Hello everyone! I have been reading in here for the past week and decided to step out of the shadows and say hello. I am going to a Seminar in Jacksonville being given by Dr. Webb next Tuesday.

I must say a part of me feels guilty almost like a failure for giving up on diet and exercise and contemplating something so drastic. I am 99% sure that I am going to have to pay for everything and I feel bad using 15-18 thousand dollars to right my own wrong, There are so many things we could use that money for for all of us instead of just me. I think that I am on the right path, because friends tell me I should definately do this. I am terrified that my ravenous appetite will cause me to fail and to fail at something that costs this much would be a huge problem. I guess because I have failed at all of the diets. I always start out good, and have lost over 50 pounds a few times, but I then find myself becoming obsessed with food, and like magic I end up fatter than before. I am now very over weight - I'm 5'6" and I think in the 300 range give or take 15-20 pounds (I think probably give).

Any advice would be helpful and appreciated. I do not yet have diabetes or anything major, but sometimes my knees hurt, my hips and back heart every night and I have to get out of bed slowly because of my back, My self esteem is very low, and I have acid reflux off and on. I do have a few minor disc issues in my lower back, that are amplified because of my weight.

I do not eat any veggies right now, and only occasionly fruit, so my rationale is that this surgery can help me even if worse case scenario (being realistic and honest) I do sometimes or even most of the time eat the foods I currently eat but in smaller portions because of the band making me feel full. I'm not going into this planning to fail, but I want to put forth the worst case scenario like I said. If anyone else felt this way and has been sucessful, please tell me your story.

Thanks for reading this and for any replies!!

:paranoid

Kim

I am new too, and have only gotten so far as to talk to my Dr. and put in a referral. My fears are close to yours. I wish I could offer help, but at least your not alone.

I understand the feeling like a failure. I tried tons of different diets and organizations. I lost weight, but eventually, when I stopped the "program" all the weight came back and brought a few friends.

I was self pay, too. I thought my DH would have a cow, but he said, it's not about the money. It's about you. You are worth more than any car, carpeting, etc. And you will enjoy yourself for the rest of our lives. I liked that part ... our lives.

I also don't have any major problems. I did have knee surgery (not a replacement) that was probably related to the weight, but that's it. I was just so tired of being fat. Of trudging the stairs, a hill, etc. Huffing and puffing with a red face. I was always shocked at the person I caught sight of in plate glass windows. I truly never recognized myself. I hated buying clothes that had a X in them. I could see the writing on the wall that if I didn't get the weight off now (I am 60) that I would be heading for a slew of weight related health issues in a few years.

Right after surgery, I loved it. I lost weight during the liquid phase. I lost weight during the soft foods. Now that I have completely healed, that loss has come to a stand still. My first fill is this Friday. I find great comfort that I am not doing this alone. I will have a constant friend with me. I have no regrets.

Hi Kim, I thought the same thing as you --feeling like a failure for not sticking to dieting or exercise. And then it hit me.......I still will have to do that.....this is just a "diet aid".......on my own...I'd be taking diet pills which in the long run would do more damage than good. (I have suffered the ill effects of diet pills already)...so the bad is my substitute for the diet pill! My husband just dropped 22 lbs like it was nothing. I know how you feel. But we are all different and yay for our husbands but it doesn't work for us...and we deserve to be healthy and live a long and happy life...so if what banding is what we need, so be it!!

http://www.or-live.com/AtlantiCare/weightloss/skin/rnh.cfm?language=english

this link is my surgeons webinar it is great I watched it four times!!!

I haven't been banded yet, but find out tuesday roughly when i am scheduled.

Best Wishes!!!

Hey! Good morning!

Thanks so much for the previous 4 comments. I truely appreciate your taking the time to reply and help me. I want this to work and I want to do this as long as I know that I can. I can eat so much and anything I want really with WW, but still I have not even been succuessful with that and I was allowed to have light doritos or a McDonalds ice cream cone if I wanted and still lose weight.

Geeze I get so emotional when I read how much pain being overweight and the lack of control over food causes so many of us. I do believe that if This 'tool' will make me feel full after only a small amount of food. I feel like the little frozen meals (LC, HC and WW brands specifically) are so tiny and have never been able to call one a meal. If they are allowed, imagine how nice it would be to have one for lunch and dinner and be completely satisfied - and if not that a portion of food that small. I would think that I would have to lose weight eating so little.

Last night I went to another site and was looking at tons of before and after pictures, and showed my husband a picture of a lady that went from a 'plain' looking heavy lady to a head turning beauty after losing 100 pounds. I was smiling with hope, and he said that I would have to look as good, because he thinks I am already beautiful and he hugged me and smiled at me.

