Close to goal.. hmm
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New Hope wrote:
Wow, Leatha, do you realize how close you are to your goal? Way to go, girl!
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marie
229/190/??
5' 3", 50 y.o.
1st fill 8/1/04 1cc
Dr. Spivak, 5/26/04
Reach for the stars and LIVE LIFE !!!
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Marie,
It's funny that you should say that. I was just sitting here thinking to myself - 183, WOW! Dare I think that I am anywhere close to finishing?
I don't really have a goal, persay. Before I gained all my weight at 19-20, I weighed anywhere from 118 to 124. I thought I was fat then! lol.
Dr. Wetter says my goal should be 159 and I think that's because the statistics say we'll not lose 100% of our weight. I say 159 is still too heavy for my frame, although I'll sure take it if it's as far as I can go. Dr. Veninga says 140, I think. I'll sure take that too.
This has been an interesting ride to me, because in my mind, I am scared to death to ever think I will not be fat. I don't know if I'm scared of the world I'll have to face without the insulation or the 'me' I'll have to face. I'm sure that I need to find myself a counselor who can help me navigate through this dark and scary place. I haven't up until now because being on the road and keeping appointments just isn't possible. I wished I knew what my future held, so I could make some of those appointments.
It brings tears to my eyes to think of where I have been and where I seem to be going. Honestly, I know I have worked hard this past year, but not nearly like some. I must have done something right to have lost 67lbs. I must have! But, I have days where I think I'm totally sabotaging my whole journey and I wonder what it is inside of me that I am so afraid of.
This past 6-7 years has been one big scary monster for me. I have had every stressor known to man (divorce, fire, new job, moves, health issues, empty nest - need i say more?) and yet, here I sit, somehow stronger and so much better in so many ways. How could this possibly be? What happens at the end of this line?
Yes, just today I have acknowledged that I may actually make it to the finish line, or maybe I'm already there? I am, after all, still alive and still determined albeit slow.
One thing is for certain.. I am no quitter!
Thank you for noticing..you are always so Up and positive. I appreciate that in you.