I HAVE TO VENT (and rant a little)!!!

:think I am going through the clothes in my closet and all of a sudden I started to cry....OMG! I have all of these clothes in there, that I wore before and now I can't fit into them...Before I made my decision to have the lap band, I knew that there were clothes in my closet that I couldn't wear anymore, but NEVER in my wildest imagination did I know that it was mostly ALL of my clothes. I don't know, maybe I am a little depressed in how I have let myself go...I lost 45lbs in 2001 by using Xenical - what do you know, I gained it all back and then some. I went from a size 18 down to a 10-12 and now I am up to a size 20!!!

OMG!! :angry I have tried so many diets, I could become the "Fourth Fat Chick on a diet"!!! Am I feeling just a little sorry for myself? I was feeling a little amourous yesterday, called my hubby...know what he told me...? I'll call you when I need you.... Don't I feel like a sack of #$&@ !

I am hoping that by this time next year I won't need these few BIG GIRL clothes that I have now... I have my 1st Lap Band Class on 4/30/07....do they let you attend these classes if you aren't approved by your insurance for the surgery?

Is this required before you get approval? OMG!! Can I wait 2-3 months?

THIS IS NOT GOING FAST ENOUGH FOR ME!!!!!!!!

I found a old friend of mine that I have been looking for for about 8yrs. I found her on myspace... She looks GREAT!!! When we were in high school, she was the larger of the two of us...looking at her pictures now...that made me cry even harder!!! I have been afraid to email her for fear of rejection. I hurt her feelings so very long ago. I apologized half heartedly back then, but it has still been in my heart...I miss her friendship. She always knew how to make me laugh. She was there when my boyfriend and I broke up (crushed me), she was there when I went crazy about it...she was there when my sister and I had our major falling out. But because of being pregnant, single and an all aroung #$#%head, I said something (can't really remember what they were now), I lost our friendship. That has been 12yrs ago. My sister looked her number up for me...but the fear of rejection still weighs on my mind... I suppose that I should just suck it up and call.....maybe I will..........just need the kahoonas!!

If I were you, I'd hold on to some of those clothes. When the pounds start dropping, it's exciting to see those clothes fitting you again. It feels even better when your old clothes become too big!!! You took a step in the right direction, hang in there.

thank you for listening....I decided to put those clothes undermy bed for safe keeping...I guess I was just a little on the down side this morning when I got up this morning...I am feeling much better now. The cry really helped me.

so do you have the class if you aren't approved for surgery yet?

I don't know what class it is, but they shouldn't care if you're approved or not if you're wanting to go learn info. Whether it will count toward your doctor's requirements (if they have one) to go to a class, would be another question.

How are you feeling? Do you have much pain? I will keep thinking about you and your progress...you are so lucky to have the surgery hurdle behind you....

Take care...

It sounds as though you are having a very painful day, perry, and that your sense of self esteem has been knocked into the toilet. First of all you found your thin clothes, then your husband was dismissive of your sexual advances, and you have complicated feelings towards a former friend whom you disrespected at one time but who also used to be less attractive than you at the time when you were friends.

Most of us have had days like this and days like this sure do hurt big time! You have a right to feel down. But libra is right; once you are banded and on track with the band you will lose weight and those thin clothes will fit just fine until they become too big.

Your feelings towards your high school friend are probably more complicated. My hunch is that you feel guilt because you hurt her, grief because you miss her friendship, and maybe a little jealousy because she seems to have weathered the years better than you feel that you have. Well, first of all, you should remember that we all post our best photos on-line, eh. And you should also remember that you are feeling depressed and full of self-loathing at the moment - of course everyone and their grandmother is gonna look better than ever to you when you yourself are feeling depressed.

As for your husband, there are a number of reasons for his response which will have nothing to do with either his love for you or his feeling of sexual attraction to you. The most likely is that he had his mind on other, more pressing matters. Every woman gets turned down when she asks at the wrong time.

Try to cheer up, Perry. Write to your friend and talk to her in the same way that you have talked to us today. If she doesn't want to renew the friendship, then it will become her loss but you will have taken control of your end of this business.

By getting banded you will be taking control of your life; the band does work for most of us and we do lose weight in a healthy fashion. And we tend to keep it off.

I said something (can't really remember what they were now), I lost our friendship.

Hey, a few years ago a friend of mine really hurt my feelings. We parted w/ words and haven't spoken since. She contacted me not too long ago because she had to put down one of her dogs that I'd loved and thought I would want to know. We've started talking again. She apologized for being such a sh*t and so selfish at the time. We're not back to where we were and I doubt that we'll ever be, but that's us. I guess my point is, how badly do you want her friendship back? If it's enough, you'll take the chance of rejection. Good luck.