I am curious, I know the band is a tool, but for others that were as addicted to food as me, on a scale of 1-10 how helpful is the band? If it really makes you feel full- like I would say after eating a footlong sub and chips does for me now - by eating a fraction of that, I think I could do it. Usually a couple of hours after the sub I want a little of something sweet or salty or both for a snack, so can I have a tiny snack a few hours after eating 1/2 of a 6" sub and 2 doritos? Is everything just pretty much scaled down, but satisfying? I bet a Chinese buffet would be a complete waste of money lol! I always envy my friends and coworkers that leave a little food on their plate, so I think that would be pretty cool if I got full on only 1/2 of a meal!

Ya'll have a great day!

~Kim

Bettina,

Best wishes for Tuesday! I know you can't wait )

Thanks for the video, I watched it for over an hour (till he started talking about the other -more riskier- surgery), and now I have to go to work without much make-up and wet hair lol, but it was definately great and I learned a lot. I am pretty sure that I am going to go for it! I know me and I am not one of the 5% that will be able to take it off and keep it off. If I can get full faster that is what will help me. Thanks so much for sharing!

Good Luck at your appointment! let me/us know when your surgery will be!

~Kim

Kim,

As I read your messages, I kept thinking..."wow, someone else is actually going through what I am!" I am also seriously considering the lap band surgery. Three weeks ago, my pcp suggested that I consider the surgery. I am seeing my doctor today and will hopefully set up an appointment with a surgeon.

Like many have said, I too feel like I am addicted to food. I have been able to decrease what I eat some days, (other days....forget it..lol). I still eat more than I should. I hate the constantly thinking about food.

I also have the fear of going through this surgery....and still not losing weight. I'm willing to do anything, (and have tried just about everything else) to lose this weight.

I'm thankful that we have a place like this where we all can share our thoughts, fears, and feelings! The support here is wonderful!

Dee

I have been banded for just over 2 months now. I think it has been very beneficial. I too was a huge eater. I see from your posts that you realize this is a tool and not a "cure all" for weight loss. You still have to work at it - at least in my experience. I still feel hunger, but its so much more managable. My stomach will growl and rumble a little once in a while. But then it passes and I can control it. Prior to surgury, If I didn't eat breakfast pretty soon after getting up, I would become literally sick and feel bad physically. As you research, you will find there are foods you should no longer eat. From someone who has lost 75 lbs and 110 lbs in the last ten years and put it all back on, plus some, I can tell this is going to be very successful for me. Hope this feedback helps.

I must say a part of me feels guilty almost like a failure for giving up on diet and exercise and contemplating something so drastic. My husband found out he was a diabetic and lost a ton of weight by diet and exercise and is completely muscular now, and he did it for free basically. I am 99% sure that I am going to have to pay for everything and I feel bad using 15-18 thousand dollars to right my own wrong, There are so many things we could use that money for for all of us instead of just me.

Any advice would be helpful and appreciated. I do not yet have diabetes or anything major, but sometimes my knees hurt, my hips and back heart every night and I have to get out of bed slowly because of my back, My self esteem is very low, and I have acid reflux off and on. I do have a few minor disc issues in my lower back, that are amplified because of my weight.

:paranoid

Kim

You sound so much like me! I'm not banded yet, but have my appt. So others can tell you about being banded, I can tell you a bit about why I made the decision I did. Part of it is that DH was banded about 2 years ago, and he's doing well.

I don't have major health problems either, yet. It's the "yet" that got me thinking. I realized that if I didn't do something, I'd have to face the consequences of my weight. I have the sore hips, and creaky knees already. I've tried so many plans since my first round in WW when I was in Junior High. I'm 42 now, so it was time to admit that I can't do this without more help. The band seemed like a really good tool for that.

The money is an issue, esp. since DH was self-pay as I will be. We are using a home equity credit line. Actually, we'll pay for it with a credit card to get airline miles, then pay it off with the home equity. We can deduct the interest on our taxes, and we'll have enough medical costs to deduct that too this year. That helps offset the cost a little. And I realized that I'm worth at least as much as a newer car or remodeled kitchen. We have a good friend who is about 10 years older, and heavy. She's at the point where she can't get out of the car without it being a major ordeal. I DON"T want to get to that point. And doing something good for you IS doing something for all of you. Think about how your husband will be getting a wife who feels better, looks better, has more energy and will likely be around longer to enjoy the marriage.

