I need to throw this out there now that I've calmed down. My BFF was sleeved four years ago and has been a big help in this journey but I'm a lil over week out and she just blasted me for a bite of french fry and a taste of sugar free fudge. She's sad that I'm even thinking of eating a food like that, i should be just drinking water, i never should have gone near the the boardwalk and I'm just not gonna make it.

Now while she runs marathons and works out, this is from the girl who's eating ice cream and donuts, cake, and more. She's up 10lbs from her goal weight and angry with people that can eat what they want. She's also drinking every night.

She's a "tough" personality anyway but this was shocking. I think she's jealous of my "easy" honeymoon stage, needs to cope with her anger about food, in a possible danger zone with alcohol and it just spewed all over my feeling great.

I'd like feedback on how to deal. I've let go of my pissed off attitude. It's my journey to test limits, to fall down, to get up but i really felt judged. I won't talk to her about any challenges anymore. I'll use the forums here (which she had said i should get off of).

Thanks for letting me vent

Print this out and give it to her. Tell her you're concerned about her but that you also need her support. If she can't give that to you, give yourself some distance.

Good luck to you!

That's a hard situation. I don't have any advice, but, you're on here, and I know ice fallen a few times, I'm 6 months out. It's not easy at all..just hang in there with the temptations. Maybe just don't tell her as much as you have been.Im here too, for reasons like that as well.

I think that she is struggling and doesn't want to see you slipping so soon into this. She is projecting.

Her approach probably wasn't effective, but she has a point. Maybe consider she actually has your best interest at heart. Or just give it back to her - if she can dish it out, she should be able to take it.

She does care about my best interest and i love her to pieces but shredding me wasn't effective. She's tough love and I get it, that's why I didn't fling it back at her. Instead i chose to continue feeling as wonderful about my journey and myself.

You are doing right to not give away your power to her, but I would suggest holding off social circumstances as much as possible until you are a little further along, or at least on regular foods. It is a lot easier to control your food in your own environment.

...but I would suggest holding off social circumstances as much as possible until you are a little further along...

Mmmmm ....no.... I did better going out more. I knew I couldn't eat, so I didn't. I really needed to relearn better habits right away and for me, social events were a huge obstacle. Turned out, they were quite easy. I spent much more time talking to everyone so I didn't feel the need to eat.

Yeah I'm single, involved with animal advocacy, very social. My family eats out half the time. I had to just suck it up and figure what works. I'm doing good and scale is still moving. 17lbs in ten days. I know it will stall soon but I'm loving it right now.

Eating out was a bit rough at first because I didn't tell most people about my surgery. I usually just said that I had a big (previous meal), I wasn't hungry, my stomach felt unsettled, etc. All true, just not for the usual reasons.

It's your life, but a week out does seem awfully early for French fries. Just from a healing standpoint. I was still on liquids only at that stage.

Well discovered that acid in my stomach was mimicking hunger so a couple days on Prilosec totally pulled that back under control. Great weight loss first 8 days then bam, dead stop. Really? I expected that at 3 weeks but not this soon. Getting about 60-70g protein, 50-65oz water. Walking alot in shopping mode and up and down stairs alot. Going out to do some light yard work today. Hoping it kick starts again because my mind is already saying great this won't work for me either. I know you all can't be wrong though.

If you are a little over a week out from surgery and already hitting the french fries and hot fudge .... your friend isn't "projecting". She's trying to nip things in the bud and help you out.

When you are six months out and want to eat two french fries as an occasional treat, you will be able to handle it.

Right now you are just continuing the bad habits that got you to the point where you needed surgery to begin with.

One french fry and a fingernail of sugar free fudge. Turns out alot of it was acid burning my stomach making me constantly hungry.

One french fry and a fingernail of sugar free fudge. Turns out alot of it was acid burning my stomach making me constantly hungry.

And the point is flying right over your head.

I too had post-surgical acid and turned to my surgeon .... who prescribed Omeprazole, not french fries and hot fudge.

Your friend has been there and done that already. She has hit goal and knows where the slippery slopes are. She's not jealous. She's fully aware that the pounds come off with no effort on your part at this point. She's been there already.

You are free to do what you want, and if you think making excuses for french fries at a week out from surgery is the way to go ... have at it.

I agree with your friend. You are setting yourself up. You could have had more Water instead.

What you are doing in the first few months after surgery is setting up your new lifestyle for the rest of your life.

Most of us work our little treats into our life. I worked out extra at the gym today (and will every day this week) so I could "bank" for something special this weekend. It's not a bad thing in and of itself. What is bad is the food choices and the fact that it was so soon after surgery. You are setting yourself up for trouble.

What you fail to realize is I'd given it up for 6 months prior, struggling with the acid and the doubts and the boardwalk and the social situations. Now I'm on Prilosec and the problem has resolved itself. If your quick judgement is correct then a year from now you can say I told you so if I fail. I doubt you will.