I've been on Bariatric Pal for a few months now and I'm a week away from surgery. I've read countless posts around fears about surgery, complications, losing hair, loose skin but my biggest fear is something that I rarely see mentioned.

What if I fail at this too? Does anyone else worry about that or just me? I did okay going through an 8 week pre-op diet/skills class and lost around 15 pounds. But as soon as my 2 week pre-op diet started, I have lost my mind and haven't been able to stick to it. Which leads me to wonder if the same thing will happen afterwards. I really want to be successful but knowing that soon I won't be able to eat make me feel compelled to eat while I can. It probably doesn't help that my doctor's office told us that we have already shrunk our liver with the weight loss we have already had and they only expect us to lose another 2 lbs on the pre-op diet. I took that as permission to eat three meals a day versus 1 meal and 2 shakes a day.

My sleeve surgery was December 2011, I went from 308 to my goal of 158 in 14 months. I have been maintaining and currently weigh about 140-145. Even after all this time, fear of failing again remains my #1 concern.

The thing is that weight management is not like a single shot to the moon...goal is a somewhat arbitrary milestone...there is no end to this thin g. The way you maintain is more or less the same way you lose weight. The point I am trying to make is that everyday you just make the best choices you can for the stage you are at, you are not going to be perfect. The people who are most successful are persistent,learn from the mistakes and just keep on doing it. What other choice do we have? Oh yeah, I could weigh over 300#, be aged before my time, risk early death with a side trip through disability....

You are wise to explore this topic now because it is easy to get sucked into old"all or nothing" thinking about healthy eating. On a diet or off a diet...No...it isn't like that. Every day, the food choices you make is your "diet" and it is either one that supports or contradicts good health.

Believe it's possible to improve your health, manage your obesity and live a healthier life but your fears are valid and I think missmac hit it on the head to view it as a fight for your life....(hopefully without becoming a nutcase over it..Haha)

I am treating this journey exactly like MissMac and Cowgirljane describe it. I know it requires courage, hard work, persistence, willingness to experiment and to fail and then to stand up again and do it all over again tomorrow.

I'm 68 years old. In the year and a half prior to WLS, my world shrunk far too much and too fast. I glimpsed what my husband's and my retirement life would be like because of my obesity, and it was so much less than either of us wanted or deserved.

WLS is a great gift, an advantage NONE of us have had until now. Prior to WLS, I never had a 50% chance to defeat my obesity. I had only a 2% chance that the weight I lost on "the next diet" would never return and not bring 20 or 30 extra pounds along with it. I know the value of WLS because hundreds of people on this forum have lost all their excess weight, kept it off and are living better lives than they otherwise would have had. That's what I want for myself.

Admitting we feel vulnerable, being honest about our feelings is important. But when our vulnerability turns into habitual self-talk and becomes our mental mantra it will sabotage us.

That's why I have chosen not to be afraid of this opportunity. I choose not to be miserable and fearful. I choose to be full of hope and gratitude for this new chance I've been given to create my health and happiness.

Edited September 18, 201411 yr by VSGAnn2014

@@Miss Mac wonderful post. great thread too!

In a way, weight loss surgery is like stepping off a cliff. You can take the step and not know where you are going to land. You can back away and stay on land and stick with what you know and how you are. Now if you take the step, what happens afterward. Do you like a bird, soar into the air, or like Wyle E Coyote, fall to the ground? The result is not pre-determined. You can be the bird or be the coyote.

Funny thing for me, after this surgery, I grew more and more agitated with my job. I tolerated it. But I certainly did not like it. Most days I would come home and be miserable. Often times customers would make me go to the bathroom and have a cry. A few months after my surgery, I ended up putting in my notice and quitting. So now I am between jobs. But I feel so much better emotionally. That job was slowing killing me. My weight was also slowly killing me. Diabetes was out of control. Blood pressure was high. Everything hurt. I had to take the step off the cliff. I'm 100 lbs less than my highest weight. I can fit into a 14 top now. I've never been this small as an adult. But every day I wonder if I will be a success at this. The same parallel is happening to me professionally. Will I find another job? Will it be something I like? Am I going to fail at finding a job?

So in a way, I've got two things happening in my life that are evoking similar feelings. All I can do is to do my very best. And I don't know if I am the roadrunner or if I am Wyle E. Coyote, but either way, I had to try.

I attend the first seminar in two days, and I am terrified of failing before I've even started! I've failed before on every diet, lifestyle change, or whatever we call it. I tried to get the surgery approved several times over the past few years, but ran into insurance issues. Now I have Medicare with an Advantage plan, and the first obstacle is overcome before I even start the process! I am excited, but terrified that I will fail, too! I have a very specific goal in mind this time. i can't have spinal repair surgery until I lose 100 pounds. I had to quit a job I loved and go on disability in my early fifties, and now at 57, I can only walk a very short distance. I had to get a manual wheelchair, and my independence is disappearing day by day. YOU can stick with this if you understand how many great, amazing, wonderful years you have ahead of you with good health! I hope all the beautiful advice that the others posted above will get you past the fear! Praying that you have a great success!