Tomorrow I fly to MX and then my surgery is the next day. I'm stressed. I'm not looking forward to the poking and proddding that always accompanies surgery. But I'm surprised by what is really upsetting me: the realization that I won't be able to able to eat a big plate of food and feel really full, like I can't eat any more. How much that is upsetting me is making me realize how emotional it is for me to be able do that. Its not about the tast of the food or satiating my hunger. Its the eating a lot and getting full that I've been going after.
A lot of pyschologists have theorized that when you overeat there is some psychological reason for it: an unhappy childhood, anxiety, whatever. And maybe there's something to that theory for some people. But I theorize that there is some sort of chemical that is released into the body when you fill your stomach up like that and its the chemical itself that gives you a feeling of pleasure and that some of us are predisposed to dependency on this chemical. Fen-phen worked well because it acted on certain chemical receptors in the brain. Too bad Fen-phen kills you, but I think the drug was a step in the right direction.
Tomorrow I fly to MX and then my surgery is the next day. I'm stressed. I'm not looking forward to the poking and proddding that always accompanies surgery. But I'm surprised by what is really upsetting me: the realization that I won't be able to able to eat a big plate of food and feel really full, like I can't eat any more. How much that is upsetting me is making me realize how emotional it is for me to be able do that. Its not about the tast of the food or satiating my hunger. Its the eating a lot and getting full that I've been going after.
A lot of pyschologists have theorized that when you overeat there is some psychological reason for it: an unhappy childhood, anxiety, whatever. And maybe there's something to that theory for some people. But I theorize that there is some sort of chemical that is released into the body when you fill your stomach up like that and its the chemical itself that gives you a feeling of pleasure and that some of us are predisposed to dependency on this chemical. Fen-phen worked well because it acted on certain chemical receptors in the brain. Too bad Fen-phen kills you, but I think the drug was a step in the right direction.