We have developed abnormal relationships with food. We eat to cope. We eat when we're bored, happy, sad. Food can be a lover, a friend. The biggest problem with this is that food works really well and really quickly in these situations and we gain weight.

If we only ate when we were truly hungry we'd all be thin.

We also train ourselves like dogs to be hungry all the time. This is not true hunger. This is phantom hunger. If we eat in the mini-van, in front of the computer or in our chair in front of the TV, what this does is that every time we are in the mini-van, in front of the computer or in our chair in front of the TV, we are HUNGRY. This is not true hunger. This is phantom hunger and we've gotten really good at it. A major help is to only eat at the table so that it is the only thing associated with food. If you go up to a dog and say, "wanna treat?" they will go absolutely bizerk because they associate this with food coming in.

There are many terms for phantom hunger - emotional eating, mindless eating, non-hunger eating, etc. This is the hardest thing to solve. The keys are to recognize our triggers and to identify sources of deep-seated psychological pain and address them so the phantom hunger will go away. The best book I've seen on this is called "Shrink Yourself" by Dr. Gould.

True hunger is a physiological NEED for food. It is patient. Any food will do. There is no associated guilt or shame.

Phantom hunger is a DESIRE for food. It is impatient. There is a specific craving. ("If I don't get chocolate right now I will harm somebody" etc.) It is a reaction to a stimulus. It is associated with guilt or shame.

The easy test to see if you suffer from phantom hunger is if you can't stop yourself.

Phantom hunger is the most complicated aspect of weight gain and therefore the hardest part of successful weight loss. It comes from many different things in each one of us. We all have this. Skinny people have phantom hunger but they control it.

A great example in Dr. Gould's book is an overweight woman whose life's dream was to get paid to sing. Unfortunately, in high school, a boyfriend made fun of her singing and this hurt her deeply emotionally. Every time this psychological pain came up, she ate. She struggled to lose weight. When Dr. Gould identified this and encouraged her to sing again, she finally agreed to sing at a friend's wedding and she received many positive accolades after. This led to a job as a music teacher in an elementary school - she was getting paid to sing. Guess what? She lost weight successfully. She solved the source of deep psychological pain and therefore eliminated the source of phantom hunger. Another example is women who were sexually abused as children. Food treats the pain and obesity is an outer protection against abuse. This is very difficult to deal with alone and typically requires the help of a professional to bring this to the surface, deal with it and treat the source of psychological pain and phantom hunger. You see similar situations in unhappy marriages and basically any source of real stress. The secret in all these things is to deal with the source of pain and also find non-food ways to cope with them. All this is easy to say. This is the most difficult aspect of weight loss. Finding a psychology professional that deals specifically with weight loss can be helpful to tipping the scale in your favor.

An interesting test in Dr. Gould's book is to ask yourself who you are jealous of and why. He sees many patients who can't pinpoint their source of psychological pain so he asks them who they are jealous of. This is how he identified the source of pain in his singing patient when she told him she was jealous of a friend who was paid to sing.

This is a tiny amount of information on a very complex topic. You can do the nutrition and fitness stuff perfectly and still not lose weight if there are issues in the brain stuff category. Ask yourself if you suffer from phantom hunger and if you have difficulty stopping yourself. Consider working with an expert or reading Dr. Gould's book. Positive self-talk is another important topic in this discipline and I go into detail on this and more on YouTube. Search Watkins Weight Loss Class.

I hope this is helpful. Weight loss surgery makes all this stuff much easier but it is still important to be smart in the disciplines of Nutrition, Fitness and Brain Stuff. I wish you all the greatest success in your weight loss journey. Remember the importance of buying yourself a really nice present when you reach your goal.

Brad Watkins MD

What an interesting post. . . I remember doing something in psychology about the singing woman and Dr. Gould. . .it's been years ago, but I believe too that "head hunger" is just that, a want and not a need. . . i battle it every day, I get to the point of feeling that if I don't get the craving I will really really die. . . for me the craving is black licorice. . . there is a deep wound in my past, but it is my past and we must crawl out of the hole the best we can and live the best way we can as well. . .it hurt us then, but they can't hurt us now. . so i do alot of self talk and ask myself if i really want that candy or do i need it. . . of course my devil side says I NEED IT, but the reality side knows it doesn't need it just want it. . . so i ask myself do i want to go back to those habits that made me weigh 350lbs again? of course the answer is no. . . but i battle that head hunger EVERY DAY. . . i've been given excellent suggestions on helping which I'm trying and seem to work. . . amazing how the brain works. . . but if your strong willed and want something sooooo badly (being thin) it's amazing how you can talk yourself out of things too. . . mind over matter . . . thanks for sharing the post it was very inspirational to me and I will get Dr. Gould's book. . .

Thank you both for sharing those points. Alot of good stuff to think about.