This week has been a complete derail as far as my taking care of myself goes. To make a long story short, my husband is recovering from surgery for testicular cancer. He'll be fine, we're sure, but starting this past Monday it's been a pretty weird week.

The first two days were pretty much worry, then while waiting around during surgery I hit the tray of gourmet Cookies. That was the beginning of the end. We got the diagnosis on Tuesday evening and while we were relieved, since then I've been experiencing an absolute orgy comfort eating. I spent a lot of money at Trader Joe's on Desserts and Snacks, without even trying to stop myself.

Yesterday, after a normal, nutritious Breakfast and lunch, I had: popcorn, LOTS of dark-chocolate-covered raisins, a caramel-pecan turtle (220 calories RIGHT THERE), three oatmeal-cranberry cookies under two or three scoops of vanilla ice cream, and four or five mandarin oranges. Oh, and for dinner I had two "tacos" which were made of tortillas, ground beef, melted cheese and sour cream.

Now I feel like absolute shit. and even worse because the extra energy that being worried gave me is gone. This was NOT a good thing to happen when I have no fill at all.

Blech, blech, and triple blech. Today is another day, and I really have to get a handle on this. Michael is going to be fine, and he's about 80% recovered from the surgery so I don't even have to pull extra duty anymore to make up for his laying on the couch. I have no excuses, and have to somehow regain control of my hand-to-mouth behavior.

Ugh. Thanks for letting me vent. Fill is scheduled for 12/14 and now I have more work to do. Moving right along...

Today was not really a better day, I'm afraid. I had fish and cheese for Breakfast (good intentions), skipped lunch and then spent the afternoon eating popcorn. I have absolutely no restriction and I'm just glad it was only popcorn on offer!

But I learned a painful lesson this evening, when I went to volleyball on just a bellyful of very salty popcorn. After a half hour, I had a VERY painful cramp in my calf that benched me completely! My theory is that it was due to the amount of salt in the popcorn--and the fact that I hadn't had anywhere near enough Water to counteract it. This was two hours ago and I can still feel the cramp!

Sigh. I am really punishing myself and there's no good reason for it. What am I doing?

And thanks, everyone, for the good wishes for my husband. He went to work today and was able to spend the day effectively. He's happy--the worst thing about this whole ordeal was, for him, the time he had to take off from work!

Alexandra..I'm happy to read that your husband is ok and also happy to read that your "OOOPS" day is over and done with. Take a deep breath and focus on you and why you got the band in the first place. We know the band can't fix our head so we have to fight ourselves..and fight hard. You are a strong woman and you have control.

Alexandra,

Glad to hear your husband is doing better. I thought you might enjoy a little levity during this stressful time. I was eating dinner with my teenage twin boys tonight when a commercial for the Lap-band came on TV. They have only recently started here in Little Rock and I keep waiting for them to say "Hey Mom, why don't you get one?". Obviously, they don't know I already have one . . . I already get enough shit from them about everything else. : )

Anyway, they misheard the narration and one boy said "I didn't know you could lose weight getting a lap dance?" I thought I was gonna spit out my soup! I just rolled my eyes but they thought they were very clever. I thought to myself that I'm sure there wouldn't be any heavy men if that were the case.

Hang in there. I've only had my band 3+ months compared to your 3+ years. It is hard to stay focused from time to time so cut yourself a little slack. Tomorrow is another day.

PatU

Alex,

Sorry about your hubby. Mine is not sick, but has been unemployed since summer, so I am having trouble to lose all the weight I gained since my PS last year. I am maintaining and right now, thats the most important thing. Dont be so hard on yourself. You are a very strong person and you can get through this. Fill time is soon......

Babs in TX

334/190 ish

Alex... Don't be too hard on yourself. Hearing the word Cancer can turn your life upside down and even after the prognosis, etc. it still leaves lingering effects because it shocks and scares you to your very core. Hang in there. You'll get back on the wagon. You've done a great job so far. Just give yourself a little bit of mental/emotional recovery time.

I echo Jack...sending you a dose of power......

I didn't have time to read the other posts, I will when I get home. But until then, I want to extend (((hugs))) to you. I hope things are getting better. Remember a fill is right around the corner. ~Mandy