I started researching this on 7/1, which is when I found this board :clap2: . I told DH that night that I was considering having this done, explained how the procedure worked, highlighted adjustable & removeable, and his response was "talk to me once you're closer".

I attended a seminar 7/18, invited DH to come but he had a schedule conflict. We talked that night briefly about what I had learned.

I had my consultation on 7/31, and when I got home DH asked why I am rushing into this. He thinks that I should spend 3 months trying a heavy duty - boot camp style exercise program before resorting to this :faint: . Over the past 10 years I have tried just about everything, including many years of phentermine, xenical, etc. I hired a personal trainer to prepare for a triathlon, which I completed, and I have spent years in WW meetings. I'm still the same 225 lbs that I was 10 years ago!

How have others here turned around reluctant spouses? I honestly don't believe a new exercise program is going to get me to lose 80 lbs. I know exercise is a key part of losing weight with the band, and keeping it off. But not changing my eating habits will not allow me to be successful.

I know I'm venting here...but I don't know what else to do to get him on board. My insurance approved me and i have a date of 9/18.

My husband was very nervous about the idea of me having any kind of voluntary surgery. However, the more he listened to the information I found while researching the band the more informed he became about the risks and the potential benefits. Of course he was still very nervous when I went into surgery, but having his questions and fears addressed prior to surgery helped him relax and support my decision to be banded.

Here is an hour long video that you might get hubby to watch with you. It shows an actual band surgery and the surgeons also go over a great deal of information about the band, the surgery, the post op expectations, etc. You might also go over this list of questions with your husband and get the answers from your Doctor. Having so much knowledge could help you both feel more in control about the decision. Best of luck to you.

The video:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3190472028990485080&q=lap+band

The questions for your Dr:

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=15595

My husband was not immediately supportive either. His mentality was that of "I love you the way you are. You don't need surgery". But on the other hand, he was also well aware of how much I hated being fat.

I began my research and brought him along with me to meet various surgeons. After a few visits I think he realized I was not being impulsive (a trait I tend to covet) but was actually desperate for a change.

Pointing out the statistic that only 1% of morbidly obese people are able to loose their excess weight AND keep it off without surgical intervention, was a great selling point to him (and me). Maybe it will help with your hubby as well.

Anyway, long story short - eventually he came around when he realized I was doing this for ME. It had nothing to do with him loving me the way I was.

And I agree that a big reason many spouses are not supportive is because they fear losing you during surgery....

GOOD LUCK TO YOU!!!!!

I'd suggest telling him how you would love his support during this time. It is something that you want to do feel better and get healthy. Tell him how important it would be for you to have someone, that you loved ,behind you. When he is ready to ask questions, just be there with the answers. He just may come around.

Good luck. Shawn