funny stuff.

>

>

>

> Subject: Baked Beans

>

> >One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became

> >apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up

> >beans.

>

> >Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home

> >from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and

> >told him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I

> >passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I

> >could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any

> >ill

> >effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and

> >before

> >I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the

> >way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.

> >

> >Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see! me and exclaimed

> >delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."

> >

> >He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I

> >took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the

> >telephone rang.

> >He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and

> >went to answer the call.

> >

> >The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the

> >pressure

> >was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room

> >I

> >seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go.

> >It

> >was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running

> >over

> >a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and

> >fanned the air around me vigorously.

> >

> >Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink

> >was worse than cooked cabbage.

> >

> >Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room,

> >I went on like this for another few minutes.

> >The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone

> >farewells

> >signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more

> >times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on

> >it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.

> >

> >My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband

> >returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked

> >through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.

> >

> >At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests

> >seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

> >

> >I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't stop laughing!! This is the most hilarious thing I have ever read in my entire life!!! :pound:

love it!

Its been a long time since Ive read it. Thanks for the laugh!!!

Laughing out loud.....I love it!!!

The child within me loves a good fart joke!!! Fatastic, first time I've laughed all day! Thanks!