Hey guys. This is my first check in since surgery and today is 5days out and I feel alright today. A little tired and sore but good.

The night before my surgery i could barely sleep. I cried the entire way to the hotel and that night. What if i died? I have a wonderful husband and a precious six year old daughter that i cant leave..... just because i dont want to be fat anymore.

The morning of surgery i sent a text messege to my husband and told him he couldnt read it until i was in surgery.

They weighed me and i was exactly 130 kilograms... (286 pounds) (i started this jouney at 304 pounds) they put me in a pre op rooom and took my vitals, inserted an iv, and pushed medicine into my iv that would stop stomach acid and a mustle relaxer that would numb the mustles in my stomach. My mouth was so dry! I have a dry mouth anyway and i guess nerves were making it worse because it was terrible! My lips were sticking to my gums it was so dry. They let me suck on a wet wash cloth just to wet my mouth. My dr came in and said they would give me something for my nerves before they took me back. My surgery ran about an hour and a half so my daughter got to sit in my lap and watch tv w me. She didnt really understand but the whole time i was playing w her hair.... rubbing her back.. because i wanted her to remember that if i died during surgery. Crazy i know... but that was my actual thought.

The anestesiologist came jn and pushed some milky looking stuff in my iv and said it was time. My family left as they were wheeling me out. I watched my husband walk away... i just knew i wouldnt see him again.

Once i got into the surgery room i saw my surgeon and some nurses... the room smelt weird and they were listening to sweet home alabama lol... my surgeon said hey beautiful! And i smiled...they moved a bed next to mine to move me over onto and thats the last thing i remember.

I woke up in recovery pacu with a morphine pca (pain pump where u push a button to give yourself pain medicine) and the nurse said i had been there in pacu for 3 hours. They were waiting for a rokm to be cleaned for me upstairs. I know my husband and family saw me in pacu but i dont remember seeing them. They were worried that i was there for so long. Once i got into my room i heard my dad talking and instantly felt at ease. I still had my pain pump and i noticed i had a jp drain (little drain bag yhat sucks blood out of your incision) and a little internal pain pump called an on-q (this lityle ball delivered numbing medicine strait into my tummy likr every 10 minutes automaticly... it was awesome) i really didnt have much pain at all! Of course i used the crap out of my morphine lol. Its there for your pain guys! USE IT! I dont remember much of that day but i do remember being npo...until the next morning for my swallow study. That night i also remember having a reaction to the morphine and started itching like crazy. So i got benedryl thru my iv every 6 hours and that helped alot! They brought me mouth swabs that u can dip in like diluted mouth wash? They made me feel much better. That night my pca was changed every 6 hours so i was really pushing my button! Lol... but i wasnt feeling any pain! My nurses let my iv beep for an hour and that was annoying but oh well. I was walking the hall and going to the bathroom to pee i did NOT have a cathater. The next morning i had my swallow study and it was a lityle uncomfortable... the stuff u have to drink did fill my pouch and i was scared to drink it but it was cool to see my stomach and the staple line on the big screen. My test passed i had no leaks and was cleared to have Clear liquids. There was a misshap in the kitchen and it was 8 hours later before i got anything so i made my own damn broth from packets i had brought. It was going on 56 hours since i had had ANYTHING in my stomach except barriam and i was very weak. My beef broth was fantastic lol. I was instructed to take in 2 oz of clear Fluid every hour plus Water. I couldnt do this...

The second night in the hospital my husband kept our daughter in the hotel and i stayed in the hospital by myself. My blood pressure got down to 90/40 and my oxygen was staying around 84% without the nasal cannula on. So if i wasnt walking and was in bed i had to wear the 02. I had to ask the nurse to retake my bp because it was low and that took hours for someone to take it. I work in a hospital... i wasnt vety pleased w my service at this one. Anyway it was retaken 3 hours later and was better. The next morning i had a big wave of nausea come over me and i went to the bathroom. It was actually gas and my first bowel movement. It was very runny and dark and omg i was sooooo glad no one was in my room because dude... that was some impressive gas lol. i was cleared to go home by my dr... we were walking the hall together and i got on the scale again and this time it said 133 kg (293 pounds... i had gained 7pounds being in the hospital) he said that was normal... i was like wtf? I havent ate in 3 days! He said it was all surgical fluid and iv fluid that floods your tissues after surgery. It would come off. I told him my urine was dark and i wasnt peeing as much as i was taking in thru the iv.. he gave me a bolus of fluid and my urine was clearer before i left. My jp was taken out as well as the internal pain pump and honestly guys it didnt hurt at all.

