Had only been at my job for six months when I was sleeved March 24. I developed a hernia after Christmas and knowing I would be out for surgery in the near future, I shared with people that I had a hernia and I was going to have a surgery. I wanted to sort of "cover" the surgery issue because I knew I'd be out. But what I didn't consider was that my coworkers would notice my weight loss, and put 2 and 2 together that I had WLS. I have had a few people say, how are you doing it?, etc. I have said that I cut out processed foods, sugar, alcohol, white carbs, etc. That is all true. But now some people have asked for details because they want to lose weight themselves. And these people who asked for details are not obese, but want to lose a few pounds. Also, there are 2 obese women there who are the best of friends and always talking and huddling. And I have very clearly sensed dislike and jealousy/or envy from one and a sort of, "I'm not stupid, it's obvious that you had surgery" looks from the other. I can feel their judgement just seething from behind their smiles. One asked how my surgery went (I gave her the hernia explanation).

Anyway I feel like I need to do something pro-active now. I can't say I had WLS now because I'd be "lying" in their eyes, and I don't want their judgement (even if they are judging silently to themselves!)…

So now I'm not sure what to say because my weight is still dropping and I'm still getting questions. I know I don't owe anyone any explanations and it's my business and stuff. The reason I elected to tell only a handful of friends I'd that my BMI was only 35, and when I began thinking about it, the folks I did talk to told me that I didn't need it. And another thing that crossed my mind was that I would seem vain for wanting to do it when I wasn't morbidly obese. Now I know it was they best decision ever and I am very happy about my results.

But I need advice on how to proceed. Thanks

On to the question of lying.

I have answered this question more times than I would like to on this forum as I feel those who fall into the category that not saying they had surgery is lying, I feel, I merely trying to make themselves feel superior.

Get over yourselves.

But, to address the OP, when I have been asked why I am not having more children, should I tell them I had a vasectomy and give them the details behind my decision? Do I owe the inquirer that information?

How about when I run into someone from years past who knew me when I had glasses and noticed something different. Am I obligated to go into the details of my lasik surgery?

Having a hemorrhoidectomy was, without the doubt, the third greatest surgery I have had in my life. MY GOD! I COULD SHOUT IT FROM THE MOUNTAINTOPS THE JOY AND RELIEF I HAVE FELT!! Anybody here want the details?

Anyone ... ?

Why then, am I obligated to go into any detail about my decision to have WLS? When people ask me the secret to my success, telling them portion control, not drinking with meals and exercise is NOT A LIE. Could I have done this without the surgery? Sure. I HAVE done this in the past along with many other diets and I was able to lose weight. Great amounts of weight, but I was never able to sustain the lifestyle.

The sleeve helps me to sustain the lifestyle.

I agree with PDX. The incessant questions and comments and the Eagle Eye focus on weight/diet alone prevented me from telling "everyone". Those who needed to know, those who I needed to be cheerleaders, all know. I work in a hospital and it he stereotypes of gossiping nurses is sadly true (not all but enough). I had seen it before in a coworker who had it done. She went on and on about it. They, in turn, went on and on about it. Please, see me for more than my weight, big or less big (I'm a long way to small). I've lost 68 and it's becoming the topic of conversation at times. I do look different. I'm thankful for the heartfelt comments. I'm not comfortable with acquaintances who push for details. I do tell what I do: low cal, low carb, high protein, track calories, swim/exercise. None of that is a lie and this doesn't work if I change those so..... I am well aware I won't "fool" everyone. It's not my intention to "fool" or "lie". But if I didn't tell you, it's probably because you didn't really need to know.

I've been in HR a long time and had many employees come with paperwork for time off for WLS, and I always thought, "Good for you!" They frequently ask if they have to tell boss/coworkers why they'll be out and I tell them they are welcome to say anything or nothing. It isn't anyone's business.

Unfortunately, I saw the stigma that was sometimes attached to those who chose to be open about their surgery. They were perceived as somehow weak or lacking by their peers and people would act like their success wasn't "real." For some reason, people think it's ok to look down on people who seek medical help for obesity or sometimes mental health.

I am open with friends and family about the sleeve. At work, it is no one's business, and I don't want any sort of stigma attached to me. My body is not an ok topic of the workplace.

@@PdxMan

I totally want to know about your 'rhoids.

@@PdxMan

I totally want to know about your 'rhoids.

As I told my wife on our first date, don't ask me any question to which you don't want to know the answer, 'cause, I'll tell you.

Im totally going to tell people the secret to my weight loss success. I will have three rotating stories.

