Pre-op Diet Meltdown!
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Yesterday was Day 9 of my 4 week pre-op diet. It has been difficult here and there, but I had a total meltdown yesterday and I'm still hoping I could pull it back together today. I had my morning shake and then for lunch I had my chicken broth. Then around 1:00 I started freaking out at work that I had to eat something. I was so close to driving through somewhere but I didn't. Instead I ran down the black to walgreens and bought a jar of Peanut Butter and some extra gum. I intended to eat a few spoonfuls of the PB but once I started i couldn't stop and ate like 1/3 of the jar (one of those small jars). Then i felt a little sick but I still had my second shake around 3:30. I left work at 4 and then went to the grocery store to buy something to make for dinner for my family (a job that gets harder as each day passes). I've been trying to make simple foods and use semi-prepared side dishes so I'm not fully cooking. So I bought pork chops and some pre-made mashed potatoes.
My family was all late in getting home for various reasons (traffic, football practice) so the food was sitting there practically calling my name, especially the mashed potatoes. Finally when everyone was home I re-heated the pototoes again and while I was stirring them I just broke down and started crying. It took all the strength I had not to put that spoonful of mashed potatoes in my mouth after not having a carb for 9 days. I'm actually surprised at myself that I didn't. My poor husband ushered me away and told me that he would take care of everything to just go watch tv or something away from the food. (note: my husband is extremely supportive which is a huge help and a blessing). So I went in the other room and then went into full out sobbing crying because my WHOLE family was at the table for a change---with 2 sons ages 20 and 17 that rarely happens. So now I'm crying over mashed potatoes and the fact that I can't sit at the table with my family. It was a really tough night. But I finally calmed down, drank my other shake and eventually got through it.
I really think 4 weeks is much too long for this pre-op diet. Most people have to do 2 or none at all. I love my doctor and believe in him, but this is very tough. He requires this of all his patients, not just me. My starting BMI is 40.1 so that's not the reason. But I wish I would have stuck to my original thoughts and just done 2 weeks anyway. Yesterday I kept saying that I can't do this for 3 more weeks, its too long. It's only a little over a week and I'm freaking. That being said, I also am due for my period any day and I usually do get a little emotional prior so that could be playing a factor too.
Anyway, for those who are still reading this long drawn out post, thank you! I just needed to let it out somewhere!