Good Morning Everyone,

I am starting my journey at a clinic where I am from and I keep going back on forth on whether or not I want to go ahead and get the surgery. Let me preface all of this by saying that as of right now I do not have any underlying health issues other than being fat - like 324 pounds fat. I don't have diabetes, high blood pressure, or any of the other weight related illnesses that I am just waiting to pop up. Also, I am a single mom of two fantastic teenage boys and it has been just us for 10 years. Their dad is around but doesn't really give a crap and so I am really the only stable thing they have in their lives as grand parents aren't really around either.

Okay so with all of that being said I am having a really hard time deciding whether going ahead with surgery and risking death is completely selfish of me. I am absolutely no confidence whatsoever and feel like I am just a bystander in my own life. I want this surgery so bad so that I can be the person that I feel like I am on the inside but if God forbid something were to happen to me I can't imagine what would happen to my poor boys. I keep beating myself up wondering why I can't just get my crap together and do this on my own but I have tried over and over and only seem to fail and end up making this worse for myself.

I really need some guidance and insight from people who have been through this process. I have lived the past two years dreaming of this but just want to make the right decision for my kids because at the end of the day I live my life for them.

@@canadian_girl

No need to beat yourself up thinking you can do this on you're own. Many of us have dieted, lost weight and regained. For me loosing on my own was not realistic. ( tried it over and over)

Living for you're kid's. I think you said it all in that statement. I don't believe risking death is selfish of you. You need to be in you're children's life for the long run. You're kids will get so much back by learning from you're example of what a healthy lifestyle is. They will be so elated to see you happy in you're life and in theirs. (what is selfish about that? )

No complications from obesity now. But how long until you start having more health issues?

Enjoy researching surgery options. I hope you find the answers you are looking for.

Hi CG,

I understand where you are because I, like you, had no issues other than my weight. I prayed about it until I got peace with moving ahead with the knowledge I had on this procedure. At 16 days out it has all worked out for me in what was essentially a faith move!

I had similiar fears myself. Had my surgery 2/4 and it all went very well. My two teen boys were a tremendous help that first rough week of recovery. I thought of it this way, yes there are risks but staying heavy could kill us as well. I want to be around to be not only a good mom but god willing a good grandma as well and that outweighed the surgery risk for me in the end. Good Luck!

Many people have the same argument with themselves that you are having with yourself. Bottom line is this though....while there are plenty of risks associate with the surgery and things that might happen, very few of them are as bad or as likely as all the risks associated with being overweight. I didn't have any health problems either, other than being fat. But I was starting to feel it. Starting to feel the wear on my body and I started thinking about how I would feel in ten years. It was not a happy thought. You say you have two teenage sons, so presumably you may end up with grandkids one day. Consider how you physically feel now, add ten years. How do you think you will feel then if you don't make a change?

We all tried many diets, and we ended up here because they didn't work or we didn't work for one reason or another. Taking this risk isn't selfish. It's a huge step to take to ensure you are there for your family in the future.

as mentioned above, enjoy your research and make the decision that you feel is right. The risks associated with being overweight are far worse than the risks with the surgery. Diabetes, heart disease, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, amputations from diabetes complications, etc.

Good Luck on your journey. I hope you find the path that is right for you.

If it's of any reassurance, the mortality rate for gastric sleeve is lower than knee replacement. Do deaths happen? Rarely. But, as you said, you have no other underlying health issues, so you are very low risk.

The way I thought of it was I want to be around for my kids for a long time. I didn't have any current weight related co-morbidities either. But with my family history it was a given that k would develop a lot of them in the future. So I decided for myself that I wanted to be healthy and happy. And I am. I've lost 105 lbs. Size 6 pants. I have energy to do fun things with my kids. We have gone paint balling, skiing and we are going to the wall climbing center this week. I'm so glad I made the decision I did. You have to decide what is important to you and what you are willing and able to do to get there. Best wishes.

I was in your place. But the weight was starting to catch up to me. I had been this heavy in the past, and functioned quite well. But this time around at 51, it wasn't so pretty. I felt like I was lumbering with every move I made. I was VERY uncomfortable in my skin. Then I thought, I don't have diabetes now, but I am just down the road from it. I don't have heart disease now, but it was lurking around the corner. These possible medical issues scared the crap out of me. Look down the road and see if you can invision an end to these probabilities without surgery. I know I couldn't. Best of luck with your decision. BTW, you aren't crazy until you are diagnosed. As one of my second graders said "Mrs. G, did you know there is a pill for that?"