Looking for some guidelines or etiquette practices. Or just general opinions.

We loaned a digital camcorder to a friend of DH's. Camcorder never made it back to us. Friend is a good guy and offered to buy us a replacement, or give us an amount of money toward an upgrade.

Camcorder was older, about 5 years, but only used 3 or 4 times. Fat me would never let it come out of the bag b/c then I might have to face the facts of my huge ass. We paid a high price for it, which is really irrelevant since they've dropped so much in price and it's once hi-tech features aren't all that "hi" anymore.

So what's the right way to handle this in terms of replacing the camera? Do we find a modern day camera with a similar set of features, and base what Friend "owes us" on that? Or does Friend "owe us" based on the current value of the camera, which is really low since it's an older, discontinued model? E.g. if we could go and buy a modern camera with similar features and it would cost $500, should Friend pay $500? Or should he pay, say - $150 toward the $500, because maybe we could have sold the camcorder for that amount?

Hrmm...

Hum, how about splitting the difference? In your example, friend pays half of the $350 difference between what replacing the camera would cost you and what the old one was worth.

How does one lose a camcorder? Honestly, I don't think you are the one responsible for coming up with a fair price. Friend, if he was well-versed in etiquette, wouldn't be trying to bargain. He would be telling you to go to bestbuy.com and pick out a new camcorder.

But that's in a perfect world. I personally don't feel comfortable asking people for money, even when they owe it to me. If Friend doesn't do what I suggested above, I would leave the amount up to him. If he asked me again what I wanted, I would just say "whatever you think is fair." But I'm not that assertive when it comes to accepting money, so my answer might not suit your style/preferences.

So if the old camera is worth $200, and the new one would cost $400, the difference is $200, so Friend pays $100 and we pay $300? Not a bad suggestion, just wanting to make sure I understand.

So if the old camera is worth $200, and the new one would cost $400, the difference is $200, so Friend pays $100 and we pay $300? Not a bad suggestion, just wanting to make sure I understand.

I don't think I typed what I really meant!

OK, in the above example, the friend would pay $200 for the value of the old camera. He would also pay $100 of the $200 difference between the old and the new, for a total of $300 of the $400 the new one costs.

My thinking was that splitting the "extra" cost made sense. Since you would be getting a newer, probably better camera. But that the friend pay some towards that because he lost the old one, forcing you to replace it before you might have chosen to.

Does that make more sense?

I used to be a claims adjuster. There are two types of coverage: replacement cost and fair market value. Depending on what you paid for the policy (or you could say, how much you value the friend), ask for enough money to buy a new camcorder (top of the line, if that's what you had), or ask for fair market value (what the camera would bring if you sold it on e-bay). Don't ask for the amount you paid for the camera if it's more than a new camcorder costs. It's not nice to gouge your friends, only insurance companies.

And StrawartS, can I borrow some money?

Only if you use it to buy some less revealing clothing. You're making the rest of us look bad.

Friend is a good friend and a good guy, and far more valuable that a camera we hardly ever use. Actually our first response was, "Don't worry about it" - but this is at his insistance.

Since you weren't really intending to collect on the camcorder anyway, I defer to one of my original suggestions. Profusely insist that Friend compensate you in any way he finds fair. Maybe it's my own idiosyncracies, but the idea of explaining a complex reimbursement formula to Friend is contradictory to the notion that you're not all that concerned about being compensated for your loss.

The conversation, in the StrawartS Telenovela, would go like this:

Friend: Wheetsin, I deeply regret losing your camera. Please tell me how I can repay you.

Wheetsin: Oh, Friend, as I've told you before, you don't owe me anything. I know that you didn't intend to lose the camera/sit on the camera/drop the camera in the bathtub/sell the camera for condom money. And anyway, it's so hard to estimate a value for the damn thing since technology changes so quickly. If you really feel obliged to do something, I'll gratefully accept any amount you think is fair.

*Wheetsin and Friend look passionately into each others' eyes and move closer together. The music swells in the background. Friend reaches for Wheetsin, but the time-traveling machine with which he is to embark on a secret government mission to search for alternative fuel sources is about to leave. Friend gives Wheetsin one last longing glance before Voltor, the leader of the secret mission, closes the door to the time machine. Wheetsin is left alone, sad, and camcorder-less.*

Friend is a good friend and a good guy, and far more valuable that a camera we hardly ever use. Actually our first response was, "Don't worry about it" - but this is at his insistance.

If you don't set a price, he will probably go out and buy the most expensive camcorder he can find to replace it.

I once missed a plane and paid double time for a glass company to replace a door my son had broken at a friend's motel, out of state. It was Sunday afternoon, and I wasn't leaving there until I got that door fixed. My friends said, "Don't worry about it", too. But because I was their friend, I did "worry about it".

*Wheetsin and Friend look passionately into each others' eyes and move closer together. The music swells in the background. Friend reaches for Wheetsin, but the time-traveling machine with which he is to embark on a secret government mission to search for alternative fuel sources is about to leave. Friend gives Wheetsin one last longing glance before Voltor, the leader of the secret mission, closes the door to the time machine. Wheetsin is left alone, sad, and camcorder-less.*

Gee, StrawartS, you should write bodice-rippers.

*Wheetsin and Friend look passionately into each others' eyes and move closer together. The music swells in the background. Friend reaches for Wheetsin, but the time-traveling machine with which he is to embark on a secret government mission to search for alternative fuel sources is about to leave. Friend gives Wheetsin one last longing glance before Voltor, the leader of the secret mission, closes the door to the time machine. Wheetsin is left alone, sad, and camcorder-less.*

LOL-you should be writing books! Sci-fi romance.

:clap2:

Wow! Romance and advice all in one neat package. Cool.

Sorry, Wheetsin, I didn't mean to jack up your thread. It's a slow day.

Come on y'all, come up with some better advice.

I struggle with questions like this often, but I think this one is clear cut. He needs to replace the lost item in kind. Pick out a modern equivalent cam and tell him that is the one you want.

If it were me and I was in that situation...of being the one who misplaced It i would buy and modern equivalent hey digital cameras are gettting better and cheaper. I don't want to be accused of being a cheap ass though...its more than just the financial value of the thing you were inconvenienced because a piece of technology that you did have, and used you don't have anymore because of your friends negligence so he should replace the technology in total....no sharing costs it was his fault...