I just called my mom and was telling her about the saga I've been going through to try and have my stuff sent from my old surgeon to the new one. You know what she said? "This is getting ridiculous! Just pretend you had surgery and lose the weight that way!"

Thanks, Mom. I really hadn't thought of that.

I've never been successful at losing weight and keeping if off in the past because I GET HUNGRY and eventually fall off the wagon. That's why I want to have this surgery, so I won't be hungry! If it was so easy to "pretend I had surgery," doesn't she think I would?! You would think that being obese herself, she would know what I am going through. I don't want to wind up like her, with high cholesterol, diabetes, and a double knee replacement. She "doesn't want to worry about what the surgery may do to me later in life". Geez, Mom, it isn't like I am having RNY. This surgery is ENTIRELY REVERSIBLE. If I start having problems, I can have it taken out. It isn't like I am having my intestines rearranged or my stomach chopped into bits. I know she doesn't like the thought of me having surgery, but I would rather risk surgery than risk being obese the rest of my life.

My mom has been against the band from day one. She really gave me a hard time when I was fighting the insurance, researching everything. I have had to defend my band every step of the way. Then last week she calls me and tells me that I am going to have to help/support her best friend that is now getting the band. Now it's the best things since ready made protein drinks. (since I can't have sliced bread anymore, it's just not the best thing anymore LOL) She told her friend that the band has changed/saved my life. She told her how great is it, how much healithier I am, how great I have done with it. She is totally encouraging her with her band/decision. But the very next day she says it's my reduced portions, that has made my immune system so weak that I have been sick for a month. (she has the same flu that I have, also being sick for several weeks) But her friend needs the band to save her life. Go figure, mom's can't live with them and you sure can't tell them anything. ~Mandy

Laurend - I mentioned earlier having mom problems. The irony is that last week, she & my dad called and asked me to go my surgeon's information seminar with them.

Yeah, my mom was so enthusiastic when we went to the seminar, she was actually considering having it herself.

Seriously, tell your mom exactly how that made you feel! Let her know you don't appreciate that she isn't being supportive. I say, being direct in situations like this is best. Put her on the spot and let her know exactly what you think of what she did. That is the only way to TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT YOU!

I'm just a very nonconfrontational person. (Well, in person. As you can probably tell, I loosen up when I'm not talking to a person's face.) Usually, I just get very quiet and internalize everything. Which is basically another legacy of my childhood, because of the way I was harassed by my brother. Fighting it never made a difference, so I've just learned to sit back and take it.

Lauren, sorry your mom isn't supportive. Just do this for yourself and you'll be fine.

There is a difference between being nonconfrontational and being someone who asserts herself and sticks up for herself when needed. Please remember that you are a human being and not a door mat to be stepped on. Try to DEAL with your situations instead of NOT DEALING because you don't want to be 'confrontational'. Work on it if you can. I know you can't change over night. You are the only one who has the power to teach people how to treat you. You have to give yourself the permission to speak up for yourself. If you don't WHO WILL!!!

my mom doesn't get it either. "can't you just do weight watchers for a while longer?" but the thing is, my mom is itty bitty naturally, as is my entire mom's side of the family. my mom is 4'11 95lbs. my grandma had 7 kids and weighed 130 and my greatgrandma had 11 kids and weighed 85!!! (she was also 4'8) so me being fat is such a freakshow to them. :mad:

parents... gotta love em, but man, sometimes you just wanna slug em.

anyhow, *hug* and :clap2: to you for making this life decison!!!

LOL!!! :biggrin1:

Heck..if I did it on my own without the band, I better get FULL CREDIT! LOL....

This seems to be an issue with the people that are not supportive. Dont get me wrong I an lucky to have a great support group of friends and family. But the others that "look down" on the surgery feel that we are getting off easy with having the band. Last time I checked we could still eat lots of baaad stuff with the band, It is our will power and determination that keeps the weight coming off. My father was supportive, but it was the word surgery that made him not want me to do it.

Laurend, you have to want to do this for yourself and yourself only. If your family doesnt understand or not supportive it may be just that they are scared or on the other end, jelouse. Just remember that you have us to lean on. :biggrin1:

I just finally asked her to trust me and if she can't support my decision, I'll leave the topic out of our conversation's if she will and we'll just agree to disagree.

AMEN

But I couldn't take it and finally nailed my mom down and got to the root of the issue. It was that she is afraid of me dying. After hearing a story of her friend dying from stomach stapling, ( back in the late 60's) which I do remember hearing about but was young, I now understand. I'm in the process of educating her about the lap band. Maybe its kind of the same thing with your mom. I know when my mom gets a idea in her head its hard to change. Best of luck

Wow, that sounds like something stupid my mom would say. I wish I could cheer you up, but my only advice is that you learn to ignore those kinds of comments because that's just how she is.

Laurend...I totally get you..it is hard! I am starting a Finding Flabuless blog site...for me to rant and vent about the issues of weightloss etc...I think you might appreciate what I have to say in the introduction go to http://www.snugglesnkuddles.com/intro/intro.html

becky

Becky, I just started a blog this weekend!! I was going to wait to share it, but I'll go ahead. I'm trying to make it inspirational for those banded and informational for those considering the band. I'd love input from any of you.

http://alltheyum.blogspot.com/

Cindy