Scared to Death
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I have had numerous surgeries in my life. At 19, I had my wisdom teeth pulled and I woke up during surgery. About 23 I had an exploratory lap surgery (checking for endometriosis), I didn’t wake up but had the gas pains in my shoulder and neck area, hurt like hell. At 24 I had to have my left index finger reattached, I woke up during surgery. At 28, an emergency c-section, wasn’t asleep when they started and woke up while they were stapling me up gagging on the tube, hurt like hell. I have had 3 surgeries for kidney stones and didn’t wake up for any of them. I have had 2 colonoscopies, and woke up during the last one in November, hurt like hell. I am scared to death that I am going to wake up during lap band. I am scared to death of the gas pain. I know the pain and fear of being awake while someone is in your abdominal cavity and not being able to move to let them know that you are are not out. I had nightmares for while after my c-section, they started up again Thuresday night. I know that I am going to have the surgery and that it is going to be alright. I know that I can survive the recovery, but it still doesn’t make it any easier.
I am sitting here at work (have to work all weekend) trying not to cry I am so scared. I am having surgery on March 20 at 9:30am. Only 2 days and a wake up away.
Please, please pray for me that I will not wake up during this surgery and that God will give me peace in my heart and remove my fears while waiting for Tuesday to get here.