Trying to get my head straight. Input requested :)
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Hey everybody, I'm feeling kind of down lately, and I'm wondering if anyone else went through this and what got them through. I just hit my 5 month mark on Monday. My highest weight ever was 331, the day of surgery I was 281, and I'm now 201. I've been a strict rule follower, Protein, chewing, separating food and fluids, exercising every day, etc. I got a lot of milage out of these first months out of surgery. However, the last week or two there have been a handful of days that I didn't hit the 64 oz Fluid goal, and I have missed some Vitamins as well. Because I'm on thyroid medicine, I have to take that in the morning, then Calcium in the afternoon, and finally my Iron multi before bed. The toughest one for me to remember is the calcium because it's at work and things get so hectic during the day. I'm really good with the other two.
Anyway, there are a couple of things that are going on with me I think and I just want to see what you guys have to say about how to move through any of these. Not always following all the rules by missing a couple glasses of Water or missing a Vitamin dose makes me feel like I'm slipping. I hate that feeling. It's a scary feeling because it feels like a short step to my old 'all or nothing' type of thinking. I hope that I can deal with this and stop that kind of thinking (I honestly don't see myself just giving up and eating junk or anything), but it does really bug me when I didn't do everything right for the day.
Second, things have started to slow down. I was hitting at least 15 pounds a month for the first 4 months, and this month I hit 13. I know that's awesome, but it really disappointed me when I didn't make the goal I set for myself this month. It's also not helping that I'm hanging out right above a major accomplishment of hitting the 100's. It feels soooooo slow.
I sometimes feel fat, which is not how I expected to feel after losing 130 pounds. Don't get me wrong, I often feel great about how I look comparatively and there are many things which are so much improved and easier (like today I sat in the backseat of a car with two co-workers without worrying if I was encroaching on someone else's space, yay!). I don't really get why I have this new body criticism, when I made the best of what I looked like before. I was telling my husband how I was feeling last night, but he did not get it. He asked if I was re-gaining weight and when I said I was still losing I don't think he understood or knew what to say because the conversation just dropped. Maybe it's a girl thing, I don't know. I figured if anybody would understand my bariatricpals would.
Well, this turned long really quickly. If you have any insight or want to tell me what helped you through any of these things, please tell me. Is this down feeling just a phase? Right now things are crazy busy at work with the end of the school year coming up. I just want to keep going and keep losing until I get to goal in 61 pounds
TIA!