The other thing to think about is to not compare yourself to your husband. It's great that he did what he did, but he's not you. I understand the feeling of "I should be able to do this on my own". But should or not, I can't.

Last night I went to another site and was looking at tons of before and after pictures, and showed my husband a picture of a lady that went from a 'plain' looking heavy lady to a head turning beauty after losing 100 pounds. I was smiling with hope, and he said that I would have to look as good, because he thinks I am already beautiful and he hugged me and smiled at me. ~Kim

Sounds like a sweetie! I'm glad you have such good support.

I must say a part of me feels guilty almost like a failure for giving up on diet and exercise and contemplating something so drastic. .. I think that I am on the right path, because friends tell me I should definately do this. One almost said today that if she was my size she would do it although she stopped short at if I was... I am terrified that my ravenous appetite will cause me to fail and to fail at something that costs this much would be a huge problem. I guess because I have failed at all of the diets. I always start out good, and have lost over 50 pounds a few times, but I then find myself becoming obsessed with food, and like magic I end up fatter than before. I am now very over weight - I'm 5'6" and I think in the 300 range give or take 15-20 pounds (I think probably give).

(Sorry for the quote, but I don't want to have to scroll up to reference your post… and sorry in advance for the long post…)

I felt bad about getting so low that this surgery was my only option. I WANTED to lose the weight myself. When I put my mind to something, it gets done, so why not THIS particular something? That's another book... It took me almost 5 years of heavy thought and self contemplation before I was "OK" with the idea of having weightloss surgery. I spent 4 years telling myself, “MAYBE I’ll consider if, if I don’t weigh under X by X date” or “Ok, I will do it if I can’t be 40 lbs lighter this time next year, because obviously if I can’t make that little goal, I just can’t do it on my own.” I also kept thinking, especially as I was truly, seriously considering LB, “Damn, it would be a shame if one last diet could have fixed my problem… so maybe I should give it one last chance…”

Here’s the thought process I had that slowly changed the way my gears were turning:

Lots of people have health issues. Lots of people have borderline health issues, or are at risk for health issues. Most of those people are employing some type of medical intervention for their issues. Why is this so different? Why should I not seek the medical treatment available to help with what might otherwise turn into a significant health issue? Why is it OK for an alcoholic to receive a new liver, but not for me to get the band? Why is it OK for a smoker to seek breathing treatments, but not ok for me to seek a medical support? Eventually – I could no longer explain away the differences, and could no longer justify to myself staying fat.

Don’t feel bad about the money (easy to say, my insurance covered… I know). If you need reassurance that it’s a worthwhile investment, ask your husband – “If we could spend $180000 on <debt, car, house, whatever>, or on something that will give me a really good shot at a normal, healthy weight and longer life, which would you want to spend the money on?” J

I do want to interject against one thing you said. You say “I think that I am on the right path, because friends tell me I should definitely do this”. In the politest way possible, your friends have nothing to do with this, and you should not use their opinions as a way to judge whether or not this is right for YOU. It’s handy to have the support… can definitely be done without… but make sure you aren’t allowing their opinions to change your life. YOU need to be telling yourself that YOU should do this. Until then, it’s maybe not the right path.

Have you researched the band, how it works, and what happens once you’re banded? I think for most people, upon finding good restriction, don’t have to contend with appetite. A majority of the significance of restriction is that you get full on a small amount of food. That’s why we get it. The possible restriction on certain foods, and negative consequences to “eating wrong” are side effects… the purpose is to cause satiety on small portions.

Any advice would be helpful and appreciated.

Here’s another “setting” I put myself in when contemplating WLS:

Time is going to pass. There’s nothing I can do about it, it’s one of the few truly inevitable things about life. It’s going to be “a year from now”, regardless of what I do. So in a year, I can be like this, or fatter – or I can be well on the road to a much healthier & happier me. In a year, how am I going to feel if I reflect back on this exact moment, and only feel regret for not making changes?

I rarely am on these boards anymore but got an email update and saw your post...

I am just coming up as of today..30 days away from my 4 year "bandiversary". As of today, I am down 103lbs lost total. I do still have about 30 to go. For my own reasons, it has been very slow loss over these 4 years. I was not one of those who lost it all quickly straight out of the gate..BUT that is said not to discourage anyone from this surgery!

What was always most important to me was not how I lost it and how much I lost, but KEEPING IT OFF!!! LIke you said yourself..you probably could diet and excercise one more time..fighting your way down..and then you know as well as I knew...you will most likely gain it all back. I never did a diet where I managed to keep it off. Statistics are against us. Only 5% of the population who loses weight keeps it off over a 5 year period. You have 95% chance of FAILURE!!! Those are bad betting odds!

