Where am I now?
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Hi all
I have not posted in quiet some time... busy... you know... but I am at 9 months and I thought I'd give an update.
for all the challenges that this type of surgery can present (in my case pretty minor, a little extra skin, frustration over slow weight loss etc.) I would absolutly, hands down do it again.
I was so scared at first. I remember I started crying in the elevator on the way up to surgery... just overwhelmed with the idea of permanantly altering my body. The people on this forum did soooo much to help me stay sane before and after.
My biggest challenge has been that I am a slow looser. I "only" had 57 lbs to loose, so I expected to be at goal pretty fast. I think there were two months when I lost more than 10 lbs, but other than that its been pretty slow (relatively speaking, I could have never achieved this without surgery). A couple of months ago I was diagnosed with hypothyridism and have since started on meds. Although I feel better, I still only lost 2 lbs this month. I have 8 to go. It may take me 4 months to get there... but I guess I'll get there.
Before surgery I was a binger. I would go on a super restrictive diet until I couldn't stand it... then binge on everything I could get my hands on. Yesterday, after doing my monthly weight in and discovering I had only lost 2lbs I slipped back into "bing" mode and had about 5 chips with queso and two Peanut Butter Cookies. The cookies make me kind of sick (I think I have a little dumping syndrome, which is probably for the best). That was all I was able to eat for the rest of the day. Granted... not the best way to deal with frustration (I'm really working on finding better coping skills and thats the first "binge" since surgery) but, if I'm going to binge 500 calories is a lot better than 5000 (not and exageration). If your considering surgery... don't let this put you off....most of you will loose much faster and if you do happen to be a slow looser, its a little frustrating, but eventually the weight comes off (I was considered low bmi pre-surgery, I think most people with higher bmi's loose at a much quicker pace).
Although I am so happy about loosing the weight... I am most pleased with the psychological changes that have taken place. I have a sense of being satisfied most of the time now. Its not that I feel restricted to "only" eating small amounts of food, its that small amounts of food are emensly satisfying, much more so than huge amounts of food used to be. It's allowed me to let go of that constant focus on what I will eat next... what diet I will go on next etc. I feel like I can just live now.
Bottom line.... I would do it again in an instant!!!!!
I hope you are all doing well on your journey
thanks for reading
stacey