I am scheduled for Sept. 5th and honestly I'm not afraid at all. I think this is the first time in my life I am not afraid of something. I've been thinking about the surgery for 2 years and when BCBS approved the sleeve I decided this was the time. I've been going through the process since January and have my date I am ready mentally but the problem is my family.

Nobody wants me to have it. I have 3 girls 19, 16, and 13 plus my husband (who hasn't been such a great one for 20 years). They all say I am being selfish. I am afraid I will not have the support I need once I have the surgery. I have given my life for my family and whenever I need to do something for myself I put it off. I thought they would be happy for me. All of the support meeting and things I've had to go through to get approved constantly said you need a good support system.

I work full time and take care of all the housework. I have started to make everyone accountable for chores for the past couple of months but it's been a battle. I think I started to late and I should wait until they can handle this. I keep getting constant remarks that I'm taking the easy way out. I know this is not easy believe me. I have battled with my weight my whole life and have lost and gained enough weight, I want it to stop.

Please I know I have done the damage of not making them more responsable and I realize that now. Like I said It's been a tough 20 years and I thought if I just did it all they wouldn't notice the bad things.

If any other Mothers have had this problem I would like a little help.

Thank you,

I am so happy you are not postponing your surgery!!

I have been thinking about you and had to check the string to see what you had decided. I'm so happy that you have been able to get your daughters on the same page and they realize how important this is to and for you. Your husband sounds like a lot of guys I know. They want to always seem strong and sure of themselves, while inside they're frightened and unsure because they can't be the one to fix the situation. I hope he's able to come around and see that this is something you need to do for you, and his best course to "help" you get "fixed" is to support you the best he can while you recover.

Good luck and congrats on finding a way to make it happen for you!!

Hi - thanks for sharing a tough story and decision...

I'm a mother of a 12-year old daughter, married for almost 25 years, and I also work full-time... I take care of my mom too... I love caring for my family (who are very independent)... I decided to move forward with this surgery because I knew that if I didn't make the change, I had a real risk of not being around for them in the long-term... I needed to take care of myself first... then I could continue to help out the ones I love in a meaningful way... I want to be around for my daughter the way my mom is around for me.., that meant I had to change my health status.

My husband took a few days off work for me... we timed the procedure so my daughter could be at home with me to help me out (she was a huge help) and my mom made sure she was free to be with me too. They really helped me get through the first 10 days (which were the hardest for me mentally, the physical stuff was not bad at all)...

I hope that you can make your decision (whatever it may be) with 100% confidence and that you can be contented and happy with it... ) Personally speaking, it was the best thing I have ever done for myself and for my family. We are all eating healthy now and exercising together.

I wish you all the best! Good luck!

- Sarah