First day back to work
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I've been at my job for 6 years. It's a small place with about 60 employees and we're all pretty close. I fit in and I have a ton of friends here. Only 4 of them knew that I was out for surgery. I've always hid behind my weight. It was my shell, my protection. It helped make me invisible and play the background. Well, now that it's rapidly melting away, I don't know if I like all the attention. Everyone keeps telling me how good I look and I'm so embarrassed. People are stopping me in the hall and complimenting me. I should be living it up, right? WRONG! I feel...exposed. I didn't want to be invisible anymore, I just dont' know if I want to be visible yet - or this fast.
I still look like the same person to me. My clothes don't fit, my scale and my coworkers says I've lost a lot of weight, so I guess I have, but I still feel like the shy, girl trying desperately to hide behind my fat so no one would notice me. Why is it that I never have therapy on the days that I having a crisis?