The 3 hour ride home was ok with my pillow between my tummy and the seat belt and i took a nap. I went home with liquid tylenol 3 and chewable zofran. Ive only used the tylenol 3 times.

Since being home i have to shower everyday not scrubbing my incisions but letting water run over them. There is one incision that had the jp that i have to dress and cover before my shower so it doesnt get wet. I have also noticed that i dont really get the FULL feeling in my tummy that i would like with just 4oz. And im pretty starving! But i was able to start Protein shakes today and that has helped a little. 4oz every hour.

So inportant things to remember after surgery... use your pakn pump!! Walk walk walk... and if u hear something in your room that sounds like a growling bear fixing to attack... its prob your stomach. (Seriously.... me and my husband were on the couch watching tv and he said wtf was that? Lol i said its my stomach.. maybe i need to go the the bathroom and pass some gas... his exact response to me..... "babe... your gonna tear that bathroom up" lol ass

Starting weight 304

Surgery date 286

Leaving hospital 2 days later 293

Home 4days after surgery 288

Glad it went very well. Almost uneventful. working in a hospital I am sure you could imagine a thousand different scenarios. good for you! Your on your way now!

You an amazing writer! What a different spin on all the other boring stories! I am glad your doing good!

Why thank you

Thanks for the details, I'm nervous and excited at the same time!

Wow! You didn't come home with a drainage bulb?? I had one in for 7 days...And my leak test was 2 hours after my surgery..I remember swallowing the stuff and telling them I was about to throw up (thank you Lord that I never did) but it was an awful feeling...Sounds like you did great! Thanks for sharing..

Thank you for sharing! I'm sure feeling you on the emotional/scared/etc part. I'm so lucky that DH2B is so supportive. And it seems like you're going to be around for a long time, long enough to meet your daughter's daughter!! Stay strong, sister!

