Hello everyone :]

Im new here, and my names Desirae.

Today was my second day on my pre surgery liquid diet. I feel as if im looseing a friend, as sad as it sounds. My stomache hurts, and has for the past few days. My body is like "Whoa?! what are you doing?" I think. I wanted surgery, and I know in the end It will be one of the best choices I've ever made,but this is so hard. Protine is awful! I find comfort knowing after surgery I have more to choose from and don't have to do awful shakes. (trying not to cry right know, phew..) I feel i should share my story real quick..

Im 17 (im 18now) ,and for a long as i can remember I have been big. Ive always been differnt and looked at like i was a zombie. Growing up though,i never felt different,it wasnt untill i turned about 10 when i relized peoples glares,and pointing and how differnt i looked in the mirror but how i felt no differnt at all. I went through a moment in my life where i hated myself. I didnt like who i was,i felt alone like "who would want to be with the fat chick...that's all ill ever be"somehow, i brought myself up from the hole i dug myself in,with lots of help,of course. Ive grown alot since then,and like most people have tried everyyyyy thing to get in shape. Pill,diet plans,south beach,curves...i went went as far and raiseing money for two years to go to weight loss camp in Wisconson for month. Dont get my wrong,these things work for many people...but not for me. So i decided being a Jr in highschool at the time i needed to change and start anew in college. For the past 10months,ive been going though a program though U of M (hospital not college >.<) Its called MPOWER.. Its for young adults and teens who are overweight and need to change there lifestyles. Ive been changeing my life from how i think,to what i eat to how to train my brain to work in my favor. Just recently i was approved by the team of experts at U of M that they feel Gastric Bypass surgery is best for me. I had to go through the mpower program (6months) for them to even concider approveing becuase im 17,and gastric is an adult surgery. Now im going though the process of getting everything i need to get done,done so i can have surgery (billing,support groups,blood test..ect) . My Surgery date...December 14. HOLY CRAP! ...im shakeing in my freaken boots! am i excited...heck yeah. am i scared as hell? yeah...i mean im not afraid of dieing,everyone always askes if im afraid of the surgery itself. Even though i was told when they knock me out heck im really gonna be out,i wont be able to even breath on my own,yet im still not scared of dieng;and trust me ive though about it,but thats another blog. I will die trying to accomplish what some people never do,what some of the most beautiful people dont have...Inner happiness! Amongst all the other reasons i want surgery....i wanna be comfortable in my own skin. I wanna feel beautiful...>.> anyway,im afraid of the life style change. Going to one extream to another..its my worst fear. i fear i will fail..im terrified of faileing and gaining my weight back and throwing away a year of work,gas,tears,pain suffering,money...i just pray everyday,i can do this..and for thoese of you who read this.

Well, that never happend. Becuase i was only 17 insurence denyed me. IT felt like being pushed down onto the pavement..and i gave up inside. months later after a year into my program my mom got a call saying because i was 18 now, insurence gave there approval! My emotions hit me hard. I was suppost to have surgery in April,but that was cancled as well due to the fact the surgernt doing my surgery needs to be acompanied by another and there was not one to be with him. So this is how i got here..My surgery is the july 24. Im terrifed, about everthing. I feel almost outcasted becuase everyones so afraid to eat knowing i can't. My craveings for food are ridculous..and i cry myself to sleep knowing i have to force feed myself the awful shakes. I never expected surgery to be a walk in the park, but i just pray i have enough strength to do this..

You're going to be quite the inspiration to other young people to take control of their eating lives, and stop letting it control you. I considered weight loss surgery years ago, but convinced myself I could lose it on my own. I failed. So, like so many others here, my only regret so far is not doing this sooner.

Awe sweetie so glad you are home and on you way to recovery. We are all rooting for you and by the way you are Beautiful!!!

Wow- I'm only going to repeat what everyone else has said but you, my dear, are an inspiration to us all. Thank you for sharing your story- one in which many of us relate to im sure. Glad to hear surgery went well- do keep us posted.

There is a weight loss camp on Wisconsin???? R u from there?

Xxx

it is inspiring to hear your story so thank you for sharing, i'm also 16 and just taking the first steps to get surgery.at the same its a little hard to hear they shot you down because you were 17 but in the end it worked out so that's really great

wishing you luck!

OMG!! You are such an inspiration. I am glad your surgery went well. You are young and have such great will power to work at what you want and believe is the best thing for you. I know you will be very successful. Congratulations on being a strong young woman. Keep up posted on your progress.

Evening loves :]

So surgery went well' date='as for everyone else I am praying for you<3 I only spent 2days in the hospital because i was doing so well. Now im home resting, doing some mild walking as well. Thats the hardest part ..like, i never realized how much i take doing the simplest things like showing for granted. That stuff is hard to do on my own, but im healing well and am looking forward to the future. Thank you loves<3[/quote']

Keep us updated..remember give yourself time to heal and exercise will help once you have healed! Take care, God Bless, & good luck! You can do this!

Wow- I'm only going to repeat what everyone else has said but you, my dear, are an inspiration to us all. Thank you for sharing your story- one in which many of us relate to im sure. Glad to hear surgery went well- do keep us posted.

There is a weight loss camp on Wisconsin???? R u from there?

Xxx

awe thank you :] and yes its Called Wellspring. I looked into it a long time ago, i was like 11. I had to raise 6thousdand dollars for me to go for a month. I was on my local radio twice and worked hard for the money for two years. It was an experince of a lifetime, but it wasnt realistic. THey had us moveing constatnly from 6am ...no real person does that, they have school, work, kids even. I lost 37pounds in a month, came home (Im from Saginaw,Michigan) mantained my weight for 4months and school just took over and i slowly slumped back into my old ways.

Hello love :} How is everyone doing? Well, i hope! If not..tomrrows a new day. A little update for my online family im almost two weeks out and doing well. Im getting stronger everyday and go tuesday for my two week check up! later next week i move on to the Pureed diet and am excited for flavor! i miss flavor lol what where your fav things to eat on pureed? or in any stage really..Im trying to put together a recipie folder for when i can eat pureed and soilds again. In other news i hopped on the scale yesterday and was happy to see im down 12pounds! :] making me down 34 pounds in the past three weeks :] yay!

it is inspiring to hear your story so thank you for sharing, i'm also 16 and just taking the first steps to get surgery.at the same its a little hard to hear they shot you down because you were 17 but in the end it worked out so that's really great

wishing you luck!

awe thanks dear :] I was 16 when i started my journey too :] If you text i'd be willing to trade numbers and we can keep in touch. keep each other strong :]

awe thanks dear :] I was 16 when i started my journey too :] If you text i'd be willing to trade numbers and we can keep in touch. keep each other strong :]

That'd be so great thank you