my plastics are postponed

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I had some anxiety over the surgery i had booked for May 9 - tomorrow, but what tipped the scale is my support person going "off the rails". His brother is near death and the whole thing was just too much stress. Lets be honest, i had big time anxiety and realized that it wasn't actually entirely about the surgery, but my anxiety triggered some past traumas to rear its ugly head.

I decided to postpone by about 6 months and spend the summer enjoying life! And I am going to do EMDR treatment again to deal with those old traumas a bit more.

I hit goal back in February and so have been toying with the idea of trying to lose another 5-10# over the next 4-5 months since my plastics are delayed. Sounds easy, right? sheesh. I don't track food but just have been cutting back a tiny bit and man am I hungry! LOL apparently a small change makes a big difference.

I also started crossfit and that seemed to have triggered appetite.

I had been at a good equilbrium and maintaining so that is my top priority. Dropping a few more is a "nice to have" and more important for me to keep a good stable maintenance. I wish my good nutritionalist was still around - she moved away - as I would like to have a sanity check with someone I trust. When I saw her replacement (once) nice lady ended the meeting by saying "I have learned so much about sleeve patients from you!". I was thinking... i should be the one learning here.... so didn't go back.

I don't really need to lose more weight, I just sorta hoped that the problem areas (inner thighs, belly) would improve in spite of surgeons telling me I just need plastics...sigh

[OneWritersSoul 353]

I had some anxiety over the surgery i had booked for May 9 - tomorrow' date=' but what tipped the scale is my support person going "off the rails". His brother is near death and the whole thing was just too much stress. Lets be honest, i had big time anxiety and realized that it wasn't actually entirely about the surgery, but my anxiety triggered some past traumas to rear its ugly head.

I decided to postpone by about 6 months and spend the summer enjoying life! And I am going to do EMDR treatment again to deal with those old traumas a bit more.

I hit goal back in February and so have been toying with the idea of trying to lose another 5-10# over the next 4-5 months since my plastics are delayed. Sounds easy, right? sheesh. I don't track food but just have been cutting back a tiny bit and man am I hungry! LOL apparently a small change makes a big difference.

I also started crossfit and that seemed to have triggered appetite.

I had been at a good equilbrium and maintaining so that is my top priority. Dropping a few more is a "nice to have" and more important for me to keep a good stable maintenance. I wish my good nutritionalist was still around - she moved away - as I would like to have a sanity check with someone I trust. When I saw her replacement (once) nice lady ended the meeting by saying "I have learned so much about sleeve patients from you!". I was thinking... i should be the one learning here.... so didn't go back. <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />

I don't really need to lose more weight, I just sorta hoped that the problem areas (inner thighs, belly) would improve in spite of surgeons telling me I just need plastics...sigh[/quote']

I'm so far from "goal" that it's not even funny and my head isn't even remotely screwed on straight, but as I read this post Jane it occurred to me that you absolutely have the right attitude about all of this. So, maybe that means squat coming from me, but I say good for you.

Sent from my iPhone 5 using VST

[No game 14,436]

This sounds like the right move for the moment.

Sometimes when there are so many seemingly unrelated road blocks in the way of something, it's a good thing to take a step back and take stock in everything.

While I'm excited for you to take this brave and exciting step, you and I know, it will be there waiting for you in 6 months. Should you still want it.

Jane, I think you are pretty awesome person and have accomplished so much, that you are, in my eyes "perfect" already

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

You have your mind in the right place. I think you're so in tune with what's right when it comes to what and when. I admire you a lot.. I hope you think the same of yourself.

[clk 3,519]

Keep working on it - undergoing a drastic surgery without being in the right place is asking for trouble, so I agree with your choice to delay. I know you were suffering from quite a bit of anxiety. Work on those traumas and put it behind you. No sense being in the body you want if you're not in the right frame of mind.

I think that starting a very strenuous workout regimen at the same time you scale back your calories might be a challenge, though. Don't be afraid to experiment and find what works for you. If you're feeling genuine hunger, that is not surprising if you've worked out very hard and burned almost as many calories as you've consumed in a day. Don't beat yourself up with a strictness you may not need. If it works and you're happy, do it. If it's a struggle every day even after a few weeks, it's time to readjust.

And you know the weight comes off slowly when we're small, so be nice to yourself. My advice (unsolicited, I know) is to use this time to focus on being stronger and getting to the right mental place. I hope that those thighs come along and you don't need plastics for them. Who knows? I still see small improvements showing up in the way my skin lies or in my shape as time goes on, even now while I'm feeling overweight and ungainly. Though if you do dodge the thigh lift bullet, you must post your workout regimen so others can benefit as well! My thighs are much better than they were even a year ago, but it's a hard place to improve easily.

Best -

~Cheri

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Thanks all - Cheri my inner thighs are terrible - no way will working out fix that. I guess I just enjoy being fitter and have this dream that a fitter body will make the plastics that much more successful.

I have never been prone to starving myself, I have very good self preservation instincts - so no worries there! It is more like I am content and maintaining. I do have dinners out, I do eat bigger portions now, I do allow in some carbs etc. The "suffering" involved is more like just getting back to fewer "extras". Like, i don't really need a weekly latte, right?

Intense exercise drives hunger. My NUT counseled me on that and she was right. IT is a tradeoff because I LOVE how I feel when I really sweat and work out. It is better then any therapy session..LOL. I also try to just stay "active" in day to day stuff, but it is hard with a desk job. I am working that balance out and it is a difficult time because i quit the gym and am switching to my summer routine which is much less disciplined then my bad weather gym routine...

I recently started seeing a counselor who does a technique called LifeSpan Integration for trauma resolution. I have had several family members go through horrible medical experiences and I think that my "normal" anxiety actually triggered an exagerated response/recall of that trauma. Reason I say that as i could go through every rational fear about my surgery and feel okay with it, but still had an overriding anxiety. Well, and I woke up one morning in a complete, elephant sitting on chest anxiety... when I touched myself on the chest and felt my bones I flashed back on my little sister as she lay dying, completely emaciated and wasted from the cancer. for a split second, that memory rose to the top.

Then, when i got myself to the point where I was "ok" and could accept that some anxiety is normal and I could still proceed - well, my support person asked me to postpone. I think it just wasn't meant to be right now.

I gotta tell you though, it was depressing trying on swimsuits. Even the little skirts don't cover that inner thigh madness. The surgeons tell me I am lucky because my thigh problem is up high, inner thigh, the very area that surgery can actually help with. My calves, outer thighs and lower inner thighs are pretty good - I can wear dresses above the knees even now and look toned so i am counting my blessings there. I am EXCITED about having that fixed, as well as my torso and arms and have alot of positive thoughts about how normal I will someday look, even in skimpier clothes.

So, my conclusion is that for people who have been really really heavy for a long time (and i lost and regained many times too) - exercise just gives you a toned body under the skin. It is not realistic to think that skin for two will shrink back to skin for one person... at least at my age.