Hello All,

Well I went to my surgeon finally after months of vomiting 10-20 times a day. I had it in my head I would not go see him about this until I was down to 140lbs in fear he would open my band and i would gain weight. I haven't been able to handle this kinda lifesyle anymore so I made he call oday and hey wanted to see me right away.

My doctor said I look good and even though I have been sick so much that I must be getting something cause of how well I looked. He said I am not living the band lifestyle well. I need to see a pschologist to talk to which I new that. Also going for a swoll study to make sure I did no damage to the band and he said maybe they will open it up a little. I have a 4cc band and am 3cc filled. He also says what i am doin is not eating slow enough so my esopigus is filling up with food causeing me to get sick cause i am not allowing enough time to let some food pass through the band. So since thismorning with my visit I have not comited as of yet. I am real excited about that. I ate a little tuna salad for lunch and followed the rules about when to drink and all went well like m y doc said it would. I just had dinner some meatloaf with mozzarella chesse and procuto wow it was so good but I took 2 bites had to stop for 10 min took 2 more bites now i feel full up to my neck. But I am gonna wait and try to let this pass threw normally i would drink fluids to vomit it up to get rid of that feeling be full up to my neck feeling. This time I am really going to try to work better with this and follow the rules better.

Thsi is just a update from a previous email when I exspressed what I was going threw. Hope everyone is doin well and if anyone else has these types of problems would love to talk about it.

banded may22-215

today -156.5

Cheryl

I'm glad you talked with your doctor about things. Hopefully you'll get back on track real soon. Good luck with everything!

Thanks for your support!!

The whole making yourself vomit thing is a real head game....as a recovering bulimic who still struggles, I know where you are at.

I'd suggest maybe you talk to the therapist who did your psychological ok for surgery and see if you can explore some of what is going on. I mean, losing as much weight as you have is no small matter and it can play tricks on the brain.

It takes a very strong person to be able to ask for help! I hope you do.

In the meantime, we're all here to support you!!

Well I wasn't really making myself vomit I was eating in excess then drinking fluids right after to get rid of the aweful full feeling I have after eating. I look at it as I have already asked for help by going to my surgeon and being honest with him telling him all thats really going on and asking for guidance. I already made a counceling appointment and next week I have the swollow study and maybe get a little looser. The doc who did my psch eval i new him and he said i have a eating disorder but he wouldn't put that in the notes if I really wanted this surgery. I no thats a foul thing to do but I am sure he isn't the first or only doc to do it. Everyone who is overweight in a sense has a eating disorder I believe that anyhow. I would rather not go back to that doc cause he is pill happy and i dont wanna be on any crazy medications. So I thought the counceling would be a good start. I am so far going a whole day without vomiting and I am so happy about it. But this filled up to my neck feeling is rough to stand its very uncomfortable.

I appreciate all your support and thanks for being there.

Well I wasn't really making myself vomit I was eating in excess then drinking fluids right after to get rid of the aweful full feeling I have after eating.

What about this isn't making yourself vomit? If you know that drinking Water will make a PB, you are making yourself vomit.

If you "eat in excess" (<- binging) then take action to make it come up (<- purging) then there is a problem here.

I'm glad to hear you are seeking some help. If the one dr. you know is overly pill happy, then by all means seek the help of another. I, too, didn't want to be put on anti-depressents, and I found a dr. who was willing to work with that.

Look, in all the reasearch I've done, the best results for overcoming an eating disorder is talk therapy. But you have to be willing to do the work. Sounds like you are starting down that road.

I wish you luck. It's a road I've spent quite a bit of time walking.

Well I wasn't really making myself vomit I was eating in excess then drinking fluids right after to get rid of the aweful full feeling I have after eating. If I read correctly, you eat a few bites and feel ok, then eat a few more and feel "filled up to my neck". You need to practice stopping after the first few bites. If you've been doing this for months, and feeling ok, but continuing to eat until you're uncomfortable, you aren't really changing your behaviors, you're just developing undesirable ones to offset them. Why take the extra few bites? By now I'd think you know an average of what you can comfortably eat. Eat that and put the fork down!

I look at it as I have already asked for help by going to my surgeon and being honest with him telling him all thats really going on and asking for guidance. I already made a counceling appointment and next week I have the swollow study and maybe get a little looser. That is asking for help, in a way, but that doesn't mean it's all you have to do and can "sit back" and wait for someone else to figure it out. Work proactively with what you have at your fingertips.

The doc who did my psch eval i new him and he said i have a eating disorder but he wouldn't put that in the notes if I really wanted this surgery. I no thats a foul thing to do but I am sure he isn't the first or only doc to do it. Doesn't make it ok, or mean that it was a smart idea to let him do it. But I'm sure you know that.

I would rather not go back to that doc cause he is pill happy and i dont wanna be on any crazy medications. Sometimes medications are appropriate. I believe in general they're overused, especially with children, but don't automatically rule them out because taking them means you're "crazy". Sometimes they're a very appropriate solution, and the qualified medical professiona you're talking to is the only one who can make that decision.

So I thought the counceling would be a good start. I am so far going a whole day without vomiting and I am so happy about it. But this filled up to my neck feeling is rough to stand its very uncomfortable. Counseling is ALWAYS a good start. As for the uncomfortable feeling, again, why not stop after the few bites that feel ok? Why push yourself to the discomfort?

Honestly, step back and look at yourself a little bit removed. You say it isn't bulemia...

You knowingly eat past the point of comfort.

You then ingest liquids knowing they will "purge" your pouch.

You repeat this 20 times a day?

How is that different from binging (eating past the point of comfort) and then drinking liquids for the sole purpose of causing you to bring up what you forced down?

When you inadvertently eat too much, and then have to PB, or you get stuck and then do something to end the pain - that's not bulemic behavior. Because the intent is missing. But it sounds (from your account, anyway) that you're acting with intent.

Sorry if this is "tough love", but you seem dismissive of some things that might do you well to consider. And in the end, it's about what's best for you.

I feel the need to comment on some of what you have said. I no that I could have not had the surgery after the pschy eval but I really struggeled with yoyo dieting all my life and tried just about everything so I wanted to do this real bad. You no not for nothing but everyone who is obese has some kind of eating disorder or they wouldn't have gotten that way in the start. I really dont no how you can say just take a couple bites and stop don't go past that cause its hard just to stop how do you think myself or you or anyone else on this board had gotten that way to begin with. If it was that easy to just stop eating then why did you or anyone else get the surgery you could just stop eating and loose the weight without the band. And I no more about that doctor since he works at the hospital I work at and so I have a better feel of how he pratices. But yes I could have gotten my eval by someone else but I wanted this band and hey I was willing to do whatever I had to. And I am sure I am not the only one. I have to deal with my eating behavoral problem which was always there to begin with I just can notice it much more now. But not only me everyone has to deal with there eating behavior how do you think people get obese to start.

I am also doing what I have to on a day to day basis tring to live the correct way with the band and I no that I need my band loosened and a swollow atudy so your comment to that just didn't sound right. I love with this everyday and battle this all day there is no way in hell that I am just sitting back.

And yo uno what at least I can admit there is a problem and I am dong something about it.

Maybe I took some of the stuff you said a bit harsh but I feel you are misuinderstood in some of your comments. Its hard to tell when your typing rather then talking face to face to someone so if I took things the wrong way I apologize.

t hats

Cheryl, I'm glad you went to the doctor. You could have really damaged your band. You may see a slight flexuationi in your weight but over time you should be fine. Glad you are feeling better.

Yeah I was hoping on not seeing any weight change but I think its time to focus on living with the band rather then how much weight i am losing. Thanks for your support:-)

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