I had to see my gastric doc today even though I've been avoiding her since I had my first colonoscopy 2 years ago, a colonoscopy that was never satisfactorily completed. This was the colonoscopy from hell. It appears that I have an unusually long and twisty colon and the team that was hanging out inside my butt was not at all generous with the kind of meds that are supposed to keep the whole experience light and fun. Anyhow, they never did manage to see the end of my colon even though they made a number of runs at it and kept me in the colon room for a really long time. (I know that they kept me there for an abnormally long time because the recovery nurse told me so.)

The upshot of the failed colonoscopy was that she wanted me to have a barium enema. Her office made the appointment. I cancelled. I was traumatised, you see.

So since my last visit my kid brother has died of bowel cancer and that increases my own odds exponentially and I have an enlarged liver to boot.

I had to see her today and I had to tell her about the lapband. Turns out that I am her first ever lapband patient. She knew nothing much about it. And because I am not morbidly obese, she wanted to know why I didn't just diet and exercise. Why did I spend 16Gs on surgery? She was starting to treat me like a nut. I was starting to feel like a nut and defensive as well.

Then she feels my liver and boy does it feel fat! It seems that fat people often have fat livers. Mine is a monster! It is almost a third over sized. I am horrified by the news about my liver. As for my bowel, I feel kinda casual. This doc is interested in 'em both but more interested in the bowel.

Going to a specialist is always stressful but I guess I found that I was extra stressed by having to both explain and defend my choice of weight loss surgery over simple diet and exercise. To tell you the truth, this left a bit of a foul taste in my mouth. I did let her push my port though. :rolleyes

Urgh!

the "scrapy" sound/feeling is even worse....when the needle scrapes along the surface of the port lookin' for the hole!

Yuck, Yuck, Yuck, I got the shivers. I too, do not like to feel my port. Like if I bend over a chair or something leans into it, I can feel it. Yucky feeling. It is wonderful how we have access to adjust the bands, but yes the whole fill thing is creepy.

green, I know you're still alive!

green, I know you're still alive!

Omigawd, grrl, you must have dug deep in the archives in order to find my grumblings! Yep! I am still alive but winter has made me cranky and depressed, my house plants look thin and ratty, one of my cats is dying from failing kidneys, and I am still going to physio twice a week for my torn rotator cuffs.:cry Yah, the other shoulder also blew out. And my dh's father has been in very poor health. In fact there was a point when we thought that he was dying. He is now getting better and that is a good thing but we will have to have our cat put to sleep sometime very, very soon.:think This isn't going to be easy.

So I haven't been feeling all that fabulous and when I suggested to my shrink that he give me more antidepressants he flatly turned me down. :phanvan But I have been trying to follow all the events in Canuck Corners. I know that Yoda's got homeowner grief:cry and that Mr. Yoda is going to become one of us. And I know that Cloe has got pissitis bad and that it won't leave.:cry And that we have more Canucks on board.:clap2: :clap2: :clap2: Bienvenue a tous. And that you have got a new mattress and must be having lots of fun...sleeping.:heh:

Hi Green! I am one of the newbies. Merci!

Susan

Awwe Green, I'm sorry your feeling sooo yucky:huggie: .

This is the worst time of year. Especially cause it decided to be winter again. You have some very valid $hit happening. It's very sad about your kitty, it's frustrating as heck about your shoulder problems, and all the crap ya gotta deal with.

Remember, my Grampa always said to me, "the pedulem(sp?) always swings both ways", before you know it you'll feel better. I think allowing yourself to really feel the sadness helps you feel better faster.

Cut yourself some slack. Be good to yourself, were all thinking of ya.

Lottsa group huggies for Green....

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

Hang in there Green...Cloe is right....the pendulum will swing back.

Soooo sorry to here about your cat....kidney failure? I assume that is a result of the tainted pet food; it has unfortunately hit so many people and their pets.

Take care!!

Thanx a lot everyone. I do have problems with depression - it's something that runs in my family - and I am affected by lack of sun. I do have a SAD light but even so....

And watching my cat die is very tough. He is only 9 and he has had limited exposure to the food on the tainted food list, as has the other cat and she is far too frisky, and so I don't know whether his failing kidneys are a result of the food or not. He is skin and bones and depressed most of the time and we really are delaying pulling the plug for reasons of our own grief, I guess. He is an animal with which I have always had a close bond. This makes this very painful for me.

To make things worse my brother and my mother died around this time two years ago, my brother in February and my mother in April.

You certainly have a lot on your plate Green. I too have battled depression and I know how easy it is to slip into it. I don't know you, but I support you. Keep your head up and try to stay above it.

Susan

:confused:

Hi there from another newbie!!

Depression isn't fun and winter can really make it harder especially when I look out my window and see it snowing again.... or should I say still...lol it seems like it has been winter for years here in Edmonton. I wonder if it will ever stop....

Glad you came out to say hello!

Thanx, grrls. Where are you getting banded? I got mine at TLBC Sept 7, 2006.

so, you can feel the port outside of your body? ahhhh, is it uncomfortable?

P.S. Green sorry about your liver and your brother.

Hang in there Green.Better days ahead,

green, that all really sucks. I'm sorry, but I ditto everything that these guys already said My 15 yr old Sam had to be put to sleep a couple years ago for the same reason, it was tough, and I did the same thing with keeping him around for a little longer... the vet said at that point he wasn't feeling a thing. Ugg... still makes me cry just thinking about it all. That's enough! So I know how that part feels

I'm glad you're still keeping up with us... come and say hi now and then, ok? And yes, I did go pretty far back to find this sucker!

Take care of yourself

Mandi