So, surgery is Monday, which makes today my last day of work. I have a busy weekend planned because I don't want to be sitting around worrying about this or that or the other. I am packed for the hospital. My fridge/freezer/ cupboards are stocked with clear and full liquids. I have completed my living will and power of attorney paperwork (I'm a nurse, so that was an extra that I just felt was necessary). My work desk is cleaner than it has been since i started in this office a year ago.

And I still don't feel totally ready. I read post after post about the pre-op, surgery, and post-op. I know what size bougie my surgeon is using and am aware (although not pleased) that I will have a catheter, and a JP drain post op. (Cath comes out day 1 post op, drain goes home with me for 10 days). I know that my doctor doesn't do the barium leak test, but rather fills the stomach with saline in the OR and checks for bubbles. (Very pleased about that). My daughter knows that she will have to be gentle with mommy's tummy, and that I won't be able to pick her up or carry her for a while. My husband is resigned to the fact that I won't feel like cooking for a week or so, at least. I'm aware that my diet will dramatically decrease and my exercise must dramatically increase! I have struggled with the decision about whether to weigh daily, weekly, monthly, or not at all. I have crossed all my T's and dotted all the i's.

I feel like this is similar to getting married or having a baby. I mean, we can read all the books, educate ourselves, but we won't know how exactly it will affect our lives until it actually affects our lives. Although I can't shake the "not totally ready" feeling, I'm not nervous. (Well, I am nervous about the hospitalization, but that's cuz nurses are the worst patients!) I'm not nervous about the surgery, and I'm only hopeful about the future.

Thanks to all for "listening" and for holding my hand as I am preparing for this MAJOR step in my life.

I've been thinking about doing a living will too. My husband thinks its a little extreme but surgery is surgery and anything can happen. Good luck on your new beginning!

I've been thinking about doing a living will too. My husband thinks its a little extreme but surgery is surgery and anything can happen. Good luck on your new beginning!

Realistically, you could be in an accident on the way to the hospital and not get to your surgery. Not trying to scare you, just saying that it really is important that your wishes are known. Very sad to see the things patients go through when their feelings are not clear. Doctors must error on the side of life unless your wishes are clearly known. (That soapbox sidebar was free!

I am also contemplating all that crazy paperwork, where did you go to have your will done? I don't have an attorney and would just like to get an idea of how to go about that stuff. It needs to be done whether or not I have surg. anyway I figure

I am also contemplating all that crazy paperwork, where did you go to have your will done? I don't have an attorney and would just like to get an idea of how to go about that stuff. It needs to be done whether or not I have surg. anyway I figure

I didn't do a will. Everything I own is (not much) and in joint ownership with my husband. I do know I need to get a will, especially because of having a child now.

The paperwork I did do is called a living will and power of attorney. This indicates what my desires are in case I am ever in a permanent vegetative state or if I "code", or whatever. Also it touches on organ donation and the like. (which makes me wonder- would we be out for "stomach donation" just because our stomach is teeny?)