I am not discouraged about what I have not lose yet..I know some of it is still fat and I do have some belly skin to get rid of as well with surgery some day, but when I am upset that my summer clothes in size 12 are suddenly loose..I can't complain that much. My 10's are even feeling a bit loose these days.

I have managed to not gain back a single lb in 4 years!! 4 freaking years and no weight gain!!

I do admit..there are days I hate the band and other days I am grateful for it. Most days I am bored with food and don't even want to take the time to chew food..other times, I have cravings that I cannot ignore. You won't totally be a perfect eater once banded..you will still have moments of wanting to eat crap, but just less of it!

As far as the money..sure..your family could probably take $18K and buy a car, make house payments, buy "stuff", take a vacation..but what is all that stuff worth if your life is shortened because of your weight. My highest weight was 300lbs..I was less than that when banded..but even though I was fairly "healthy" at that time , I know I was on a slow death march if I continued to stay that weight. You are worth that money...that 95% is working against you..stop fighting it and make a decision that will save your life. I went to Mexico because my insurance would not cover it and it was the best $9000 I spent in my life!!

Best of luck whatver you decide!

Patty

8/13/02

-103

Dr Kuri

Wow, thank you all so much for the fabulous input. I knew I was sensitive about my weight, but the caring that you are all showing is overwhelming and I am getting tears in my eyes. I am so grateful. I am almost certain that this is what I want to do, and I will definately be a regular here and will do my best to pay it forward and assist any other new folks that join this message board once I become an expert.

Thanks so much, you have no idea (or maybe you do) of how helpful the insight and comments are. I am going to go back and read it all again so that it all sinks in!

~Kim:grouphug:

I look forward to getting to know all of you! throughout this journey!

Man...I had an epiphany reading these posts....

I just realized that it isn't what I am eating that is my problem, but rather what is eating ME!!!

I have had all these exact same thoughts that you guys are experiencing and realized it really isn't normal to be so obsessed with food. I wish I could be a neuron in everyone's brain to understand what it is that we are replacing with the food we "love" so much.... I am not really afraid of being hungry....people die of starvation, they don't die of HUNGER....I am afraid that I cannot feed whatever it is that I am trying to placate inside myself.....Fear of lonliness, abandonment, low self esteem, anger, sorrow??

How scary is it to realize that food is a drug for you? I always thought I didn't eat much, but now realize how often I snuck around behind my husband (five minutes ago) trying to eat something without him knowing, because even I knew I didn't WANT or NEED what I was eating....

Kim...we are all there.....some of us more than others. Maybe we should think about whether we are more afraid to be hungry and face these demons we have, or whether we are more afraid to live half a life as a "fatty" and die well before we deserve to. For me, I think THAT fear is starting to overtake my fear of surgery, pain, etc....

I am also working my way through the emotions that go along with the decision "To LAP or not to LAP". I am happy to chat with you anytime....

A wannabe LAPer....Charlotte

I spent 4 years telling myself, “MAYBE I’ll consider if, if I don’t weigh under X by X date” or “Ok, I will do it if I can’t be 40 lbs lighter this time next year, because obviously if I can’t make that little goal, I just can’t do it on my own.” I also kept thinking, especially as I was truly, seriously considering LB, “Damn, it would be a shame if one last diet could have fixed my problem… so maybe I should give it one last chance…”

WOW! I did the same thing, I went above the x weight (by about 15 pounds) and always told myself that if I hit it I would opt for surgery, and even did WW when I went over saying one final attempt on my own, and here I am again. I am going to see if I can schedule an appointment tomorrow by phone for as close to right after the seminar Tuesday as possible! My husband seems to really mean it when he says that if this is what I want to do and have researched it to the point where I am comfortable that he won't stop me. I have to do something and I have to do it ASAP or next year like you said I will be just as fat or fatter wishing that I would have done something. Maybe even diabetic by then.

Thanks again for your advice!

~Kim

:hungry: i HAVE ACTUALLY GAINED 1ST SINCE BANDED 2 YEARS AGO AND FOR ME IT HAS BEEN A WASTE OF MONEY... I CAN STILL EAT LOTS OF CHOCOLATE AND OTHER SATURATED FATS AND I WOULD NEVER EVER HAVE HAD IT PUT IN IF i HAD KNOWN IT WOULD NOT REDUCE MY CRAVING FOR THE SATURATED FATS:help: