I am exactly one month to the day away from my Gastric sleeve surgery. This Thursday I finish my pre-surgery testing including the full bloodwork, venous doppler scan, and my last appt with my nutritionist. Friday is my clearance appt with my general Dr.

But now that I'm nearing the end of this initial journey toward surgery - when does the stress become too much to handle?

Friday, Saturday and Sunday (following my clearance), I will be moving into my new apartment. That, on top of this crazy/stupid full time job I have (crazy doesn't even begin to describe it.... a hotel with hookers, drunken idiots for 4 days, and a schizo welfare woman who thinks every black male who works in the hotel is out to get her, is just the icing on the cake), my daughter in foster care with my parents (so my direct support and encouragement is a step back because of the situation), constant drs and court dates and visitation days, and whatever else has to be done in preparation for my surgery and time out of work..... I'm just feeling massive amounts of stress. At a few points during the journey, I questioned if it was all worth it. Is it worth the time and effort? Will it be worth feeling crummy for a few weeks? Will it be worth not being able to hold and carry and change my daughter for a few weeks? Will it be worth the time from work? Is there not ENOUGH going on that I needed yet another major event in my life right now?

Then I remember the pain in my feet from working at a hotel for 4 days straight. And then the throbbing in my back from holding my 27 lb beauty. And then the rough sleep from not being able to breathe at night, or the difficulty of carrying a box up 2 flights of stairs and feeling light headed when I get there. The memory of Dorney Park with my daughter over the summer still burns - being told my the ride attendant that I can't stay on the teacups with my 1 1/2 year old if I can't get the stupid seat belt on. And then I kneel down at night to give her a bath, and I get shooting pain in both of my knees from all of the weight.....

So is it worth it? I think so. I think if I was able to maneuver the other things in life a little better, I wouldn't find this time to be so rough. I think if I could figure out how to even out all the other random difficult things, this event and journey wouldn't be as difficult. It actually is the only thing that is a piece of cake (absolutely no puns intended on that one) out of all the insanity that rules my life. And it's for her. And it's for me. When will doing something for me and something that will make me happy in the long run be my main goal?

This is my time. This is my time to shine and make things a little easier. Just need to get past all the fluff.

You are so right, and you are absolutely doing the best thing. You're going to have to face all that emotional and physical stress whether or not you have the surgery anyway. This way at least you'll be more physically able to weather it. Your daughter needs you now more that ever and you owe it her and most importantly to yourself to be the best you can be.

Right now I think it's normal to lump in all your current woes in with the surgery, but in fact, the surgery should be firmly on the pro side as far as changing your life for the better. Sure there's a lot of sacrificing you have to make to get there, but in the end I think you'll agree wholeheartedly that it was all for the best. I'm pre-op like you, and I can't imagine these people who have come out the other side saying it's the best thing they ever did can all be wrong.

So take a deep breath, hug your little one extra tight, and never forget the reasons why you chose this path in the first place. Best of luck to you!

Oh boy, do I understand! I decided to do this in the middle of a foreclosure (which is coming to a head right about the day of surgery), I just moved, and I'm working full time AND just went back to school full time. I've questioned my own sanity at thinking NOW is the right time to do this.

I've had this discussion with my therapist, and she made a great point. No matter how much stuff is happening, no matter how much someone is going through, good health helps. Realistically there's never going to be a perfect moment to take a time out and do something major for ourselves, so we've just got to prioritize it and bulldoze through!

Good luck to you

Thanks ladies... jsut one of those too much stress days, if ya know what I mean hahaha

lot of great comments and thoughts here

one thing I JUST started doing is yoga/meditation...as I live in a constant state of anxiety (medication helps)... and am amazed how much giving myself that time each day is helping... not saying it's for everyone, but yoga is good for all of us to keep those joints moving and making us more fit ... I am looking foward to my next class... and learning how to manage life better...

good luck to you all... it's absolutely the best decision I've ever made (to have the surgery) I wish I had done it YEARS ago!

When does it all become too much to handle? When you decide to give up. That's when. You have so much going on right now. The job, wow, much respect! But the first thing I get from your post is your commitment and devotion to your sweet baby. The next is your commitment to yourself. So good for you love. You are handling it. Stay as focused as you seem to be right now, and congrats on the new apt. All that stress.....take some time several times a day to just BREATHE, then keep going. You can so do this thing call life. Best