My surgery is at 9:30 on June 5th... I am already counting down the hours. I can't sleep because my mind is racing about how everything is going to change. And then I keep worrying about the bad things... Like what if something goes wrong. What if I don't make it? I am a self pay so what if there are complications that I can't afford? What if I didn't shrink my liver down enough?

I also have not told anyone except my immediate family and a few friends. So I am very worried about what people will think when they do find out. I am just really anxious right now. I suppose that is normal. I just hope I am making the right decision.

Hang in there, Abby, this is totally normal. Remember why you're doing this and what brought you to your decision. You can do this.

Abby, I was self pay too. I also wondered if I was going to make it. If I DIDN'T have the surgery I was not going to make it either, not a matter of if, but when. I also worried about complications. I am doing so good as of today down 40.5 pounds!!!! That means 9.5 more and I am down 50 pounds!!!!!!! I cant hardly believe it myself!!! You have to do what is right for you and being healthy is right for you!!!! Just know that you are not alone and that all of the band team has had the same thoughts and worries as you are having. Just remember to follow the band rules. This is very important!!! I think a lot of people don't follow the rules and expect to see results and then think the band didn't work. You still have to work damn hard daily to make the right choices, the band just makes it a bit easier to make the right choices. I have lost my weight without a fill also. I do a lot of cardio, seven days a week for at least 45 minutes, sometimes longer if biking. I have added strength training in as of last week and am feeling like a new woman. In fact, I don't feel like I should be fat. I feel like a skinny person in a fat suit. Hang in there. You will do fine and be so glad you did this!! Deanna