Fellas,

I'm getting sleeved in just over 2 weeks. Doing pretty good pre-op so far, but had a major slip up this weekend when I invited some buddies over for football. I'm back on track now, but it got me to thinking just what I'd tell the guys when I'll be around them soon eating practically nothing and sipping on Protein shakes and broth every quarter.

I've seen plenty of topics on this site about whether to tell your spouse/partner/GF/co-workers, etc. But what about the guys? You know what I'm talking about.

Here's how I envision that conversation goes down:

Me: Guys, I want to talk to you all about something.

Buddy #1: We know, your fantasy team sucks. Quit bitching about it!

Me: No, not that. Something serious.

Buddy #2: Is it cancer?

Me: No, nothing like that.

Buddy #3: Then it's not serious. Put your nuts back on

Me: No seriously guys. Listen, I'm planning on having WLS

Buddies #1, 2, 3, and 4: .......................(stunned silence) ..................................................

Me: Um, guys... Hello? what do you guys think?

Buddies #1, 2, 3, and 4: ............................(more stunned silence)..........................................

Me: I've been thinking about this for a long time, and I've decided to go through with it. It's the best decision for me, my health, and to get my life back

Buddy #4: I didn't realize you had a vagina

Me: Hey, that's not fair.

Buddy #2 (to Buddy #4): Yeah, that's not right dude.

Me: Thanks for the voice of support man

Buddy #2: No, I mean, I think we already knew you had a vagina.

Me: Uncalled for dude.

Buddy #1 (to Buddies #2 and 4): Guys, lay off him.

Me: (Not saying thanks, just waiting for the punchline....)

Buddy #1: I mean, it's probably just his time of the month.

Me: (And there it is). All right, you guys suck. I'm outta here.

Buddy #3 (yelling out as I leave): Hey, give Randy Jackson my best, dog!

DOOR SLAMS SHUT. <END SCENE>

So I ask you men: What have you told the fellas about your surgery and weight loss?

Maybe you have been preparing for the worst and it wont come to that. In any case, I think you should do it fast, and not give them time to come up with smart ass comments... Like "Hey guys, Im having weightloss surgery. Keep negative comments to yourself and if you have any questions, Google it." Like waxing... One fast tug and its done. Best of luck!

Bwa Ha Ha, this is great. After all the crap (pretty much exactly like OneManWolfpack described) (and I HOPE he's developing a screenplay with this scene in it!). I said "So let me describe what they're gonna do..." in bloody & gory detail. By the time of "and then they pull most of the stomach outta the hole and throw it away" they were both quiet and green!

I literally have told hundreds of people via Facebook, at work, etc. Have only had two negative reactions, both from guys. One was unfortunately a good friend who went "full d*ckhead" on me. We've rarely talked since January, but, being guys, we're starting to get back in touch and will probably never mention his stupidity (at least while sober ). The other was from a really, really overweight guy who scoffed at what I did and said he believes in losing weight the "right way." Um, yeah, well, good luck, dude...whatever, um, works for you.

People ask now, and I tell them that I lost it from, "Diet, exercise and weight loss surgery." It's not a lie...my surgeon wasn't the one who dragged his ass on the elliptical for 40 minutes+ tonight! He just gave me a tool to use, and I'm using it. hehehehe "He said tool."