Okay, my confidence is wavering. I am going to Mexico, I am having surgery. I am using a young doctor that isn't a big name guy. I want so badly to be free. I want so badly, maybe I am making a bad choice because I feel so desperate. I dream at night of what it would be like to have the old me back. I hurt all the time, my knees, my back, my joints. It is hard to walk because it hurts, any exersice hurts. My husband loves me I know, but I can't remember the last time he touched my face and told me I was pretty. I used to get hit on all of the time, not now. I know it sounds petty. I know I should want to change for a better reason than looks. Not that I am a beauty queen. I wasn't a hag though, until now. I am scared. Did I pick the right doctor for the right reason, or just the one I could afford. I don't have health insurance and I has to beg borrow and steal (practically) to get the money for this young doctor. But I am scared, scared that I am going to lose more than money. Or, will I. What if I let my fear stand in my way of something that could work out just fine. I used to be very strung out on meth. I have six years clean. I went back to school three years ago to a community college and graduated, now I am at a CSU working on my English degree. I have had three years of therapy. I put on all this weight after I stopped using. Inside I am a free me, a healed me, a clean and competent me. But outside I am a sloth. I want the two to match. I want to be naked in front of my mirror and not cringe. I want to make love without all the fat in the way. I want to make love for more than 10 minutes without being exhausted. I want one chin. I did this to my self and sometimes I feel like the weight is my punishment, like a scarlet letter around my neck. Sometimes I feel like it keeps me safe, because before the weight I made foolish rash decisions. I am scared of changing, and not changing. If anyone knows how to check out the reputation of a doctor in mexico, will you please let me know. So far no one in this site has used Dr. Rafael Abril. Thanks.

Hi,

I completely understand where you are coming from. It's a hard decision...and we all know change is difficult.

I read on someone's signature something like, "you have to want to become a butterfly so badly that you have to be

willing to give up being a caterpillar". It's hard to leave our old selves behind and with WLS of any kind we need

to be mentally prepared. I had the Lapband and was fairly successful for a long time. However, I have completely

given up on my band and consequently, myself. I've regained almost all of my weight back and am now looking

into plication or sleeve gastrectomy. I'd prefer plication but can't afford it so I'm hoping to have insurance pay

for my band removal and self-pay for the plication. I have been going to a local support group and I think

that is heping. I am planning on seeing a therpaist as well starting in January to mentally prepare myself

for another surgery and weight loss.

As far as your doctor - I think Wasabubblebutt has some good info on how to research Mexican doctors on her

blog: http://wasabubblebutt.blogspot.com/

There are a few patients of Dr. Abrils that have their emails available on this site also: http://www.mexicolapbandcenter.com/sucess-stories.html

perhaps you can email them and get an actual account of their surgery. It seems that Dr. Abril has

worked with Dr. Corvala so you may want to call his office and ask, although they may not be unbiased since

they probably want you to have surgery with them!

I was considering using Dr. Jose Rodriguez, he is a bit cheaper than Dr. Corvala and Dr. Ortiz but I luckily found

a dr. here in California that has started doing plication!

Good luck to you!

genepha

We are all here for you! We have all been in the that bad, bad place that lead us to weight loss surgery. Hang in there, research your surgeon, and then make the best choice for yourself. You won't regret the sleeve! Hugs!

My date is Jan 13th and I am scared too, but I am more scared of being fat the rest of my life than I am of the surgery. Trust your surgeon, and know that complications are rare.

Hang in there...it is scary for sure...and yes it is major surgery.....but do your research on your surgeon. I went to Dr. Corvala and have been so please, it was an easy go at it, and if you are scared of narcotics/relapse...they don't use narcs in Mexico...so you'll basically be given strongish tylenol....I didn't use my pain med...used them for menstrual cramps after surgery.....

good luck, keep the faith, and know that you are in the best hands you found.....keep us posted