I am sorry but I just need to vent and cry. Yesterday was such a bad day.

In the morning, I found my car was very low on oil. Almost to the point of blowing up the enginge. My gardener was trained by a mechanic and told me he had been checking it every day. I had to sit him down and tell me if he doesn't understand to let me know. I can't afford to replace an engine. He told me I had a problem and had made a mistake and needed to go to church. Later, I realized that he has a problem with pronouns and may have meant he had the problem.....

Last night, I took some college girls that are visiting Malawi out for dinner. When it came time to pay the guards watching the vehicle, all I had was a $500MK bill - about $3. So I gave it to the head guard. A street beggar saw it and grabbed a bench and tried to hit the guard with it. And a big fight erupted. All because I gave too big of a tip and the beggar thought the guards should share it with him.

Some days I struggle alot. This is the first day I have really woke up in a tither and crying and just thought venting here would help. Thanks for being here. I hate burdening people with these things but just typing it is sometimes a relief. In a couple of days, I'm sure I will be laughing over it. Celeste

Vent and cry here all you need to. It will be better tomorrow.

(((hugs)))

I am a bit of a lurker in the background, am active in the April Bandits, but have seen your threads around a lot and read them, I think it is amazing and you are banded and so far from home, I really admire you. I am here in New Zealand, spend most of my time travelling overseas for work and I am struggling, don't even know how you must be coping with lack of food etc, wanted to write this to say there are many here who know who you are and are with you.

I hope things are better today, it is hard being hard overseas, there is so much poverty, it kills me sometimes,

but love to read about your adventures,

hope you are better now

Love Amourette!!!!:confused:

I admire you for being able to go places and live all by yourself. I know it must be hard not knowing anyone, and having a language difference at the same time. Hang in there, when things get too tough, just do what you did this time and come here for support.

Hello Road Queen,

First of all, I think you are really brave, and I admire your courage in getting up and moving to a different country. What an enriching experience for you. Things are different in different countries, culturally, linguistically, socially. These are all things that you are having to learn to cope with, and you're bound to have ups and downs. I grew up in Africa (Zimbabwe and South Africa), and have lived for extended periods in the US, UK, Taiwan and have now been in France for 16 years. The only thing I can say to you is that you will look back on these various incidents and laugh about them (even though they make you want to cry right now). You're going to have a nice break in the US shortly, if I understood rightly from previous posts of yours. Enjoy every minute of your vacation and take that time to get some distance from the things that bother you about living in Africa. When you return to Malawi, you'll be all the more able to deal with those things. I, too, enjoy reading about your experiences, so keep on posting about them, and don't feel so alone - there are lots of people out here in the cyberworld sending hugs your way:grouphug:....

Regards,

Deana.

When I first read that you were moving to Africa I was just amazed. I'm not brave enough to do that. You are doing what people only dream about. You travel and work everywhere.

I am sorry you are down((((hhhuuugggsss)))) but when you wake up, it will be a fresh new day and your blessings begin all over again. Just think, you have so many, you would be counting all day. Share with us what you love about traveling and being in Africa now.

With your good attitude and brave nature, you are probably laughing about this already! If not, then I hope the skies have cleared a bit, and maybe you're feeling a little better.

Thanks for "coming home" even if just for a bit, and posting so we can cyber-hug you!

How long will you be there, and, sorry if I should know this, why are you there?

Hugs, Cindy

Thanks for the support everyone. I am starting to feel a little better. From what I understand, I will go through periods of this as part of the adjustment to living abroad. In addition, I am going through the normal stress everyone has with their jobs.

I am the resident budget advisor to the Minister of Finance for Malawi (in other words, providing advice on the country's budget). My focus is to provide technical expertise to help them improve their budget process, funding requests from ministries, budget recommendation to parliament, and tracking the expenditures to ensure compliance with the approved budget.

For this project, I am also part of a large team (about 20 people) who are here to fight corruption, improve the lives of Malawians, work on long-term economic stability, etc. If the country meets the project objectives, there will be alot of funding available to improve the plight of this place.

I actually work in the country's Budget Office. I am the only 'white woman' on capital hill. During a typical day, I will not see another American. Heck, during a typical week, I won't. And my only friend I had met here finished her assignment in Africa last week.

So thanks for being my support group. Celeste

Celest! I'm hoping that you are laughing about this already! I am just picturing the bru-ha-ha that you caused!

You continue to be one of my heros, for having the strength to go off to Malawi all by yourself. And people told me I was strong for leaving my son and husband to live in Pocatello Idaho...

Whew! What a relief. I was beginning to think you were Wonder Woman!

Seriously, you're doing so much more than I have even considered. You're taking your life by the horns and twisting it in the direction you want it to go. That takes a lot of courage and strength - both of which you clearly possess. It's a relief to know that even Wonder Woman needs the support of her friends every now and then! lol

And here I was, all proud of myself for finally facing my math demons and enrolling in college! Meanwhile you're helping to shape a nation! I'm in awe.

Celest,

I have absolutely no words to describe how impressed I am by you and what you are doing with your life (as I sit here 7 miles from my childhood home, as you can tell, I didnt get very far!) I am just in AWE! I cannot imagine the strength you have to be able to leave it all and embark on such a venture. Be proud - YOU are one strong woman and YOU can do anything!

Wow Celeste, I think I would have broken down before I cleared customs to enter the country. You are an amazing, brave woman. And how many people are able to say that they actually are helping to shape a nation?

It has to be hard with your friend gone, but we're here for you! (((HUGS)))

Celest, I told your stories lastnight at dinner with my DH and his best friend and they thought both stories were pretty funny.

Just thought you might like to know your adventures are eagerly looked forward to, as a plesant evening's diversion.

DonnaB - how did you know I always wanted to be Wonder Woman? Since I lost weight I have no breasts so that metal bra might be the way to go.

Vines - if you pm me your email address, I will add you to my monthly email of life in Malawi. It usually has some good entertainment.

I am in a better mood. Today, I went and changed my ticket and am staying in the US for 2 extra days. I did not tell my Malawi counterparts because they are unhappy that I am leaving at all. I will just blame the airlines (I know I shouldn't lie). But the extra days will take some of the stress off and give me a couple more nights to get together with friends and family.

I realized tonight that I overcome a major roadblock. I have not turned on the windshield wipers (instead of the turn signal) all week. Yeah!! Driving on the left is not difficult but the windshield thing was.

Hi Celeste I have thought of you and wondered how you are doing. I have not been watching the lapband web site much and am out of touch. I decided I should get to it and I ate some cantalope for a late snack and it is stuck in my craw so to speak because I didn't shew well enough. I am sure you can identify. If you have time and want to answer me my email is dabel2@min.midco.net. Hope to hear from you. Darlene

Road,

You totally amaze me. I read your post each time in awe. You are the bravest, strongest woman I know and quite frankly I think Wonder Woman outfit is cute. LOL

I would love to hear more about where you are at, it amazes me. I always wanted to do work overseas and now I'm 42 and too old for anything. If it's not to much trouble is there anyway you would put me on your monthly newsletter mailing. I would love to see what I missed out on. Anytime you need to vent you are a blessing to us so vent on.

Hoping your having a better day.

mysherrijo@hotmail.com is my addy.