Hey guys. This is my first check in since surgery and today is 5days out and I feel alright today. A little tired and sore but good. <br> The night before my surgery i could barely sleep. I cried the entire way to the hotel and that night. What if i died? I have a wonderful husband and a precious six year old daughter that i cant leave..... just because i dont want to be fat anymore.<br><br> The morning of surgery i sent a text messege to my husband and told him he couldnt read it until i was in surgery. <br> They weighed me and i was exactly 130 kilograms... (286 pounds) (i started this jouney at 304 pounds) they put me in a pre op rooom and took my vitals, inserted an iv, and pushed medicine into my iv that would stop stomach acid and a mustle relaxer that would numb the mustles in my stomach. My mouth was so dry! I have a dry mouth anyway and i guess nerves were making it worse because it was terrible! My lips were sticking to my gums it was so dry. They let me suck on a wet wash cloth just to wet my mouth. My dr came in and said they would give me something for my nerves before they took me back. My surgery ran about an hour and a half so my daughter got to sit in my lap and watch tv w me. She didnt really understand but the whole time i was playing w her hair.... rubbing her back.. because i wanted her to remember that if i died during surgery. Crazy i know... but that was my actual thought. <br><br> The anestesiologist came jn and pushed some milky looking stuff in my iv and said it was time. My family left as they were wheeling me out. I watched my husband walk away... i just knew i wouldnt see him again. <br> Once i got into the surgery room i saw my surgeon and some nurses... the room smelt weird and they were listening to sweet home alabama lol... my surgeon said hey beautiful! And i smiled...they moved a bed next to mine to move me over onto and thats the last thing i remember.<br><br> I woke up in recovery pacu with a morphine pca (pain pump where u push a button to give yourself pain medicine) and the nurse said i had been there in pacu for 3 hours. They were waiting for a rokm to be cleaned for me upstairs. I know my husband and family saw me in pacu but i dont remember seeing them. They were worried that i was there for so long. Once i got into my room i heard my dad talking and instantly felt at ease. I still had my pain pump and i noticed i had a jp drain (little drain bag yhat sucks blood out of your incision) and a little internal pain pump called an on-q (this lityle ball delivered numbing medicine strait into my tummy likr every 10 minutes automaticly... it was awesome) i really didnt have much pain at all! Of course i used the crap out of my morphine lol. Its there for your pain guys! USE IT! I dont remember much of that day but i do remember being npo...until the next morning for my swallow study. That night i also remember having a reaction to the morphine and started itching like crazy. So i got benedryl thru my iv every 6 hours and that helped alot! They brought me mouth swabs that u can dip in like diluted mouth wash? They made me feel much better. That night my pca was changed every 6 hours so i was really pushing my button! Lol... but i wasnt feeling any pain! My nurses let my iv beep for an hour and that was annoying but oh well. I was walking the hall and going to the bathroom to pee i did NOT have a cathater. The next morning i had my swallow study and it was a lityle uncomfortable... the stuff u have to drink did fill my pouch and i was scared to drink it but it was cool to see my stomach and the staple line on the big screen. My test passed i had no leaks and was cleared to have clear liquids. There was a misshap in the kitchen and it was 8 hours later before i got anything so i made my own damn broth from packets i had brought. It was going on 56 hours since i had had ANYTHING in my stomach except barriam and i was very weak. My beef broth was fantastic lol. I was instructed to take in 2 oz of clear fluid every hour plus water. I couldnt do this...<br> The second night in the hospital my husband kept our daughter in the hotel and i stayed in the hospital by myself. My blood pressure got down to 90/40 and my oxygen was staying around 84% without the nasal cannula on. So if i wasnt walking and was in bed i had to wear the 02. I had to ask the nurse to retake my bp because it was low and that took hours for someone to take it. I work in a hospital... i wasnt vety pleased w my service at this one. Anyway it was retaken 3 hours later and was better. The next morning i had a big wave of nausea come over me and i went to the bathroom. It was actually gas and my first bowel movement. It was very runny and dark and omg i was sooooo glad no one was in my room because dude... that was some impressive gas lol. i was cleared to go home by my dr... we were walking the hall together and i got on the scale again and this time it said 133 kg (293 pounds... i had gained 7pounds being in the hospital) he said that was normal... i was like wtf? I havent ate in 3 days! He said it was all surgical fluid and iv fluid that floods your tissues after surgery. It would come off. I told him my urine was dark and i wasnt peeing as much as i was taking in thru the iv.. he gave me a bolus of fluid and my urine was clearer before i left. My jp was taken out as well as the internal pain pump and honestly guys it didnt hurt at all. <br> The 3 hour ride home was ok with my pillow between my tummy and the seat belt and i took a nap. I went home with liquid tylenol 3 and chewable zofran. Ive only used the tylenol 3 times. <br><br> Since being home i have to shower everyday not scrubbing my incisions but letting water run over them. There is one incision that had the jp that i have to dress and cover before my shower so it doesnt get wet. I have also noticed that i dont really get the FULL feeling in my tummy that i would like with just 4oz. And im pretty starving! But i was able to start protein shakes today and that has helped a little. 4oz every hour.<br><br> So inportant things to remember after surgery... use your pakn pump!! Walk walk walk... and if u hear something in your room that sounds like a growling bear fixing to attack... its prob your stomach. (Seriously.... me and my husband were on the couch watching tv and he said wtf was that? Lol i said its my stomach.. maybe i need to go the the bathroom and pass some gas... his exact response to me..... "babe... your gonna tear that bathroom up" lol ass<br><br> Starting weight 304 <br> Surgery date 286<br> Leaving hospital 2 days later 293<br> Home 4days after surgery 288

Thank you so very much for detailing the experience and your feelings and thoughts throughout the pre and post-surgical experience! Of all the experiences I have read, yours was the most valuable!

