I knew my husband was having a hard time with my choice for WLS, in the past when we discussed my having wls he'd be less than enthusiastic and downplay it, basically saying I was all talk and wouldn't do it. But he seemed to come around and was supportive, we had some heated conversations, mostly since he thought I'd leave him once I lost my.weight, which I have no desire to, before I love him, yes he is a big guy but I've always been attracted to men like that. I told him, I love him and only him and would never leave him, he seemed to come around and be ok and we'd be ok again. Towards the end of my requirements and pending approval of my surgery it was harder on him I could tell but he was still supportive, we talked about vacations we'd take, more family pictures, renewing our vows and having a baby of our own Adobe muy weight and PCOS made it hard to conceive, and all the things I was afraid to do because of my weight, I was happy and excited about our new life together

But I didn't talk about my Surgery or fears, because I knew his fears were bad too.

So my Surgery was August 19, and in the hospital and home he has been pretty good about getting with the kids, but I handle myself and do most things for myself, but getting out of our new bed which is lower to the ground is challenging at times.

But the last few days he's been distant, and suddenly last night before bed, he just says he is leaving, because he doesn't want to be left and that he knows I'll leave once I've lost my weight. He then got out of bed and went outside to smoke. I was shocked and devastated, I love him, been in love with him for 8 years, we were just about to file the paperwork for him to formally adopt my children from a previous marriage, and now he says he is leaving since he can't handle being left.

My children are involved, they love him deeply and that's their dad and that's my husband, I can't believe I'm not even 2 weeks out and get this dropped on me. He had been asleep all day so I haven't been able to talk to him, I want to go to therapy to try and reassure him and work.through this, I don't want to lose my marriage because he has fears of something I'll never do, or because he's heard other people did that to their spouses once they lost their weight. That's them, not me. I think his so called friends have been telling him this bs and to expect the worst. It's crazy how can people try to destroy a family and put more fear and doubt in a man at a time like this. My husband does have a history of depression, PTSD and bi polor disorder but it's been managed, but I do think he stopped his meds because he wouldn't do this to me otherwise.

If I can't get him to see reason or go to therapy there isn't anything I can do. I'm lost and hurt.

Gia and Kim Sorry you are both going through some rough times relationship wise. Keep your heads up and be proud of what you have accomplished otherwise. Your both beautiful and worth much better treatment than this. Marriage should be forever if only both in the relationship would see it that way. Good luck to you both.

Thanks, I think I'm over the initial shock. If he can't be reasoned with, I'm going to be ok. Never needed a relationship to make me. But I also know if I am single, I have my kids so I'll be good, and if it's meant to be, I'll meet someone who loves me for me, and doesn't have insecurities about my decision to get healthier.

Gia and Kim Sorry you are both going through some rough times relationship wise. Keep your heads up and be proud of what you have accomplished otherwise. Your both beautiful and worth much better treatment than this. Marriage should be forever if only both in the relationship would see it that way. Good luck to you both.

Thank you. Time will make this all much easier to get through. I have went through my initial shock time... My grieving/angry stage... And I'm now ready to move on and do what I need to do for myself and for my daughter. I have been blessed with such a wonderful support system through my friends and family with my surgery, and they all have been supportive with all of this as well... I have no doubt that everything happens for its reasons... There are brighter days ahead.