this morning i start my pre-op liquid diet. my surgeon requires 4 days only.

last night i had a very emotional evening. it's finally here! it's the moment i've been thinking about for over a year now -- the moment when i end my toxic relationship with food.

the months leading up to this have prepared me in every way to make this break, and yet i had some somber, tear-filled times throughout the night. i realize that, in time, i will be able to eat anything i want to again, albeit in tiny quantities... but never again will i gorge mindlessly to give myself pleasure, to assuage negative emotions, to fill empty hours. no more will the most constant and dependable "friend" be able to numb me from feeling and dealing with life. i'm giving up the temporary good feelings that food gave me, because they were temporary, and masked the damage that overeating caused to my health and well being. goodbye, my life-long toxic friend! i happily kick you out the door and slam it behind you!

i had my food funerals in the last few weeks, and found them surprisingly very unsatisfying. none of my favorites gave me the same thrill or momentary sense of peace that i had always counted on before. i just wasn't that into what i was eating. and my new habits of eating slower and consciously made it difficult and even unpleasant to finish the food in front of me. i felt simultaneously pleased at the progress i've made, knowing that the gradual changes to my diet have caused my tastes to change, and saddened, as i would feel at the loss of a friend.

right now, all i feel is happiness. i'm so proud to have found the strength to go through this difficult process. i've got my eyes firmly fixed on the prize at the end of the journey -- getting off of blood pressure and cholesterol medications, regaining the ability to be physically active, enjoying getting dressed in the funky outfits i prefer, keeping up with the wonderfully supportive man in my life, frolicking with the grandchildren i expect my daughter will provide me, traveling freely and comfortably around the world, and finally gaining some semblance of control over the one area of my life that has always confounded me in the past.

i've followed so many of you closely through your own journeys, and it has helped me tremendously. i'm ready. i really am! thank you for sharing your experiences. i plan on doing the same.

i'm counting the hours until 7:45 am EST on 11/18/14. i am so going to rock my sleeve!

jessiquoi,

Very well stated. Yes, your life will change for the BETTER!

I'm constantly amazed how much better I feel and how much more I move around than I did before surgery.

I hope you have an uneventful surgery and quick easy recovery.

I think it's fantastic that you are ahead of the game by realizing your current relationship with food is toxic.

Blessings,

Kathleen

Oh,what a wonderful attitude to have. I too am in the process of saying goodbye to my toxic relationship with food. I can totally relate to what you are saying. I don't have a date yet, but like you I am already focusing on the new life I will be leading. I too intend to ROCK my sleeve! Congratulations and best wishes for your surgery and recovery!