you accomplish each goal, you'll check it off. As new goals and desires occur, you'll add them to the list. Nothing is to unimportant or silly to go on the list. In fact, those things that seem small (and, when it comes to making changes, none is small) may be the first you accomplish. Seeing the check marks is a source of energy to stay with it.

Bear with me. I don't have time to be brief. I hope I've helped.

Thank you to everyone who answered. I needed to take a break from this whole surgery because it was driving me a bit insane. I'm back and cool as a cucumber and feeling ready for this change.

i have simalar stats to you i am 5'3'' and about 275 right now and even though sometimes i have the thoughts your having i know that with out a doubt i need this and its time to do something for me. i have severe sleep apnea and i really want to get rid of my cpap machine.

Do you have a date yet?