Ok.. When I first saw a dr put on my med chart " obese stomach" ..I was in shock. This was about 12 years ago. This comment stayed stuck I'm my mind for years to come at the meantime getting larger year to year. Of course..I would lose tons of weight between that time I saw this term and prior to sleeve surgery. For some reason that word "obese" pierced my heart. I had to talk through myself that it is only a word that the med profession uses for excess weight. But what I was really doing to myself ..I was in denial about my excess weight.. Only when I saw pics of myself ..I looked "obese". When I started having high blood pressure, high cholesterol ..it was a sign of my health condition..but even with these bad symptoms. I was still in denial about my excess weight. food was my best friend that I could not conceivably ever give up. I could not even fathom this concept and certainly did believe I could in myself to even consider this option. Flashback to Sept , 2013.. I heard that a friend of mine lost tons of weight with the sleeve..and finally keeping off her excess weight reheat she struggled to do for years. I was a classic replica,of her weight loss journey. Lose, gain, lose gain. After losing 65 pounds two years ago, just to gain it back immediately, I was literally exhausted with getting on diets.just to gain it all back. I had liposuction twice, I had the lapband, and went on too many diets to count . I was still no better in Sept 2013 ..improbably spend over $75,000

On weight loss efforts. (Could of used that money for a world cruise). I never , ever considered invasive weight loss surgery till Sept 2013. The gastric by pass, in my opinion, was too extreme,

I researched the sleeve, spoke to my friend who had the surgery, and went to a consult with my dr.

I vacillated whether to have the surgery. Changed my mind several times. I was also seeing a psychologist at that time for my "emotional" eating. This turned out to be invaluable and a real added plus to my current success. I still see my psychologist every two weeks.

I knew deep down that getting on another "diet" of food deprivation was no longer a solution to my weight problem. I was completely exhausted to deal with my weight ..on to dec, 2013'. I had the surgery. I remember that 7 days after surgery, my reality that food can and will no longer be my friend was very humbling to me. I knew that my life changed forever with my relationship with food.

I cried, I mourned..but I prevailed. To me that day was a turning point.. I could now accept that food was no longer my best friend. I cannot explain how profound that day was for me. Sadness , mixed with hope ..5 month later, today, I am living such an energetic life, with great joy. I don't obsess on food.. My tool, the gastric sleeve, has helped my in curving my hunger, big time. Head hunger still appears in my life.. But through my psychological sessions, I have more tools to deal with this. I now have connection between my head and my stomach..I had lost,that for years.. Never, ever checked,with my stomach to see,if I was truly hungry ..I would just eat and

eat and eat and never felt full.

Even though I had years of struggle with my weight..I have to accept that my struggles has brought me to where I am today. Getting healthier, and seizing what life has to offer. Eating to live not living to eat. I have greatly reduced the "all or nothing attitude " I do enjoy on occasion my favorite foods..but he difference now..the guilt feeling nah as dismissed. I don't binge because I had one bite of a "bad stuff". Eating in moderation what I do now. No more deprivation.

To those who are considering wls..I would suggest to get help if you are an emotional eater. You need the tool of the sleeve or by pass to help you get to your healthy goal, but just as important, you need to deal with your relationship with food. I am now considered overweight.. I accept this term without harsh judgement on me. I accept the weight I am today.. I know I will slowly reach my goal ..I decided to set a goal of 150 pounds at 5'2". 60'years old. I am in a size 8 .. Which I am very proud of. 13 more pounds to go. I am grateful where I am today.

Great story! Thanks for sharing. I hated knowing I was obese too. The word has a sting to it.