One of the things that the class I am taking requires is that I document my journey daily in some way. They of course suggest that I write, but others have video rerecorded what was going on. I've decided to do this. First of all I hate my hand writing and secondly keeping it on my PC allows me to make changes in my history. I want to capture the raw emotion of what I am feeling without being able to process through it at a later date and then altering the history in any way. I think I've made a good start at doing so that in my first entry. Please put up any editing, grammar, or spelling mistakes I might make and PLEASE feel free to respond if you want to. I need your help, rather it be encouragement or criticism. So here it goes.

Yesterday I start my first day of real exercise. I used my stationary bike and rode for 6 minutes after Breakfast and lunch. This excited me as I actually followed through to some degree. I had actually planned to start this weeks ago and my plan was to ride for 30 minutes. But I must focus on the small steps. It taken me years to get where I am at, how can I expect to start at anywhere near a medium level on my first day!

I think fear of the failure to reach a high level or medium level is what kept me from trying earlier. I need to lose this fear if I am to walk through this journey. As I look back at my past, this has been the reason that I have failed so many diets. This is the reason I've quit almost everything in my life. I am a classic underachiever, if I can't do it perfectly it's not worth doing and I quit.

Today I will change that and I will try to meet yesterday's "achievement". I will try to do that 3rd period of exercise after dinner and I will not look at it as a defeat if a should not. Each day I will sets reasonable goals for myself. I will give myself positive message as much as possible. I will forgive myself and try again when I fail. These are things that I had learned to do when I first got sober 33 years ago. How the have I forgotten them!

Today is a new day and I pray that I will make the changes that I need to prolong my life.

Donald0717, your story sounds a great deal like mine...I don't think it's appropriate for me to get into the dirty details, because this is about you and your upcoming success!! Just know that you CAN definitely do this!!!

I guess at first here I have no choice but to make a few assumptions...I'm guessing since you're posting in the Gastric Sleeve forum that you're preparing for the sleeve surgery. I'm also guessing that you have just started the process and have initially started the visits with the surgeons, nutritionist and such. If so, congratulations on taking the first step!!! As with just about all of us, there will be a few ups and downs, but believe me when I tell you that it's all worth it in the end!!! We're here to encourage, educate, and share experiences with you along the way!!!

Much success...you can do this!!!