I'm having my surgery on Monday..April 9th.

I've already had friends and family say to me..*oh no, now we can't go out and eat or we can't have BBQ's anymore, etc.

Even my husband (which is muscle and no fat) is moaning about the fact that our social life (our social life consists of eating out with friends and having family over for big meals..southern style) will NOT be the same.

What is a good reply?

Since I'm not banded yet..I have no idea.

IDEAS?:help:

Tell everyone to calm down!

I still go out to eat, and eat most of the same foods as everyone else. No matter where we choose to eat, I can find something on the menu. I even go to buffets! I just don't pigout anymore!

I hope you can trust me on this...I do remember wondering the very same thing before my surgery. I couldn't imagine what the future held...but it's a year and half now, and my life is simply better.

I go to Italian, Chinese, Mexican, BBQ....family dinners, school picnics with my DD, EVERYTHING! I just choose what I can eat (and that's very individual, and you'll figure that out as you go), and I don't talk about it incessantly, or even tell everybody about it. Most people know I am banded, but it's not like I tell the stranger next to me in the buffet line, "I'm not piling my plate 4 inches high with food because I have a lapband." LOL!

So, relax...you'll still enjoy your social life, and if you loved cooking and entertaining, you still will. I love cooking just as much as ever!

Hope this helps you...and reassures your family.

Good luck!

Cindy

That's a great point, Jack...I've noticed in gatherings now that I spend more time actually engaged with people, instead of circling the table like a shark! LOL!

Things will change but all for the better. You will be able to enjoy everything just in smaller portions. You'll be taking home left overs from the restaurant or sharing a dish with your hubby instead.

You can still do everything you used to do--just with less food.

At first I was worried that I was going to tempt myself to overeat, stretch the pouch, etc. But it's just NOT AN ISSUE. I'm okay with eating 4 ounces of food. And you will be as well!

I went for BBQ last night! After you are on solids, you will be able to go to the same places and dine. You just won't eat as much.

I was a big believer in eat, drink and be merry! We used to feast like Romans in the "old days" and there are times I miss that. I don't, however, miss that 100 lbs hanging off my body. I still go out and enjoy the company of friends and family but I don't feast. i now snackand that works for me. People will learn your limits and you may find them helpful. Everyone in my life has been very considerate of me and band. When I was on liquids and mushies, everyone took that into account and helped me find place with options that worked for me. I discovered Soups, rice and potato dishes that were out of this world!

Life is not over, it is just starting. Any sacrifice I made has been worth it. You will find the same to be true. Best of luck!

This is a huge one for me, as my husband is a Chef, and a culinary instructor at that. Dining out is a HUGE factor in our lives. People cook for us all the time, and we normally would dine out 3-4 times a week. We agreed to tell people that we needed a month off, (tell I get on solids).. but then we plan on resuming as normal. I just plan on eating less, and in cases were we can we will split entrees. I tend to focus on the conversation, and eat 1 bite to every 5 my husband takes now. I really don't think it will be that big of an issue, so long as I chew. I was real worried about it prior to surgery, as I thought I was giving up food for life.. now I look at it as I'm even more a food snob than I was. That one bite better be damned good, people are used to it from my husband, now they get it from me.

Yep - for the first month after surgery, your social life may suffer - but after that, Party On.

In Fact - it was well over 8 months before I ever got enough restriction to keep me from eating like a normal person, portion size and all.

I ate LESS from the beginning - but not much less than any "normal" person would eat.

Go for it!

Being banded doesn't mean you have to give up on food, on the contrary, whenever you go out with friends, you get to savour food and you become more picky with what you choose. Besides, if you're not «pigging out» you are so much more attentive to the people you're hanging out with and enjoying their company. You'll soon notice that it is indeed a matter of quality over quantity. It is impossible not to find something that suits you in a restaurant menu or at somebody's place. It's like when you are in a party holding a glass in you hand (no, you don't have to give up drinking socially), you just keep it in your hand and take little sips every now and then, you don't have to gulp it down and go for a refill immediately after.

The purpose of the band is to increase your life style, not the opposite. You just have to do your share, and things should be fine.

niki

I find it rude and disgusting that your "friends" and "family" would put such guilt on you. You are doing this for YOU! I would advise them that you are the one that has to worry about what you can eat and how much, NOT THEM! You can still go out for dinner, you just have to watch what and how much you eat. They should be simply enjoying your company.

slap those people silly for me please! Tell them to get over themselves....

I was a vegetarian for nine years. After I became one I had to tell people to stop worrying about it because I'd manage to find a way to eat and not starve to death. I managed just fine... Of course some people did worry more than others. When DH and I started dating he would look for food for me before himself. I figure the band is similar. I just have to tell people to stop worrying. I went out pretty recently after I got banded to a restaurant. I ordered milk and mixed in some unjury. No one cared. If YOU can handle eating differently then everyone else needs to get over it too.

"Thanks but how much I can eat really has nothing to do with how much fun I'm going to have going out."

We don't really have THAT many dietary restrictions, it's just about how much you eat, and things you should generally stay away from as part of a healthy diet (but can indulge in sometimes).