I just started my preop diet today and this is day 1 of a total of 14 days and I swear you would think I'm going through withdrawls from a serious drug. One minute I'm crying and flipping out about wanting some bread, pizza or a hamburger and the next minute i am perfectly logical in explaining to my husband that what I am experiencing is the psychological ramifications of no longer being on solid food. This has definitely been a trip and do you know who I blame? I blame all the post WLS'ers who never described how much of an emotional roller coaster it is on the first day. Or how many times you would have to talk yourself down from eatting just one more last meal of whatever new billboard or commercial you have seen. But on top of all of this is the utter despair at being such a sloth that you would have to do something as extreme as weight loss surgery in the first place. Or the voices in the back of your head telling you to face reality -- you are 6'2 410 pounds and only 25 years old what made you think you could possibly do this? And that the only thing that makes you feel even a semblance of sanity is drinking some broth because it tastes like meat. I am SOOOOO happy that my coordinator told me to drink as much of any of the items on the list as I want because I think just the act of denying myself liquids after denying myself all day would put me over the edge.

And this feeling of emptiness I never noticed before because anytime I would begin to feel the slightest bit of space in my stomach I would cram something into it in order to get that safe full feeling again.

There have been some triumphs with all of this though...

I have successfully walked away from turkey, creamed spinach, pizza, hamburgers, candy and everything else I have been encountering all day today. And even my triumphs make me feel pathetic. Someone please write and let me know that this isn't just me that has gone through this feeling. And if you haven't experienced this then please do not write back I quite frankly do not have the emotional thick skin typical of my solid- eatting- full- self to handle it right now.

Today is my day one for my 7 day liquid diet. I have to cook for my husband and 4 kids and I did good tonight but I am starving! I can have the normal popsicles, broth, Jello, Protein shakes, decaf tea, diet snapple....

Does it get better/easier? I only have to do 7 days, I couldn't imagine doing 14. Those that only have to do 2 days, you are blessed!

I would love to say it gets easier but to be honest I have struggle almost every day. I have found that if I drink chicken broth before cooking for my husband it does get easier. I only had to 7 days...Today was my final day and tomorrow it is clear liquids only. I have to do a bowel prep tomorrow night starting at 5 pm mixing a small container of MIralax (7 doses) with 32 oz of Gatorade. Luckily I work from home but I am on phones until 7 pm. This could get interesting. I am first on the schedule for Wednesday morning. You can make it. From what I hear this is the hardest part.