1. Meth

2. Lipo

3. Too broke to buy food.

I mean, does one feel the need to hide it so they can feel superior as if they did it themselves without help? To gain accolades from their peers? Does one feel ashamed because they had to go to such drastic measures to gain control of their weight? I'm just trying to understand why lying is a better option for anyone because I've always lived my life as an open book.

Some of us aren't interested in being the poster child for WLS in our communities, workplaces, among our friends, etc. It becomes the first thing one thinks of when that person's name is mentioned.

I don't get why that is so hard to understand.

Kudos on being an open book. Some of us like our privacy. People are different.

Some of us aren't interested in being the poster child for WLS in our communities, workplaces, among our friends, etc. It becomes the first thing one thinks of when that person's name is mentioned. I don't get why that is so hard to understand. Kudos on being an open book. Some of us like our privacy. People are different.

Exactly!

Im totally going to tell people the secret to my weight loss success. I will have three rotating stories. 1. Meth 2. Lipo 3. Too broke to buy food.

Best. Responses. EVER. Lololololololol

I mean, does one feel the need to hide it so they can feel superior as if they did it themselves without help? To gain accolades from their peers? Does one feel ashamed because they had to go to such drastic measures to gain control of their weight? I'm just trying to understand why lying is a better option for anyone because I've always lived my life as an open book.

It has nothing to do with feeling superior or anything like that. In fact, I don't like to stand out. It's the judgement from others I'm trying to avoid. Funny thing...you kinda sound judgmental a little bit... Not trying to start anything. But it's sort of funny because maybe this question in the forum is showing me that there's no where completely safe from judgment. Thanks for teaching me that!

Thank you to everyone for your support. It means the world. Blessings All!

I mean, does one feel the need to hide it so they can feel superior as if they did it themselves without help? To gain accolades from their peers? Does one feel ashamed because they had to go to such drastic measures to gain control of their weight? I'm just trying to understand why lying is a better option for anyone because I've always lived my life as an open book.

It has nothing to do with feeling superior or anything like that. In fact, I don't like to stand out. It's the judgement from others I'm trying to avoid. Funny thing...you kinda sound judgmental a little bit... Not trying to start anything. But it's sort of funny because maybe this question in the forum is showing me that there's no where completely safe from judgment. Thanks for teaching me that!

Yes!! Matter of fact...it sounds to me as if she actually is "feeling superior" because some of us "LIE" and she doesn't.

Thank you everyone for posting different views of this and being non judgmental. I think we have all been judged enough.

<p>I am only on month 2 of my 6 month supervised diet. I don't plan to tell anyone but my mother. I have lost 60 to 80 pounds in 6 months several times and gained it back plus more. When the ask, as they always do, I am going to tell them the truth. I have given up soda, cut out processed foods and focus most of my calories on getting protein. All true. My health and medical information is mine to share or not share. Let people wonder and think what ever they choose. All that matters is how you feel about it. </p>

That's how I feel too. What you are sharing isn't a lie. I wanted help to figure out the best way of Not lying but not share everything..

I am getting sleeved on Monday I have not told anyone at work - it's nobody's business !! But I work with a bunch of women and I know the questions will be asked constantly !! Two months ago I joined crossfit, and I have been watching for the past month as per my doc, I have lost 6 pounds ( not much I know) but at least I have a story and I'm sticking to it ! Ha! My bmi is also 35. I really don't think the average person would even consider that I had wls , I hope not! I just don't want to hear the cattiness of others- good luck to you!! And remember it's nobody's business -those two fat girls -in my opinion probably have no idea that you had surgery, they're just jealous that whatever your doing is working !!

I agree with PDX. The incessant questions and comments and the Eagle Eye focus on weight/diet alone prevented me from telling "everyone". Those who needed to know, those who I needed to be cheerleaders, all know. I work in a hospital and it he stereotypes of gossiping nurses is sadly true (not all but enough). I had seen it before in a coworker who had it done. She went on and on about it. They, in turn, went on and on about it. Please, see me for more than my weight, big or less big (I'm a long way to small). I've lost 68 and it's becoming the topic of conversation at times. I do look different. I'm thankful for the heartfelt comments. I'm not comfortable with acquaintances who push for details. I do tell what I do: low cal, low carb, high protein, track calories, swim/exercise. None of that is a lie and this doesn't work if I change those so..... I am well aware I won't "fool" everyone. It's not my intention to "fool" or "lie". But if I didn't tell you, it's probably because you didn't really need to know.

Hear, Hear. Well said.