So today my mom tells me that my dad is afraid to have the surgery. He won't tell me because he knows I'm gonna do what I feel is best for me. He's never been one to tell me how he really feels about things because he respects my ability to make my own decision.

Has anyone ever had this problem? What do you say to someone who cares so much about you and will support you no matter what to help them know that it's gonna be fine? I think he's afraid because we know some people who had bypass and had a lot of problems after....almost died kind of problems.

My Mom was the one who was showing her worry the most. My Aunt was telling horror stories about people who had weight loss stories. I remained calm, positive and committed to my decision every time I talked to her. It didn't help that after the surgery I ended up back in the hospital with internal bleeding. She wasn't satisfied I was fine and health until I was able to travel and let her see me in person. Now she's ok but I'm sure she would not of let me do it if it was her decision.

My mom is all for it. My dad is never really sick and can't stand the thought of any of us having surgery. Especially not by choice. He had issues when I had a c section. Plus I'm kind of daddy's girl (at 32 ????)

My mom was concerned when I first told her my intention to have surgery. Then I took her to the support group run by my program. When she saw how much support and help was available she changed her tune and was very supportive. There's a real risk to having any surgery but for many of us there's an equal risk to not have it.

My Dad and husband had concerns as well, but once I explained the risks to them and told them how the risks of surgery were very minimal compared to the health risks I would face for the rest of my life if I didn't do it, they understood!

Maybe try that approach and see how it goes.

My husband works in a surgery center & fully understands surgery & the risks but when it came to me doing this he was ill at ease. But after he & I talked about it & why I wanted/needed to do something about my weight he was still worried about me personally but not the surgery.

I think those who really love us get nervous about something as major as this & hearing him & his fears out will likely lead to a really good conversation.

I'm a Daddy's Girl still at 39. I get what you're saying. And I have two suggestions. One, approach him and talk to him about it. Just the two of you, alone. Remind him you love him and you're more than happy to help him through the process is he needs it. And he will. Tell him you want your future kids to know their Grandpa. And two, this is the hard one. Just love him. Accept his choice if he says he doesn't want it. Don't push him into something he might regret. The surgery is great, but it's not for everyone. Even if we want it to be. Love him no matter his weight as he has obviously loved you very much. Be the light in his darkness. It sounds like he's having a hard time and us Daddy's Girls can light them up like no other person can. Just love him.

I'm a Daddy's Girl still at 39. I get what you're saying. And I have two suggestions. One, approach him and talk to him about it. Just the two of you, alone. Remind him you love him and you're more than happy to help him through the process is he needs it. And he will. Tell him you want your future kids to know their Grandpa. And two, this is the hard one. Just love him. Accept his choice if he says he doesn't want it. Don't push him into something he might regret. The surgery is great, but it's not for everyone. Even if we want it to be. Love him no matter his weight as he has obviously loved you very much. Be the light in his darkness. It sounds like he's having a hard time and us Daddy's Girls can light them up like no other person can. Just love him.

I'm having the surgery, not my dad. He's afraid for me going under the knife.