6 weeks of separation...
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…between me and my “former” life. This week, I am 6 weeks post-op, and down a total of 40# (including what I lost during the pre-op liquid diet). I guess you can say I’m STOKED about it…but it hasn’t been without some tears. *lol* Things are still touch & go with my food. A true love/HATE relationship at this point. Most days I vomit at least once – but generally not the gut-wrenching “Why hast thou forsaken me?!”. More like just a little spit up/mega indigestion/sludge-type of deal. I PROMISE, I’m trying to eat the right things (ie: chick/turkey breast, yogurt, Soup, Beans, veggies) but my body doesn’t always cooperate. And THAT is the thing that pisses me off. Admittedly, due to the frequency of vomiting, I find myself damn-near ravenous, and have gone to extreme lengths to try to eat ANYthing I think will stay down (ie: “sliders” – chips/crackers/sherbert & such) And whadda you know – THAT crap gives me no problem. But I’m starting to wonder what the real problem is. Maybe my inner fatgirl really is having a hard time giving up the ghost…
Some days I look in the mirror and become frustrated…because for the most part I DON’T see the loss except in my fun-bags and my face and my feet. Other folks definitely notice it. My clothes even notice it… but I can’t say that I “notice” it. I will say that my knees have stopped hurting, as well as my back, and even my bum-foot. All good things. And…I know it’s a process. I’ve also been told that even once at goal, I may STILL look in the mirror and “see” the morbidly obese me. But it’d be nice to look in the mirror and TRULY see what others see, yanno?
Other than that, I guess I can’t complain. 40# is nothing to sneeze at. Though for some reason, I feel like I should have lost more by now. But when I look at it – it’s coming off nicely. I started @ 310. surgery weight was 298…and I’ve lost about 25# since surgery. So yeah – I’m happy with that. I think I’m just scared that once I’m able to eat food the way I’m supposed to (w/no restrictions – I’m still on mushies/no raw veggies or seeded fruits…healthily and within reason, of course) that I’m going to be stalled out – for GOOD. Yet another reason why I’m glad I’ll be cleared for real exercise next week: I cant wait to get my belly dancing again. Walking is great, but I want to do something more substantial. Plus, I gotta get to working on these arms, and doing my bootay-building/shaping exercises to get ready for the spring/summer
All that to say – it’s been an amazing journey thus far. I’m still in disbelief most days – but this weightloss thang here…is inevitable. so let’s GET IT!