I hit one year today. I should be happy that I'm down from 250 to 160. But a very close family friend had a massive hart attack on Sunday and has been in a medically induced coma. His outlook isn't too promising because they don't know the extent of his brain injuries and meds and machines are the only thing keeping him alive right now. I saw him in the er and the image is haunting my thoughts. When I close my eyes I see this man who was full of life and love hooked up to these machines on a gurney convulsing in the er and in a coma in the icu.

The only two things keeping me distracted are food and Xanax. I worry about crossover addiction. I worry about starting bad habits and regain. I worry most about my friend. Walking, elliptical leaves my mind to focus on my friend. He is like an uncle to me. I have known him for 23 of my 30 years on this planet. I have to be strong for my mom and my other friend.

I'm not quite sure the point of this post. Maybe hoping for a cathartic effect in getting this all out. Maybe I'm in overdrive in my worry because we find out tomorrow if he has enough brain function to live off the machines and meds. Maybe I'm having some suppressed emotions from when my grandma passed under almost identical circumstances. All I know is I need to find my stress relief that doesn't involve food or medication. My MS doesn't benefit from this.

I'm sorry to hear that your friend is ill and struggling. I think it is entirely normal to be focused on that situation and to have some stress responses to it. It is only 2 days post the trauma of your friends illness, and that doesn't undo all the good that you have accomplished in the past year. Be kind to yourself, and be there for your friend, the rest of this "stuff" will work out over time.

Perhaps just keep track of what you eat, use your MFP to remain conscious about what you are eating at this time of stress. This helps me, even if I make some impulsive choices, I don't lose sight of my actions and completely run the train off the cliff. My sympathies to you and your friend. Maybe this is the time to spend some time cooking, healthy dinners for mom and yourself? Make sure there are healthy snacks in your purse for hospital visits and times where you just don't have the energy to take care of yourself.

I am sorry to hear this. it is so tough.

Avoid all or nothing thinking. A few rugged days does NOT mean that you are somehow broken or everything you have worked toward is lost. You know, even "normies" (never obese - need to come up with a better name!) can do unhealthy things as response to stress. The difference is they pick themselves up, lick their wounds and move on rather then staying in an unhealthy rut.

A few times I have wanted to use food as comfort too - not saying it is good, but it happens. What has worked is substituting. For example, hot Protein cocoa is very comforting to me! Yeah, maybe I wasn't really hungry when I drank it, but it made me feel better and did minimal harm.

Thank you guys so much. I was pretty mad at myself because last night I wanted cookies bad. And I had way more then I know I should. This weekend when we have a better prognosis for my friend I will take my 1 year pics. Just doesn't seem right to me right now to be rah rah go me. Today's visit was much more promising then yesterday but I know he has a very long road ahead of him. Thank all of you for your positive words. They do mean so much to me especially as I try to enter maintenance. Just don't feel the need to lose much more. Maybe I will in time.

I feel for you, that is really sad. I wish I had some good ideas for you. When I'm stressed I try to do something nice for myself, but I'm not sure that's what you need right nowq given you have such a sad situation to deal with. When I fall off the wagon in situations like you describe it usually involved copious amounts of alcohol and sugar, then it is out of my system. Not recommending that - just sharing.

Paying for your friend. Congrats on your year.