This isnt really Lap-Band related, and im sorry but i really need you guys right now. You know about my boyfriend Sin. Him and I broke up last night, and im not doing well at all. I cannot stop crying for the life of me, i have the worlds biggest headache. Why of all the times, did this happen when i just had surgery. I dont know if im strong enough to deal with the surgery, and the break up. I never wanted to break up with him. I loved him, I still love him. He doesnt understand that when my weight started to climb in the last year that i shut down completely. I feel like i have no one now to help me through this extremely rough time. Im a mess, I dont know what to do. Im afraid im going to be alone forever. I feel like i was the worst girlfriend in the world. I feel like because he doesnt love me or want me anymore, no one will. I realize there are other people out there. I just im a mess. I need your guy's support really really badly. Tell me it will be ok. It will be ok right? I will eventually stop crying and get over him right? Its not like i can go out and eat a pint of ice cream to soothe my pain, which makes this even harder. I just dont know what to do, I cant stop crying and thinking that I didnt want the realtionship to end and that we could work things out. I know he doesnt feel that way. Ive tried talking to him since the break up, But he ignores me. Which is even more painful. I really need some help right now. How do i get over him and move on and stop crying? Any comments are welcome. Im just really down and out right now. Please give me anything you got.

~Hotpink~

I don't have any advise, but I'm sorry that you're going through all of this at the same time...and I'm sending you (((((HUGS))))

HPB...

I am sorry for you pain. I have been there; it's all too familiar. I was your age when that 'wonderful' guy broke up with me. "God Bless the Broken Road". Everything happens for a reason - you may not know the reason now, in a week or even in a month. But trust and KNOW it gets easier. Right now, you contacting him is not the best thing for you - but you'll do it. Its just a girls way of doing things. From you other posts, he really was a drag - to you, and me *just hearing how he treats you!!

Didn't you just post that you said you think he's gay? You may have to face that he's trying to figure himself out too.

This is a process, a very physical process of healing. It's a bad time; b/c you really DO need to put all of your energies into YOU...not an 'ok' relationship at very best.

You are NOT alone.

There has been some really good advice posted for you here, so please excuse my blunt 2 cents worth.

Think about it, do you REALLY want to spend the rest of your life with some ditchweed who bails out on you when you just had surgery? Especially surgery that will help transform you into a woman who'd turn the head of any man? How would he react when real problems pop up? Come on girl, he ain't worth the dirt on the bottom of your shoes! Good riddance to bad rubbish I say.

Stick to your goals and work the band Honey! Now's the time to focus on you and what is best for you, and I assure you that he is NOT what is best for you.

I think he was probably an emotional crutch you were using and it's time you learned to throw the crutch away and learn to walk on your on. It may be painful and tough to do now but someday you will see it was the best thing that happened to you.

Someday you'll look back and wonder just what in the hell was it you thought you saw in him.

Lot's of good advice here darlin.. I dont have too too much to add..

One thing I will say is this.. you dont NEED a man to have a great life.. and a man doesnt NEED a woman to have a great life.. when I started realizing this, I became truely happy and finally found my true love! My fiance and I (yes getting married in May in Vegas!) are very happy and truely supportive of each other and enhance each other's lives..

Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't support you, calls you names the first chance he gets angry, and would throw you under a bus just to make himself look better or for revenge?

I say, when you are feeling better, spruce yourself up, and go out in your "red high heels"!! Enjoy being an independent woman.. someone who made the decision to change the rest of her life and don't take any crap from anyone!!

Hang in there!

~Donnamarie~

After my biggest heartbreak - I would go to the gym - workout my hardest and chant in my head "pain is preferrable" sounds weird, but it was healing and I lost weight and looked great ( after a year I met my new husband there too) the other thing I did to pass time and work out the thoughts in my head was to go to the local high school track and walk and cry and walk and cry and not stop until I was done crying. I know I looked nuts, but it's better than pacing around the house and eating.

HPB,

It is horrible timing on his part but you will get through this. Even though , believe it or not, you may be better off without him (do you really want someone who does this to you at a time like this?) your main focus needs to be "get better, heal stomach heal; get thin". You need to take care of you. You need to get BACK to you. I know what it is like to lose that person you were, not just the skinny person you were, but the self assured, confident skinny person you were. Now you took the healthy steps to get YOU back. Do it and keep saying to yourself that you can do it, you will do it. Even if you do it with the idea that it is for getting HIM back as you get skinnier. Fine. Show him you are strong. Believe it or not, men like that. Show him that you don't need him , and thatyou may want him , but you don't need him to get to health. What will probably happen is that you will look fantastic, you will be healthier body and mind and you will be having to choose which guy for which night for dates, there will be so many. It may turn out that you won't be chossing him for any of them (lol). But even if you do, he will respect you more and be amazed at your beauty and strength. BTW, i had an ex who used to tell me that "no man (other then him) would want a fat piece of s_it" like me. I threw him out and 2 months later was dating a man that I am now engaged to. He is a wonderful man that I loved when I was in my 20's. He knew me when I was a bone, and loves me now even though I am not (a bone any longer). However, now that I had the surgery, I am looking forward to being a "bone" again , of course not a 20 yr old bone, but a nice 40 something yr old bone (lol). Cheer up. Believe me, get YOU together and THEY (even him) will coming crawling.