My surgery is scheduled for 2/18. I have two young boys (3 1/2 and 2) and the mortality equation weighs very heavy on my mind. I'm hoping for the best and have my expectations set for accepting what happens. The thought of leaving 2 boys without a father and my wife to bare the brunt of the loss constantly occupies my thoughts.

Thanks again! You helped me feel connected...

Thank you so very much for detailing the experience and your feelings and thoughts throughout the pre and post-surgical experience! Of all the experiences I have read, yours was the most valuable!<br><br> My surgery is scheduled for 2/18. I have two young boys (3 1/2 and 2) and the mortality equation weighs very heavy on my mind. I'm hoping for the best and have my expectations set for accepting what happens. The thought of leaving 2 boys without a father and my wife to bare the brunt of the loss constantly occupies my thoughts.<br><br> Thanks again! You helped me feel connected...

I feel you.. I know everything will work out for you and you will be a better dad and husband in the end. Beat of luck to you!

God love you. You're as morbid as me. I left letters for my kids. Made videos and told my husband what to let me wear if I died. I left insurance policy info, etc. I'm also very sarcastic but it's just a defense mechanism. I had the same feeling, what if I die trying to be a healthier person. It was horrible. I had lengthy conversations with Anesthesiologist. That was my biggest fear. When I woke up, I kept asking if I was dead. I also had a terrible fear of blood clots. Other than my fear, my surgery which was 2/4/14 was smooth. Good Luck on your new journey.

Wow! You didn't come home with a drainage bulb?? I had one in for 7 days...And my leak test was 2 hours after my surgery..I remember swallowing the stuff and telling them I was about to throw up (thank you Lord that I never did) but it was an awful feeling...Sounds like you did great! Thanks for sharing..

No i was sable to get rid of mine on the 3rd day

And my swallow test was almost 24 hours later... i dont remember how i got thru the wait now that i think about it lol my mouth was sooooooo dry my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth! but i remember mints!

Edited February 18, 201412 yr by ggdrop

God love you. You're as morbid as me. I left letters for my kids. Made videos and told my husband what to let me wear if I died. I left insurance policy info, etc. I'm also very sarcastic but it's just a defense mechanism. I had the same feeling, what if I die trying to be a healthier person. It was horrible. I had lengthy conversations with Anesthesiologist. That was my biggest fear. When I woke up, I kept asking if I was dead. I also had a terrible fear of blood clots. Other than my fear, my surgery which was 2/4/14 was smooth. Good Luck on your new journey.

Lol yea i freaked lol. We talked about buriel plans... what songs i wanted played... my husband promised to bury me in new pjs lol

Edited February 18, 201412 yr by ggdrop

Thank you so very much for detailing the experience and your feelings and thoughts throughout the pre and post-surgical experience! Of all the experiences I have read, yours was the most valuable!

My surgery is scheduled for 2/18. I have two young boys (3 1/2 and 2) and the mortality equation weighs very heavy on my mind. I'm hoping for the best and have my expectations set for accepting what happens. The thought of leaving 2 boys without a father and my wife to bare the brunt of the loss constantly occupies my thoughts.

Thanks again! You helped me feel connected...

Your welcome love!! Im so glad my post helped you!

Stop! I did the same thing! So happy everything worked out for us both! As I sit eating my little bowl of Summer Squash Soup.

God love you. You're as morbid as me. I left letters for my kids. Made videos and told my husband what to let me wear if I died. I left insurance policy info, etc. I'm also very sarcastic but it's just a defense mechanism. I had the same feeling, what if I die trying to be a healthier person. It was horrible. I had lengthy conversations with Anesthesiologist. That was my biggest fear. When I woke up, I kept asking if I was dead. I also had a terrible fear of blood clots. Other than my fear, my surgery which was 2/4/14 was smooth. Good Luck on your new journey.

Lol yea i freaked lol. We talked about buriel plans... what songs i wanted played... my husband promised to bury me in new pjs lol